This is it, my day 1

[Stopthisshit]

I drink too much
I need to stop
This is my day 1
Join me

Thanks so much I feel a bit emotional today so that has bought a year to my eye. Just treating myself to a large mocha.

Thanks for your support it has been really helpful. Hope you have a lovely day.

How has your birthday been @rupertpenryswife ? Hope you've had a lovely day so far.

It was good unfortunately I did receive 2 bottles of wine, that my mum gladly took off my hands, this led to me telling my whole family I am now teetotal, my brother didn't believe me!! Feel quite glad people know now.

Wow, well done! A big test. You should be very proud of yourself.

I just had 10 sober days. Drank yesterday and was drunk in front of my teenagers. So ashamed and just wanted to say it somewhere. Starting again today. Is antabus any good? I obviously cant be trusted. I had 4 glasses of wine in secret and one beer with my husband and then i had a black out. But my husband told me how i swayed and mumbled and couldnt go a straight line. And kids saw and heard me. So ashamed. I denied to the wine. So stupid.

@marriedandtired my story is not dissimilar to yours, no it's not ideal, but only you can change it starting today. You have probably seen I have had some good support on here just at the times I needed it (not even my thread!).

You have shown you can do this 10 days is great, I am 2 weeks today and have had a wobble the last couple of days which @candleabra helped with.

I don't know about the alcohol medication but I went to my GP previously at 2 weeks sober, he told me I didn't need any help as I could clearly manage it.

I keep on saying it but I truly believe one of the things that got me this far is Alan Carr's the easy way to stop drinking for women, I listen to it on audible all the time, it really makes sense.

If you really want to stop you can do this, make today day 1, be positive, don't go over what you have done yet, if I feel I might drink I think back to the awful things I have done and it does stop me. I have been drinking too much for more years than I dare to remember, have done things and said things that are awful, all because I chose to drink.

We can support each other if that helps.

Sorry not sure what happened to.the paragraphs!

Thankyou, i will look for Alan Carrs book..
I am just so ashamed that my kids saw this. And i feel i cant trust myself. Why on earth did i drink in secret!! What if i do it again, i am afraid of it.
I cant be positive just yet, have huge anxiety and feel so guilty and a rotten mother.

I did the drinking in secret hiding empty bottles at the bottom of the bin, bottle of wine before lunch then off to school pick up!!! Why I don't know clearly I had/have an alcohol problem, the guilt was killing me that has eased because I know I am doing something to help myself and everyone I affected. My DH said to me the morning after my last drink I need to talk to you later about last night I felt physically sick, it was about the way I treated him and how the kids have noticed. That was my rock bottom.

Feel positive that you have identified your problem and this time will be different. When you read the Allen Carr book you will see the alcohol trap for what it is and why and how women drink. I am not excusing it we have clearly hurt the people we most care about.

I am scared I can't quit forever but I have to I cannot moderate. We can do this. Be kind to yourself think about your triggers and consider what you will do instead.

I had some lovely alcohol free alternatives as I started drinking when I was cooking, if I hadn't already. I keep chocolate in for the evening as my reward for getting through the day. Alan Carr does not agree with the chocolate thing but I need to do it.

Keep posting I will support you and can offer advice on how to keep going, alcohol free drinks etc. If I can do this you can.

Thank you so much.. and thank you for sharing your story..
I dont understand why i did it. It was a normal day yesterday, nothing out of the ordinary. Then suddenly i went out in the stable, where wine, beer etc is, bringing a glass, and i just stood there, drinking wine, fast. Then dh came home, we had a beer and then black out for me.
Im afraid i do it again. I dont trust myself.
I think i "forgot" to pay attencion to it, and the thought of "just a few" came.
But it is never just a few. And because i was sober for 10 days, they hit me hard.
I will start again. Thank you.

@rupertpenryswife I agree about Allen Carr's books (I didn't use the woman's one for obvious reasons) I think it really saved my life. Flicked that switch on if you like.

You CAN quit forever! I'm now 101 days sober. If I can do it so can you.

So currently away over night with DH & DC with all inclusive meal, really tempted to have a drink but know can't. Don't want to sit at dinner miserable any ideas for nice non alcoholic alternatives?

Hi, been out for the day. Hope you're ok. Had a gorgeous rhubarb mocktail at tea. I also live elderflower cordial with sparkling water. Think of how good you'll feel tomorrow morning. You can do it x

Ooh rhubarb mocktail sounds lovely tell me more. Well I didn't have any alcohol but I have come to realise how abundant alcohol is, it's everywhere.

So I had a nice peroni 0% however as part of the meal you get a drink included so, I asked if I could have a non alcoholic drink off the drinks menu, I was told no but I could have Carling or white/red wine 🤔, I said no I would like non alcoholic again was told Carling or wine, in the end gave up and had pepsi don't even like pepsi!!

