This is it, my day 1

[Stopthisshit]

I drink too much
I need to stop
This is my day 1
Join me

Thank you for those kind words StandUpStraight. You're right, alcohol is alcohol, no matter how pretty the package.

Well done for turning things around jackstini. It would have been too easy to throw in the towel.

jackstini I think I may have posted this up thread at some point but you could give lotta D a try. Her blog is pretty honest and she tried a few times - her first post is her getting upset with herself for caving after 3.5 weeks off. livingwithoutalcohol.blogspot.com/p/month-1.html

I second Lotta Dann - she was the first sober blog I found and I stopped that day for over three months. That time I broke on Xmas evening - so really determined not to again this year! I’ve been gradually drinking less over the years and the sober bits have been more frequent but I’m so fed up with the amount of time I spend thinkjng about not drinking. I’m immediately more creative when I stop - like I have more energy.
I’m sitting by the fire with a cup of tea reading the unexpected joy of being sober by Catherine gray now- it’s excellent and inspiring.
Thanks standupstraight- the problem I have is that I love everything about champagne- the bubbles, the dryness, the conviviality, the celebration. But you’re right - it’s the effect we are probably all chasing.

I can really recommend the Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace, a free online programme that takes you through 30 days with really helpful daily videos and support, she really speaks from the heart and the onlyine support is really great. I did it in Sept and am planning another 30 days as my moderation is showing a few little tell tale signs of slippage. She also wrote This Naked Mind. Allen Carr is godd butt Annie Grace is better. Once you get past the first week it gets easier

Thank you @Ontheshingle & @Standupstraight - I will try that one

You're right @Elsa, it would have been so easy to go further. Same today - 1 glass of prosecco put in my hand as soon as I got to my Dad's - followed only by Nosecco and now firmly gripping bottle of water. I will not drink any more alcohol tonight I am positive

Well done on keeping to one drink Jackstini. I hope the rest of the night goes ok.
My DH has not had anything to drink tonight so it’s been easy. I’m all geared up for tomorrow - will message from the bathroom at my parents’ house tomorrow! Good luck everyone over Xmas. I am really appreciating this support.

Hello all. Day 13 today and I am pleased I didn't succumb at lunch as we had a big family pub lunch - my favourite activity.

Tomorrow will be the real challenge though - massive family Christmas at massive house where the drink will be top quality and everyone (bar me, I hope), will be ON IT.

@ElsaCragg thank you for all your words of wisdom. Very much appreciated. I thought of you saying what a powerful feeling it is not be drinking when everyone else around you is, and that helped me turn the situation into a positive one.

@jackstini don't worry about one slip. Absent-mindedness isn't an issue - it wasn't you choosing to drink consciously. Everyone who writes a quit lit memoir has loads of false starts behind true.

Good luck everyone - most testing time of the year to try to be AF, go us!

@Ontheshingle in the exact same as you - I don't drink that much but am tired of how much time I spend thinking about not drinking/trying to moderate myself. It's exhausting!

I reckon it must be so much easier not to drink, full stop.

@NoMorePoliticsPlease can you join Annie Grace midway through? Tomorrow will hopefully be my day 14 - can I join Annie Grace and say I've done 13 already or have I missed the boat do you reckon?

Another resource I heard a lot about but never tried is this one: www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/ You sign up and get daily emails.

Well done @Growingboys for today and for being at the 2 week mark tomorrow. I was at a similar point when I stopped. I didn’t have a rock bottom. I was just so bored of endless internal chatter re moderation and very very bad at it. I really think stopping is easier. It’s freeing. My family Christmas is generally held in a wine region and I have a relative who is in the wine industry, so lots of v expensive wines. But one glass screws up my sleep and my energy and my equilibrium. And one glass will become two, and then I just check out, particularly where the kids are concerned. So much easier to not have the one glass. I find playing the tape forward immensely helpful. I play it forward to the clear headed waking up in the morning, first cup of tea, feeling of possibility. Never gets old.

Now, if my kids would just go to sleep so Father Christmas could also go to sleep, that would be amazing.

Ugh woke up far too early (5.29) but at least without a pounding head. Also when I couldn't sleep I counted my AF days and realise TODAY is day 13, not yesterday.

Still, I don't need to reach for the paracetamol, so that's a plus.

Thanks for the inspo @StandUpStraight This year I have been given two amazing bottles of wine (by different people) and I am a tiny bit sad at the thought of not drinking them. Will come back here to stay strong.

Happy Christmas all! I'm hoping I get out for a long walk this afternoon. We are deep in the country (we live in London) so I want to make the most of it and blow all the cobwebs away.

Merry Christmas everyone .

@Growingboys, if you get chance, I can recommend the Daylio app. It's a free mood tracker that I have found really useful. It has a habit tracker where I count my AF days. Have a great day .

