This is it, my day 1

[Stopthisshit]

I drink too much
I need to stop
This is my day 1
Join me

[andadietcoke]

I'm on day 462. You've got this. And it's so worth it. My anxiety is a million times better, I LOVE Sunday mornings, I'm a nicer person, a better mother.

Read The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - it was like a switch flicking - I started it and never drank again.

Get on Instagram and find @unexpectedjoyof @sobergirlsociety and any of the other hundreds of sober insta accounts sharing their progress and celebrating sobriety and alcohol free alternatives do you don't get FOMO. If you're in Manchester or near Manchester then @beesoberMCR too...

On Facebook, Club Soda is a good place to start.

Apps - one year no beer, or I Am Sober are good.

[Stopthisshit]

Thanks I will look into all these. Need all the support I can get

[Stopthisshit]

462 days that’s amazing, well done

[summertime06]

Well done @Stopthisshit, I'm on day 2 as well although I know I don't have an issue during the week, so it's the weekend I'm worried about. I'm hoping that you might spur me on!!

I actually think that underneath it all, I've got a bit of depression, and I'm not sure how to deal with that, but hoping that resisting reaching for the wine will start to help my mood and I'll see where to go from there.

I feel that I've been really lucky so far that my drinking hasn't caused any major problems yet in my life and I have the feeling my luck is due to run out so I need to do something now before I completely mess things up. Like what if I got stopped by the police driving on a Saturday morning and was found to be over the limit (not impossible given the amount I can sometimes drink) or even worse cause an accident, that would be reported to my professional body and could affect my career. Or like DH getting totally fed up with my drinking and it affecting our relationship (I'm not actually sure why he hasn't made a bigger deal of it so far), or like me pushing my friends away because I'm a horrible drunk when we get a rare night out and often can't remember many of the conversations we've had.

I need to stop now because there's a real possibility I could really mess up my life if I continue drinking. I know that, I'm not stupid, but why am I finding it so hard to make the change?

[Stopthisshit]

Summer we can spur each other on. I am just totally fed up not doing what I want or need to do at weekends because I am hungover. Like I said I usually do ok during the week as I have work etc, but I am on holiday this week so would normally use that as an excuse to drink everyday.

I chose this week so by the weekend I can be on day 5 and already feel I have achieved. The weekend will be tough but we can do it.

I plan to buy nice chocolate, some nice flavoured water and to plan endless activities and if the going gets tough I will head to bed early.

[Stopthisshit]

The secret I think is to be kind to yourself. Previously I would try an unrealistic health kick. I will stop drinking, diet, get it etc etc but this time I am concentrating on the alcohol. I will worry about the rest later. It’s the alcohol stopping me doing the rest.

[Candleabra]

Good for you. I had my last alcoholic drink over 10 months ago. I feel so much better. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. Guard your sobriety ruthlessly.

I read some advice on here years ago about not picking up the first drink: "it may not be easy, but it is simple"

I still repeat that to myself some nights. Good luck, you've got this.

[Stopthisshit]

Thankyou candle. I think that will be my secret weapon. Not having the first.

Congratulation 10 months is amazing

[andadietcoke]

Yep - you're right about one thing at a time @Stopthisshit - for the first 90 days do whatever you need to do. I ate a lot of crap, sugary drinks etc, and put 1.5 stone on. When I switched to Slimming World in the August I lost 10lbs in a week. Losing weight is easier when you're not drinking, so sort your head out to not drink first and deal with everything else later. Drink lots, especially in the first few days, and get some early nights (and enjoy the better quality sleep!).

[NewGrandad]

@Stopthisshit Thanks for your comments. And yes, committing to a long term goal is what is doing it for me. I've seen it in everyday life as well. If I say "I'll give it a go" or "I'll see what I can do" I'm more likely to give up or get bored with a project. However if I decide I'm going to actually do something the failure rate doesn't quite equal zero but it gets closer to it.

Be true to yourself. Commit, follow through and be selfish.

Good luck.

