This is it, my day 1

[Stopthisshit]

I drink too much
I need to stop
This is my day 1
Join me

[rupertpenryswife]

Elsacragg that is almost exactly my story, I cannot moderate I have tried but continuously fail, this leads to me really hating myself. I am 3 weeks tomorrow the longest I can remember.

I so agree about the tidying and feeling of achieving, I am more productive, more confident at work and can look my DC in the eye.

I also used to top up, panic about running out, hide bottles try to open them quietly, I was fooling no one.

I can go into bars and shops and go out for meals without thinking about my next drink it really is amazing. No more fear and anxiety waking up wondering what I had done and said.

Just realised how awful I sound I am ashamed but, I own my mistakes.

Don't know if you read the full thread but for my birthday last week I was given 2 bottles of wine, this led to an unprepared discussion with my whole family about the fact I am now sober, they don't know the whole story my parents were supportive, my brother couldn't believe it, this added to my resolve. At least my mum got a couple of free bottles 😆

In short I didn't believe I could or even wanted to stop but it's so worth it, I wake up positive, no hang over so have also started running again.

[Candleabra]

Hi, just checking in to cheer you on, you're all doing so well. It's so liberating not having the constant churn of wanting a drink, then feeling so unwell, ashamed and disappointed afterwards. Keep going, just one day at a time.

[rupertpenryswife]

Nice to hear from you. How are you getting on?

[Candleabra]

Hi, I'm good thanks. I think another thing to mention is that life doesn't miraculously become all sunshine and roses forever when you're not drinking. I know I had a dip in resolve after a couple of months when the initial earnest enthusiasm had worn off and I wondered where the fun was?! I think the problem is that the benefits of sobriety are slowly earned and gentle, whereas the effects of drinking are instant and (for a few hours at least) pretty exciting. I've had to completely change my mindset on what constitutes fun (hint, it's not all day drinking sessions). I've since taken up all sorts of activities I haven't done for years. Consuming alcohol is so energy sapping - not just the time spent actually drinking, but the recovery time afterwards. It's a lovely productive, but peaceful, place to be.

[AlwaysSunshine81]

I’m so ashamed of myself, I drank loads of gin last night without dinner and was then sick. I need to stop

[user1483387154]

dont worry alwayssunshine today is another day and you can start again.
I have my biggest test of resolve coming up this weekend. going out with friends who i always drink loads with and have already told me it will be boring if I dont drink.

[rupertpenryswife]

user that will be tricky not sure I would be able to stay AF that early on, what is your plan. I would feel pressured if someone said it would be boring, the difference now though is it would not bother me I really do not want to drink and don't feel the pressure now.

Sunshine it's common at the beginning to feel like this start again today I had load of failure's, I finally feel different this time so I am hoping it sticks. The thought of drinking the wine I used to love is not appealing in the slightest. Don't be hard on yourself start afresh, if you need to talk you know where I am.

[Candleabra]

@alwayssunshine81 use these feelings to make a great start today. Feeling so awful can give you a bit of a head start. Just focus on getting through today without drinking, one day at a time.

And @user I do agree with @rupert that it's probably a bigger test of your resolve than you need at the moment. You wouldn't go on a diet then immediately sit in a cake shop for hours watching everyone else eating cake..... If you absolutely must go, drive, be on antibiotics, leave early, do whatever, but do not drink that first drink. Protect your sobriety at all costs. Do not think, I'll just have one. You know where it leads. People who say you're boring probably have a similar issue with drinking to you. They don't like you rocking the boat as it may force them to examine their own relationship with alcohol....

[fairydustandpixies]

May I join you? On day 2.
Was sober for 6 months last year then started drinking again following children leaving home and relocating.
Was very stressful and fell back into my old habits.
I can stop every now and then for a week or two but then I'm back to square one.
I also can't moderate.
Sigh...just wish I could stick to not drinking.

[ElsaCragg]

rupertpenryswife thank you for the encouraging words. I'll be dipping in and out of the thread, not always posting, but very much taking on board everyone's comments and sending you all virtual support

[AlwaysSunshine81]

Thank you ladies! I really want to do this x

[rupertpenryswife]

It has honestly been one of the best things I have done. I think,this is because I have decided I needed to stop rather than moderate, I constantly felt like a failure which affected my whole life. That cloud has gone, no more anxiety and feelings of regret.

