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Alcohol support

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Original poster

This is it, my day 1

355 replies

Stopthisshit · 14/07/2019 18:57

I drink too much
I need to stop
This is my day 1
Join me

OP posts:
Original poster
Stopthisshit · 17/07/2019 17:18

Well done okpedro, I am same feeling low today and had a real wobble about 3 this afternoon. No idea why as I never drink in the day.

Just keep focusing on what we have achieved

OP posts:
Candleabra · 17/07/2019 17:48

Hi @soberken the kids are young teenagers so they were well aware of me drinking. I wasn't hugely out of control though and had cut down massively over the last few years. But the stop/start was exhausting. I think, for me, the catalyst to stop completely was after a lovely but boozy family party, late to bed, then had to get up early to cook a massive fry up. I felt sooo awful but had to keep a brave cheery face on lest anyone suspect I was massively hungover. That is no way to live.

So, the kids have noticed, and commented, on the lack of wine. And it shows how normalised alcohol is that even they have said 'oh go on mummy, it's Friday night'. And that scared me, I don't want them to have a bad relationship with alcohol as I have. My family definitely believe that anyone teetotal is very weird and to be avoided. My reward is that I am present for the kids physically (taxi service!) and also emotionally. I am much more even tempered. I don't want to miss these years with them whilst yearning for wine.

Candleabra · 17/07/2019 17:51

@Stopthisshit and @okpedro well done both of you, you're doing so well. Go and distract yourself and don't stop thinking about the positives already. You can do this.

OkPedro · 17/07/2019 20:30

Thanks Candlebra and stopthisshit
I’ve been very productive today. Me and the dc cleaned and decluttered their room.. I can’t believe how much I’ve let things slide.. Well I can as I’ve been living in a haze of drinking and hangovers
Day 4 tomorrow 🤞🏻

Original poster
Stopthisshit · 18/07/2019 09:35

Day 5 today and yes I agree, my house is a tip but have already started clearing the mess away. Feel good to get to end of the day and have achieved something

OP posts:
NewGrandad · 22/07/2019 08:44

Hope all your weekends went well and you were able to stay sober.

#LovingLifeAgain

Original poster
Stopthisshit · 22/07/2019 17:13

Hi thanks everyone for all your support. I am still here and still sober. I was ill over weekend so that made it easy as I couldn’t face alcohol. How’s everyone else doing

OP posts:
Alicatz66 · 25/07/2019 06:59

Can I join you please ? I know I have to stop drinking. I can't moderate. It was my birthday last week and literally everyone sent me cards joking about wine ... I just don't want to be that person anymore .... I did Dry January and felt great .
Day One here x

NewGrandad · 26/07/2019 12:48

@Alicatz66 if you did Dry January just do the same again. You've done it once you CAN do it again.

#LovingLifeAgain

rupertpenryswife · 26/07/2019 16:59

Hi everyone, I need to join please. Your stories have really hit a nerve with me, I am in awe at how long some of you have been sober.
Too much wine yesterday again, insulted my DH again, don't know why he puts up with it.

I need to stop I can't moderate and am so desperate to change.

rupertpenryswife · 29/07/2019 16:28

Hi is anyone still on this thread? I am day 4 today and feeling positive. Couple of party's at the weekend with free bars but stayed on soft drinks. Am listening to Alan Carr the women and drinking book, I can really relate to it. Don't want to get to confident as well know it can all fall apart again.

Any advice from the long term sober? I am still struggling with that thought, I have to though I can't moderate. Hope everyone is doing ok.

Bookaholic73 · 29/07/2019 16:34

Good luck OP, you can do it!
I was once where you are. I’m now 4 years sober.
I don’t know if I was an alcoholic, or just REALLY liked alcohol. Either way, I know I’m doing the right thing in being abstinent.

AlwaysSunshine81 · 31/07/2019 21:08

I want to join. I am drinking nearly every night. Have 3 girls ages 16, 12 and 4. My 2 eldest girls have flown to San Francisco today to see their dad for 3 weeks. Regardless of this I am struggling to cope with lovely evenings on my own when all I feel I look forward to is a glass or 2. Or more of wine.
I want to change this. I hate myself for doing this and I feel fat and horrible.
Arghh

ashtrayheart · 31/07/2019 21:13

2 years and 2 months here. Best thing I ever did.
OP are you ok?

rupertpenryswife · 31/07/2019 21:40

Hi I am day 6 today and feel good, not so lethargic and fat and I can get to the end of what I am watching. As I said previously I am listening to Alan Carr women and drinking, it makes sense and really resonated. I am under no illusions it could all change.

This is the longest I have been sober for a long time. Any tips for long term sobriety? I am tending to avoid alcohol replacements and attempting to eat well.

