This is it, my day 1

[Stopthisshit]

I drink too much
I need to stop
This is my day 1
Join me

Well I survived Xmas day so well and enjoyed being sober so much, survived the stress of being with family and then got home, was so happy to be home, relaxed and ... had 3 drinks.
I’ve found this in the past - i steel myself for a difficult occasion, manage it and then bomb when in theory it gets easier.
So tomorrow is back to day 1 for me but I am really determined to do this.
Well done Big George - I nee to stick at this now and forge some new neural pathways ...

@Ontheshingle don’t worry, you will get there. If you are seeing a pattern, is there something you can do to disrupt it if you see it happening again? Is there some reason why when it gets easier, it gets harder, if you see what I mean?

Well done everyone, some impressive results there.

@Ontheshingle, dust yourself off and please don't be disheartened. If you have recognised your triggers, then you will be better placed to identify them in future and nip them in the bud. Like you say, you are working at forming new habits. Practice makes perfect.

@Ontheshingle - that was me yesterday. Made it until 2pm on the nosecco but succumbed to a glass of red (well 3) over lunch

Didn’t sleep as well as night before

Day 1 for me then today and have spent 8 loud hours at my Mum’s with 11 of us - but not had 1 drink. DH just asked me if I wanted one pouring and I said no, and I really didn’t

Going to listen to some more podcasts now to keep my mind on the reasons for not drinking

Right Jackstini- lets do this together ! We can!

And thanks standupstraight and elsacragg for your encouragement. X

Love your attitudes @Ontheshingle @jackstini - keep going! There can't be a reformed drinker out there who didn't have loads of false starts at the beginning, the main thing is getting back on it again.

I survived dry Christmas with my family but it's the inlaws next and that will be a bigger challenge.

I hadn't thought of podcasts @jackstini - will look some up while I'm pretending to work today.

Just woke up after another long lie in! Feeling good because I didn’t drink last night. Apart from my husband, I haven’t told anyone else about not drinking. My husband works away so I only really have nights out when he is home. Last night when my friends asked if I was having a drink, I just casually said ‘well, I haven’t had alcohol in about 3 months so just trying to continue as long as I can.’ My friends were really interested and said they have been discussing going AF for a year because they realise they are drinking too much.
It’s surprising the reaction you get when you tell people.
I have kept it quiet because I thought some people might take the mickey or that I would be railroaded into drinking....and I suppose if I relapsed at any stage people might smugly think ‘ah she couldn’t do it’. I find it easier to say ‘oh I’m not drinking at the moment’ rather than saying ‘I’ve quit for good’. In a way, this undermines sobriety I suppose but nonetheless, it seems a more casual thing to say and of the few people I’ve told (even my husband), it seems to invite less intrusive questions.

In laws today for me too.
I’ve noticed that these tough situations seem manageable whereas I drink when the tension seems gone and I can relax. Something to look out for when we get home tomorrow but in the meantime, there is today, and I’m going to take it hour by hour. Thinking of you Jackstini.

Off for a run now.

Good luck with the in-laws growingboys.

Agree @Biggeorge1985 I am not saying 'for ever' as A) I'm not sure it will be and B) it feels a bit aggressive/challenging to say that. I used to hate people who gave up as they made me question myself, so think I shall adopt the softly softly approach.

Well done running @OnTheShingle - running is my favourite thing to do but am at work today so might go tomorrow. Inlaws on Sunday. My MIL is always slightly tut tut about me (I'm slightly wilder than the housewife she'd have chosen for her son) so she might be impressed at the new me. We'll see...

How's everyone doing?

Just got back from a friend's drinks party and not had one drink!

It's such a different feeling coming home safe and sober and knowing no hangover tomorrow!

Day 3 - done

Well done @jackstini - there is nothing like coming home sober from a party. You feel so proud of yourself!

I did that for the first time at my work Christmas party a week ago and burst with pride! Especially the next morning when all my work friends were texting about how hungover they were.

Still AF and today is day 17 I think. Off to the in-laws today which will be a challenge but I've got Allen Carr's book to keep me going.

I think once dry Jan starts it will be a lot easier. I hope so - last night I was feeling sad about an amazingly good bottle of wine someone gave me for Christmas that I may never drink. Really wavering about it.

Anyway, I didn't drink so onwards.

Thanks for the app rec @ElsaCragg - will check that one out.

