Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

[Frouby]

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

I definitely don’t want that for my tea Madame but nice work catching your own tea.
Longest he’ll probably be fine. You’ve reminded me I need to chase my handyman, Dave. My mate’s nicked him recently- he basically does the rounds of all of us, but he’s mine. I found him first!
Still no sign of DS. He may have a very long walk home, mind.
I’m on the bring of a trip to the shop....

Hello can I check in here? Still recovering from Friday night and realising I need to cut down (really don’t want to have to stop completely).

Welcome bigbus and doctor 🙂

NC4, I’ve lost track of the number of times I was called the C word by my Ds when he was that age. He also locked me out of my own house and all sorts of other things. He is fine now, 5 years later, but it took months of counselling. And some great big boundaries/ threats, exhausting. There’s a thread in teenagers about holding onto the end of the rope, which I read sometimes, they're a nice bunch (the posters on the thread, not their teenagers 😂)

Woo hoo at the sea bass Madame, I love sea bass!

I’m AF again today and pretending the drinking and pizza and Thai food and cocktails didn’t happen this weekend, lovely as they all were.

Evening all.

nc hugs lovely. Teenagers can be vile. I have older nieces and nephews. My particularly lovely nephew who is now 20, working full time in a trade earning 30k a year with his own flat and girlfriend was a little shite at 15/16. He was so bad he pushed his heavily pg mum and caused an emergency c section. That was a real low point.

Him and his mum are now incredibly close, he's a lovely lad and grew up seemingly overnight. But it's so difficult when you are in the middle of it.

Had a lovely weekend. Fab night last night, really enjoyed a nice, low key night. My ds, who I lovingly breastfed to 18 months, who is very much a mummy's boy, who I have only ever left twice overnight and 1 of those was my wedding night, declared he didn't miss me at all, can nannan look after him again and can it be for 5 nights. Sigh.

Ungrateful little shit.

Fatclub is a write off tomorrow. Beer on Friday, too much beer and tapas yesterday, sarnie and crisp for lunch followed by McDonald's for dinner. Bloody hate McDonald's but everyone else loves it as a treat so I went along with it. Such a waste of syns.

Currently in bed, would rather be downstairs watching LOD but as its our actual anniversary today I thought I better show willing.

madame lovely looking fish. There is something so primal about growing or catching your own food. I can't wait to start picking stuff from the allotment again. Planted a few things out this afternoon, got quite a lot still growing on in the polytunnel but think am going to try and get everything in its proper place this week, or at least potted on a bit.

Welcome bigbus and doctor. All welcome here. I hope you find it some support.

Going to have to get a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Got bloody impetigo on my chin ffs and it seems to be spreading. Am 41, no one else has it, just me. Had either a spot or a bite earlier in the week that was sore, then really sore, now I have lovely blisters with attractive looking yellow scabs 🤢🤮😷. Guinea pig cream is obviously not an effective treatment for adult impetigo. Just in case anyone else succumbs (it is highly contagious so no one come too close). Don't use Guinea pig cream on it. You're welcome.

AF tonight, hopefully pee off the 4lb I seem to have put on overnight ready for fatclub tomorrow. 😁

frouby when I was a kid I took to using some cream that came from the vet (for ponies in this case) on my face. Some kind of crazy stuff for breaking down big scabs, god knows what it was
My DH was complaining about a shitty piece of cake he had to eat through circumstance the other day. It is annoying when you eat crap you don't even want. Glad you had a good time over the weekend though
Nice sea bass Madame I like fish but don't cook it much, it's not super difficult to get here but I do have to go out of my way a bit which means it doesn't happen often.
So sorry about the situation with your son NC
I worried about how to respond to the email from my son's school all weekend but my resulting polite but pointed two liner has produced a completely different and much more satisfying response so that's something.

leaving it could have been Camrosa maybe? My pony medical kit is full of stuff like that. I usually blast me and the kids with pony fly spray in the summer. And used to use mane and tail detangling spray on dds hair as well. And vetwrap is brilliant for strapping dhs dodgy ankle up.

Glad you got a response from school. I hate having to contact dds for anything.

Thanks for all the welcomes. I think I still have a hangover from Friday - I’m too old for this now! And what bothered me the most is that before hand I made a plan to stop drinking at a certain tome but the wine monster woke up and I drank so much more than I wanted to. I really need to have a serious think about how much I drink. Trying to be AF until Wednesday. I know I’ll feel better for it but tonight is a challenge because I don’t work Tuesdays so usually use that as an excuse. It’s great to find this thread where everyone is so non-judgemental.

welcome bigbus do you have a plan for the evening? It's hard using will power alone. I'm stuck at home in the evening due to young kids and if I open a bottle of wine I'll just drink the whole thing. I borrowed a Fire Stick thing for the week so I could distract myself with TV but there was a plug missing which give me The Rage. I manged not to crack but only just.
Frouby mane and tail detangling spray, god I'd forgotten about that. That could be put to good use in my house. Me and my eldest have pain-in-the-arse hair.