I found the whole thing a bit disappointing I said to DH it shouldn't be easier to have alcohol. Never mind I didn't crumble.

Hey well done, that's a massive test and you got through it. Totally agree about the abundance and glamourisation of drinking alcohol. It's everywhere, looking lovely in cold glasses with beautiful people enjoying their drinks. You never see them throwing up the next morning or looking like crap due to overdoing it. I think you have to be really secure in your own decision and go for it because it's the best thing for you.

Not sure where you live but i find eating out in middle Eastern style restaurants (Turkish, Lebanese etc) brilliant because they always have really interesting but grown up soft drinks that are a massive treat and absolutely delicious.

Anyway, well done for last night, I bet you felt amazing this morning.

Yes I did feel good this morning tired, but it is nice to know it is nothing to do with alcohol.

Can I ask how do you feel 11 months down the line? So you still miss drinking? Do you think about maybe just having one? How do you keep pushing through? I know I have to quit I cannot moderate and that is fine. I just worry that forever is impossible but it really has to be. Do you still feel that buzz of being alcohol free or is it just a way of life now?

Do you read things related to sobriety or do you not feel the need now? I guess I feel a bit lonely in this and sad that I can't moderate. Also I have found that not drinking is almost met with distrust and people trying to offer/persuade you to drink as, one won't hurt (it would for me).

How are you doing marriedandtired are you still hanging in there? I really hope you are I could read the desperation in your post and totally understand.

Well I honestly hardly ever think about it now. And I NEVER thought that would happen. I was always looking forward to the next drink, planning my life around it, planning taxis, writing off the next morning....

It (drinking alcohol) is just something I don't do. I almost feel a bit panicky thinking about the possibility of drinking and remembering how bad it made me feel the next day. Appalling hangovers spending all day in bed, missing out on doing lovely things with the kids. I'm ashamed to think about it.

I'm not going to lie though, not everyone has been supportive. I still get everything from the 'go on just one won't hurt' to downright rudeness about bring boring. I don't socialise in the same way, I don't want to sit in a pub for 8 hours drinking coke.

But I've found an inner peace (I know, corny eh?!). The constant anxiety has stopped. And I'm so much more productive and proud of my achievements. I've effortlessly lost that stubborn last 8 lbs that I've been trying to lose fur the last 20 years, and my skin has never been better. Also (embarrassing!) no tummy issues or disgustingly smelly farts. And so on....

But i guess what I'm trying to say is that you may not get the validation you seek from others. Be secure that you've made a great decision for you and stick with it. You can do this.

Day one for me. I'm scared I can't do it but I need to stop. I'm out of control with how much I'm drinking.

This is how I felt at the beginning too, still have the odd day where I think I can't do it. Things I have found useful decide will you moderate or quit? I have quit I can't moderate, I have alternatives to alcohol for the times when I might otherwise drink wine, I also highly recommend Alan Carr books.

I have also had great help on here I post to update or if I am struggling or need some advice. It makes me feel responsible by posting on here I can't bear the thought of telling people I have started drinking again. Good luck you can do this, keep posting.

Thank you. I am quitting. I have been trying moderation the last few months but ended up drinking just as much. If I open a bottle of wine I don't stop till its finished where as normal people would only have a glass or two.

It sounds like the right decision, I have been sober for 17 days, it scares me to think I will no longer be able to drink 'like a normal person', but it's the only way. I am assured it gets easier by the long term sober so here is hoping.

Please read Allen Carr it's about women and alcohol the easy way. This is the biggest influence it makes you understand and see alcohol for what it is. I am listening to it on audible as I don't feel I am concentrating enough to read something so important at the moment.

How is everyone doing? Day 19 for me today and feeling positive.

Well done everyone. I need to stop, drinking every night.
Has anyone lost weight from not drinking?

Yes I have lost 8 pounds over that time, I have been eating chocolate to compensate for the alcohol! But still lost weight. Will address that when I need to. I make better food choices chocolate aside without really thinking about it.

Please may I join you? It's day 3 for me.

I know once I have that first drink, then I don't want to stop. I try (and mostly fail) to moderate by only drinking at the weekends, but I know that in reality I shouldn't drink at all.

I'm also guilty of the secret drinking, pouring my own measures and making out it's 'just a single with loads of tonic'. Or topping up my wine glass when DH is out of the room, and then glugging it down, so that it looks as though I've only had a sip.

We're away next week and I'm going to have to tell DB and DSIL that I'm not drinking. And I don't know how that will pan out.

On a more positive note, the mornings have been great and I am sleeping better and waking up refreshed. An unexpected benefit, I tidy up before bed, not leaving dirty dishes and a messy room waiting for me when I get up.

I've also found the Alan Carr and Jason Vale books really helpful.