Happy Christmas everyone. Hope you’re all doing ok and playing the tape forward. 🙂

Happy Christmas!
I managed not to drink all day and am now feeling alert, alive and not exhausted. I can’t remember feeli like this on Xmas day.
I hope everyone is having a lovely day.

@Ontheshingle that’s great, you must feel so good about that. Well done! You’ll feel good on Boxing Day too, so win win. I’m exhausted even though I didn’t drink. Something to do with 9 year old who wouldn’t sleep last night and was then up at 5am, I think... But I remind myself that if I had had anything to drink, I’d be feeling significantly worse.

Thankyou standupstraight - big children here now (two teenagers and a 12 year old) so it’s us waking them up. But then they are up in the evening and I feel so much better that they don’t see me drinking. I hope you have a relaxing evening and get a good night’s sleep.

That's great to hear @Ontheshingle. I had so much more energy today than previous years. I did a huge amount of washing up, by choice, and was so glad to get it out of the way whilst the family enjoyed watching TV. I think my general mood is improving too, an unexpected bonus.

Hello all! I've made it home after Christmas and am still AF and rather proud of myself! The best bit is waking up feeling refreshed (and looking at my husband's alcohol-weary face!) and feeling proud that I managed another day.

Agree @ElsaCragg re improving mood. I hadn't expected that but it's true.

Still a bit sad about the amazing gin and wine I've been given this year that I won't drink. So telling myself I'm not giving up for ever, just for as long as I want. Day 14 today and definitely won't drink today as we're home and I'm looking forward to a nice bath and early night in my own bed, reading my Christmas books.

Great news @Growingboys. I can also vouch for improving mood (though am in foul mood today but that’s because of a lot of other really unpleasant stuff going on and my low tolerance for English winter). I am definitely on the whole a lot less snippy with the kids though.

The forever question is interesting. People ask me if I’ve given up forever. I don’t know, but I think so. I don’t know what it would add to my life. I kind of fell into being AF. I did 30 days, then I thought I’d do 100 days because I’d read that you really start to see benefits then, then I did 6 months, then I said I’d get to a year...and now I am 2 weeks away from that year with no desire to drink again. But if I’d started out saying “never again” would I be where I am now? Not sure.

Did you see benefits after 100 days StandUp? I’ve done 30, but not made the next leap.

I really did. I felt pretty great after 100 days. I think that’s really when I started to feel a lowering of anxiety, and also, not drinking itself got a lot easier because I was just well and truly out of the habit and not experiencing cravings.

Hi all- I’m on day 95 AF. Pleased I didn’t drink yesterday but it was a struggle. I was driving so I couldn’t really drink anyway but all day I was contemplating just one glass of wine. When my cousins started talking nonsense at the end of the night (which was funny) I was glad I was sober. I’m just irritated with myself for thinking about it most of the day yesterday. Going to friend’s house tonight and I’m now in the bath finding myself contemplating a glass of wine later. I was drinking so much previously- every single day and I don’t want to go back there ever. I keep reading notes to myself when I was drunk which begged my sober self to stop drinking. I hate the fact that at 95 days sober I have this annoying voice trying to reason with me that it would be okay to just drink tonight. Not sure how to handle it.
Any advice?

Hey BigGeorge well done on your 95 days. It’s not at all surprising that you’re getting the wine witch whispering in your ear right now. Christmas is so strongly associated with indulging ourselves and very specifically with using booze for fun/survival/relaxation. You did super well to resist.

I probably sound like a broken record but my best advice is to imagine you have the one glass and then play the tape forward. If you were drinking daily will you be able to stop at one? If you do stop at one will that mean you have another tomorrow? How will you sleep, how will you feel about yourself tomorrow? Maybe ask what it is you are craving when you crave a drink, because it can’t be the alcohol itself after 95 days off it. If it is a bit of luxury or self indulgence, is there something else that will do? Can you reframe it as AF = looking after yourself and taking care of your body?

@StandUpStraight thank you! This was exactly the advice I needed. You’re right, I’m not craving the alcohol- it’s more the association with Christmas. You mentioned sleep- that has been amazing and I’ve been sleeping in till 10:30am since it’s the holidays! So lazy but so amazing considering the broken sleep I used to have and the terrible insomnia at 3am.
I think I also needed a reminder of how well I’m doing. I’ve also been out for an 8k run today. I could never do that hungover.
Thank you so much - I will not drink with you tonight! X

@Biggeorge1985 that is so cool, and you really are doing brilliantly. An 8k run is also fantastic. I used to spend all this time and effort trying to exercise and eat healthily while utterly failing to see the unhealthiness of all the wine, or how it was holding my fitness back. Now I exercise and eat healthily and I actually feel (and see) the benefits of that effort. I hope you sleep really well tonight. If you do see 3am, it won’t be because of the wine witch.