#LovingLifeAgain

[Stopthisshit]

Long term goal is the only way to go
Day 3 is nearly over
Today was tough, not sure why as I often do 3,4,5 days with no alcohol. But today has been a drag. Started with another night of poor sleep. I then spent hours on beach with the kids. Came home and usually at this point I have wine while making dinner. A reward.
But tonight no wine.

We are all fed and tucked up in bed but it was a challenge

I think I am obsessing too much

[Candleabra]

Well done. Breaking habits is key. Focus on the positives from today & think of how good you'll feel in the morning.

[Stopthisshit]

Positives today
Spending amazing time with the kids
And making it to bed sober
Although my kids are moaning that they are in bed early
Positive is that I am sober enough to hear the moans

[Candleabra]

Have you got a sober app you can tick the days off. It also works out how much money and how many calories you've saved? Adds to the sense of achievement, I found it very helpful.
I used the one from dry January, but there are loads. Just a thought.

[Candleabra]

Lovely positives. I found being completely present on nice days out like that a revelation. I was often guilty of clock watching til wine o'clock before.

[Stopthisshit]

I haven’t quite downloaded the app but think I will.
I am not sure why today was so hard as I have been sober more days than 2. I think it may be a bit like a diet. As soon as I mention diet I crave chocolate. I think I may be over thinking it.

Any advice is much appreciated on how to normalise being sober

[Candleabra]

Well I can only speak for myself, but I found it helpful to have a zero tolerance policy one day at a time. Don't think about the future just know that for today you won't be drinking.
I also still think of the bad things, the blackouts, embarassing myself in public, waking up not remembering last night, awful anxiety, spending whole mornings throwing up, making extravagent promises to the kids then letting them down the next day.... I could go on and on.
I think of this (and more) when I'm feeling seduced by the myth of the (just one) cold glass, the glamorous lifestyle. It's all an illusion and I know (for me) it will end up with me glued to the toilet the next morning. Not very glamorous!

[Stopthisshit]

That’s what I am trying to focus on. Not the effects of the alcohol but rather the after

[Stopthisshit]

Today I took my kids to beach. We walked,we talked, we splashed.

Had I drunk wine last night these 3 wonderful things would not have happened

[Candleabra]

I found the first of the brave babes threads incredibly helpful for tough talking (but kind) advice and practical support. It's quite inspiring, I've read it loads of times! (Hope the link works)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/974957-me-and-alcohol-have-ruined-my-family?pg=1&order=

[summertime06]

I'm pleased to have reached Day 3 with you. Although I'm finding it easy enough at the minute because I'm working and am busy, I am worried about the weekend. I keep telling myself that not having a drink when you really want one is only going to cause you a couple of hours of feeling a bit bored/down etc. But if I did have one which all too often leads to too many, the result is probably going to be a whole day of feeling even worse, and possibly consequences which will last even longer than that, like feeling embarrassed for posting rubbish on social media or having conversations I don't remember.

I just need to find a way of remembering that when I really want to reach for the wine.

[soberken]

I'm in! I am so done with booze. I have had enough.

I've read This Naked Mind, Alcohol Explained, Girl Walks Out of a Bar (mind blowing) and the Sober Diaries.

@Candleabra - well done. Can I ask you a question, you don't have to answer but you do your kids remember negatively you drinking?

[Stopthisshit]

Day 4 everyone. Feeling quite down today but I know that’s just the alcohol clearing out. Starting to worry about the impact having a clear mind might have on my view of my own life, but if I can overcome the alcohol, I can fix the rest

[NewGrandad]

Well done @Stopthisshit. Day 4 is a great achievement. be proud.

[OkPedro]

Well done stopthisshit on day 4 without alcohol 😀 Sorry you’re feeling down today
I’m on day 3, by now I would have had three bottles of wine over Monday and Tuesday. I don’t drink in the day or evening but once my dc are in bed I can easily drink two bottles 😩
I’m over weight, my face is bloated and flushed all the time. I’ve gone through a lot of concealer the last few months!
I can’t say I feel good though. I’m irritable and depressed BUT it’s better than being hungover and full of anxiety.
I’m nervous about the weekend however as my children will be with their Dad.
I might just sleep the weekend away, not ideal I know.