Hey guys
Can I join you? My day 1 today

I’ll sign up today. I have a bedside cabinet of all the books mentioned in this thread. I’ve stopped 2 or 3 times before, and then slip back into ‘moderating’ at about the 6 week mark. I’m always back to full on boozing by 3 -4 months after stopping.
I know moderating doesn’t work. I’m late forties, And I found Christmas so exhausting, trying to cater for 10-12 people every day. I was miserable throughout. Because I was hungover/ waiting for the 1st drink/ drinking the whole time.
I’ve always loved Christmas, but now that we have 4 kids, and elderly parents who always come to ours, our home is seen as Christmas HQ, and I’m run ragged serving every one.
So I’m stopping again. I deserve better than being this depressed lump that I am at the moment. It’s the getting the kids to bed, and rewarding myself with a bottle of wine that is doing me in- stealing my health and my good humour.
Hello to all my fellow beginners- hopefully we’ll get to know and support each other well!!

Well done @jackstini and @Growingboys.

And welcome to @TreesSandSea and @NellNorth, there is plenty of support on here, best wishes on your sober journey.

Still here and happy to wake up without any trace of a hangover. This is the first day we haven’t had to travel to family since Xmas day and I’m kind of collapsing now that I can.
Well done Jackstini and growing up boys.”, and welcome trees sand sea and nellnorth. So many of this issues you mention are familiar and this is a good place for support I am finding. Day 3 for me.

Please could someone help me with a mumsnet thing? When you address another person by their user name is there a easy to do it? My phone keeps correcting names so they are spelt wrong. Many thanks in advance.

I had an interesting realisation. The days when I've not drunk have been when I have really been able to keep in mind how anxious I am. When I forget that, was when I lapsed -and since then I've been focussing on knowing how anxious I can be. It's helping so far. Anybody else spotting any triggers for them?

@Ontheshingle, that is why I'm finding the Annie Grace challenge so useful. You are encouraged to examine your feelings and be more mindful.

In answer to your Mumsnet question, if you type @ then the start of a username, a list pops up to help you select from those on the thread.

Thanks @ElsaCragg (it works!)
I had a go with Annie grace and for some reason it wasn’t for me. I’d like to read her book tho. How many days are you AF now?

Welcome @nellnorth and @TreesSandSea

I tried to sign up to Annie Grace and got an annoying email saying wait til 1 Jan and pay to do Dry January Live with me, or you can wait til 1 Feb for the regular one. So I've put her to one side for now.

I tried listening to some sober podcasts in the bath yesterday - some very annoying woman called Janey Lee something or other. She had a couple of decent guests but seemed to think her opinion was more interesting and kept cutting into them which I thought was v unprofessional and irritating!

I've found the Allen Carr book nicer to read than the Jason Vale one - I prefer AC's tone.

I'm at my inlaws tonight and they're on the gin and tonics. I bought some Belvoir Juniper and something fizzy drink but my god it's disgusting, bring back fizzy elderflower!

Hoping to go for a run tomorrow morning to give me a buzz. But tonight feels like a challenge!

Keep going all! (Talking to myself as well here...)

Missed my run today as not feeling good but hitting the san pellegrino now - once this bit of the evening is over, it’s ok but this is the witching hour for me. Tough when others around you are drinking @Growingboys. My DH has also cut down a great deal which is making life easier for me and better for us both. We really want to model a good relationship with alcohol to our teenagers.

Hi @TreesSandSea and @NellNorth and everyone else. Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing. @jackstini isn’t that the best feeling ever? I love coming home from a night out, tired but clear headed, then hot shower, clean sheets and good sleep. It sure beats waking up with a raging thirst at 3am, knocking back nurofen and then lying awake from 5am because the brain hasn’t received the message that the body desperately requires sleep to get over the hangover.

@NellNorth a lot of what you wrote resonates with me. There is something crazy about rewarding ourselves with something that makes us feel so bad. But that’s what we’re sold, particularly women - a reward for all that hard work we do, and an escape from the daily grind. I am coming up to a year AF now and I know for certain that a real reward for me is time alone, time to exercise, good sleep: looking after myself in a real and meaningful way. I know that wine was taking much more than it was giving.

Another good blog for those looking for inspiration is unpickledblog.com/ She’s American and she writes well, and examines the subject from lots of different angles. There’s good advice, as well as extensive lists of other resources.

Agree @StandUpStraight ! I felt so good this morning

Had all in-laws here today - drank rhubarb & cardamom soda then a bottle of no alcohol sparkling wine.

Easily kept on top of all the food and clearing up and no one even noticed I wasn't drinking!

Day 4 all good
Not much going on tomorrow so not worried but due at a big party NYE where I would usually be well known as one of the hardest drinkers...

Welcome to Trees and Nell - you've got this!!