How is everyone else doing? OP how are things going?

ashtrayheart · 31/07/2019 22:06

For long term: look up rational recovery and learn addictive voice recognition technique.
Read everything you can get your hands on from people who have successfully got sober.
Do things that don't avoid alcohol with people who you don't normally drink with.
Celebrate every morning you wake up having not drunk the night before.
If you're on Facebook follow 'soberish' she posts some great links.
Sign up to the sober school online (the free stuff is fine).
Start noticing how western society is fed the lie that we need alcohol to celebrate, commiserate and everything in between. Do children manage to enjoy themselves without it? Smile
Keep busy. If you get cravings try things like urge surfing (google it), playing the tape forward (where you make your mind play through the whole event of having a drink to the next drink, to whatever negative consequences normally occur such as headache or forgetting what you've done etc).
If I can do it, so can you. Be a proud non-drinker !
Oh and the best thing I did was post to everyone on my Facebook list that I was an alcoholic and from this point on I was no longer drinking. Accountability really helped me.

ashtrayheart · 31/07/2019 22:07

That should say don't involve alcohol!

rupertpenryswife · 05/08/2019 06:44

Hi anyone still in this thread? I am day 11 today and feel really positive, I have negotiated 2 weekends now, done all my usual things that may have led to a drink and have not really wanted to drink.

I am still really worried I may start again as I just can't believe I can keep this going forever, I think I want to remain long term sober.

Have got rational recovery and naked mind so hope they may help.

sureitsgrand · 06/08/2019 14:51

Hi, I've just been scrolling through the alcohol type threads. I've been drinking too much since Christmas time. Every weekend night and a couple of week nights. There us always an excuse- it's Friday, it's Saturday, its Sunday, it's half way through the week,its book club, I'm cooking a nice meal,I'm in om my own and kids in bed early, I deserve it, I'm fat anyway, it's been a bad day, it's been a great day....you get the gist.

Went on a hen party at the weekend and drank non stop. Not drank since Sunday. I'm in pieces. I've had stomach ache, diarrhoea, feel depressed, sweating, anxious, tired, unable to sleep.

But this is it. I've got to get out of the cycle this time.

rupertpenryswife · 06/08/2019 18:10

I hear you, very similar to my story. I am day 12 today and feel really fed up it's my birthday tomorrow and I can't have a drink. I can't be trusted to moderate.

Up until today I have felt positive. If I had wine in now I would drink it but I can't. Highly recommend Alan Carrs women and drinking book, I have it on audiobook it's scary because it all makes sense.

Good luck maybe we can support beach other lots of people tend to drop if this threads as I have done previously when I have failed.

Candleabra · 06/08/2019 18:34

Hi, been absent from the thread - just returned from a two week holiday. No drink. I will be 11 months sober tomorrow. I can honestly say that the idea of doing a holiday with no alcohol was impossible this time last year. I didn't miss it (one slight pang on the first night when the carafes were ordered, but I missed the idea rather than the reality). I did so much more than usual on holiday; loads of watersports and sea swimming. Turns out hangovers make you very lazy. I have also put on no weight despite eating lots so it's the first holiday in years that I don't feel totally depressed coming home.

Anyway, hope my post isn't annoyingly upbeat. I just want to say that you can do it. You're not missing out, the pleasure of a drink is an illusion. You don't need it. It gets easier with time. Be kind to yourself and do lots of other nice things as a reward.

rupertpenryswife · 06/08/2019 18:43

Thanks candleabra that is amazing I really needed to hear that, 11 months is fantastic I really hope I can do that to.

I know what you mean about doing things you wouldn't normally do I have too, until today I felt great I just feel so down today. Did you bother with alcohol alternative drinks not really sure what to do for the best. Eating too much chocolate which does not help.

Candleabra · 06/08/2019 21:22

Hi @rupertpenryswife I think you've almost hit the difficult 3rd week when you haven't broken habits yet but the initial euphoria of stopping has worn off. Stick with it. Keep eating the chocolate, in the early days you need to do whatever it takes, one day at a time.

Re: alternative drinks, i made sure I had lots of nice treaty drinks to start with, posh cordials, tonics etc so it felt like a reward. I didn't go down the Becks blue route though, no alcohol substitutes, it would have been dangerous for me. I also never did stunt drinks (too risky). I mostly drink water if I'm out now, occasionally a coke of i fancy one, but it really doesn't bother me.

rupertpenryswife · 06/08/2019 22:38

I didn't even consider the 3 week thing, I am heading towards that. Well I had a box!! Of Jaffa cakes and a cup of tea. Thanks for your advice I am so desperate never to drink again it just seems impossible.

To be honest the thought of drinking now is horrible, it's funny because I didn't ever feel like this before could just keep drinking. I can now see I didn't even enjoy it, I just did it.

The positives far outweigh the negatives. I just hope I can get that feeling back. Hoping tomorrow is a better day, it's my birthday but I am going for a run first thing, something stopping drinking has enabled me to get back into.

Candleabra · 07/08/2019 08:14

Hey, happy birthday! Hope you enjoyed the run. Well done for getting through last night. You couldn't have given yourself a better birthday present.