It sounds corny, but I feel like I am actually living my life and am present in it.

It is only looking back now I can see how bad I had got but, that is over and done if I even consider alcohol I think through those times. I really wish I had stopped years ago nothing good ever came of it, not the way I drank.

We have got this, we can support each other.

[Candleabra]

Also the best thing I've ever done. I've realised everything I've done since i was 16 has been built around drinking. It happens gradually of course, but it's so scary. It's everywhere. Good luck to everyone, you can do this.

[rupertpenryswife]

Afternoon all just checking in to see how everyone is doing? Was thinking if starting a new thread as I sort of highjacked this one. What do you think?

A thread to share ideas and thoughts, off load and just support each other as we are all well placed to.

[user1483387154]

well I truly messed up last night. this is so hard. I feel so ashamed of myself. I'm back on focus but can't believe I didn't even make a week.
I can't trust myself to be around people who are drinking so I need to avoid those social situations for a while.

[Biggeorge1985]

Debated joining this thread for a while. Today is my day 1. My drinking has got worse over the last year as my husband started working away. He’s not a big drinker so I curbed my drinking before he worked away. Now I’m on a free for all! I drink over a bottle of wine every night and often take a couple of swigs of Disarano during the course of an evening. My dad is an alcoholic so obviously I worry. I find myself doing things that I know my dad did when I lived at home- Slugging wine in the kitchen then quickly refilling my glass and obviously taking swigs of higher percentage alcohol in secret.
Last night I vomited and wrote ‘sober me’ a letter from ‘drunk me’ pleading and begging with ‘sober me’ to stop drinking. It was really upsetting to hear the desperation in my own voice. Feel a mixture of emotions this morning- angry, sad, irritated, disappointed...but also strong and determined. Usually I would slob about the house after a night like last night but my son and I are going for a long walk this morning with our dogs and then going to the gym. I’m going to fight this with everything I’ve got.

[user1483387154]

good luck biggeorge. hope you are doing ok

[rupertpenryswife]

Welcome biggeorge stay with us, you can do this, it sounds like you need to. I attempted to stop more times than I care to admit, for me it was my children who made me stop not because they said anything but, because I am setting an awful example, I could die because of something I chose to do, they need protecting and I couldn't do it whilst drinking.

It is really difficult at times but once I decided to stop rather than moderate it became easier. I am just over 3 weeks sober and it's great.

User I think that you tried too much too early in your sobriety, I would have done exactly the same as you that early on, again don't beat yourself up reset and go again. Is your plan to stop or moderate?

[Biggeorge1985]

Thank you to you both for your replies. The ‘witching hour’ has started so starting to feel tempted to go out and buy wine but keep telling myself to be strong. I know I’ll feel great tomorrow by not drinking tonight.

[Biggeorge1985]

Thank you for your words. 3 weeks is an amazing achievement. My children are definitely a reason for stopping drinking too. Sick of lying in bed for hours at the weekend not doing anything with them coz I feel crappy.

[user1483387154]

I want to stop as moderating doesn't work for me. I can't just have 1 or 2 drinks
Today I'm pleased to have stayed sober. I was with the same people as yesterday and in the same place but I stuck to water and cordial.
a few snarky comments but I ignored and stayed resolute .
we done everyone who managed a clean day

[user1483387154]

*well done

[Biggeorge1985]

Well done! It’s so annoying when people have to comment when you aren’t drinking alcohol. When did drinking change from socially acceptable to almost socially ‘expected’??!

[rupertpenryswife]

I was reading an article about this, how you are viewed differently if you don't drink, people ask why and what's wrong. If you don't smoke no asks why you are not smoking. What's the difference they are both a poison.

I can say from experience just a few days of not drinking makes you feel so positive. For me I am considering stopping my anti depressants that I have been on for years as don't think I need them anymore.I have said it before and will say it again, really rate Allen Carr the easy way for women to stop drinking, I have read loads and this is the one that has got me this far. I listen it on audiobook and it really makes sense. Here is to another successful sober day tomorrow.

[user1483387154]

good luck to all today. we can do this!