Bigbus, good luck being AF tonight. We all know what it’s like to drink wine because Wednesday 😂

For me, it works to remove all wine from the house, pour myself a huge jug of water with ice and cut up lemon and take to my bed with books and trash telly. As long as I do that I know I won’t drink as it involves going to the garage and getting it and it’ll be warm anyway and I can’t drink warm wine. But you have to do whatever works for you, obviously.

AF today for me, am contemplating a trip to a big Boots to buy beauty products. I feel happy and my eyes are white again, as is my face, having recovered from the weekend.

NC4, did DS come home? I hope so, or that you at least know where he is.

Welcome Bigbus and Doctor. You've come to the right place.

I admit I did feel better going to bed last night after an AF evening. But tonight MIL is here so I will pour her a glass and then my willpower goes out of the window. Tuesdays are generally ok unless there's drinking going on at woodcraft folk, and Thursdays are ok because DH is out. Wednesdays ought to be easier than they are but DH works from home and often opens a bottle "to breathe" and i succumb. Or it becomes my day for going out with a friend, which is a possibility this week. Next week I am on holiday so have no chance but perhaps I will have a pact with DH that we stick to one bottle between us. Am meeting some old friends but for a day out with the kids rather than a piss up so that's good.

Handyman texted to say he was just setting off 20 mins after his 8:30-9 window closed, so I told him to come another time as it had got late and I couldn't be arsed. But adds to my worry I was a bit rash not trying to find someone through recommendations.

NC4 How are you today? Did DS come home in the end? I hope you are OK.
Frouby I'm glad you had such a nice break, even if you had to force down a Macdonald's. I hope you manage to lose the 4lbs with normal bodily functions before fat club tonight.
LeavingA Sometimes a brief to the point message works wonders! And fish, I'd eat just fish and veg if I had the choice, sadly DS (and DP although he won't admit it) both enjoy meat too much for that to be possible.
Water it sounds like you had a brilliant weekend, I'm sure you won't have a problem going back to AF and your diet this week.
Bigbus Good luck with the planned AF. As Leaving says it is best to have a plan as willpower sometimes doesn't suffice. Especially if you have a DP who likes a drink. I'd try and keep busy, go for a walk, clean a few cupboards. One advantage of being sober is that you generally have time to do things you put off otherwise!
I intend being AF until Thursday. With the light evenings it is perfect to go out for a run or bike ride, or do the gardening, so the temptation to have a drink is less of an issue than on the cold, dark winter evenings.

Longest glad you feel better after being AF last night. It's not funny how an evening's drinking can result in the next day being a write off.
I hope you find a decent handyman. I'm very lucky with DP in that one of his strong points is being able to fix absolutely everything (properly), he has saved me quite a lot of money as I don't have to call out tradesmen now. They probably aren't quite so happy!

NC4, I hope your ds is home. 💐

Thanks everyone. Yes, he came home, angry and shouty at first but we made our peace eventually.
I drank far too much though and feel terrible about it. I have such a bad relationship with booze.
AF now till we go on holiday. Then after that I need to make much more of an effort. I may try a 30 day stretch or something.

Thanks for all the kind words everyone.

NC I was necking a half bottle of vodka an night (at least) and more at the weekend for almost the last 20yrs.

It's been 3 weeks af today and live is so good. It's my first grandson's first birthday today and we had his party yesterday. I can remember everything about it and am loving my Monday at work because of it.

I'm also finding my blog a great help. Just sitting down with one thought/topic in mind and typing. What i write just flows out of my fingers. It's very cathartic! The only editing I do is with my spelling.

It's also giving my wife an insight into my mind (a dangerous place but she wants to go there) as when i was drinking I was a closed book. I'm still very insular but the blog is helping and I would recommend it to anyone. You don't need anyone else to read it just get the thoughts down. if people read it and give feedback that's great but just writing and getting it out of your system is the important part.

Wishing you all as great a day as I'm looking forward to.

Hi everyone. Just been catching up with you all.

Frouby - glad you had a lovely weekend. Nice photo of you and your DH. Glad your DS didn’t miss you too much 😂

Waterandlemonjuice - your weekend sounds lovely too.

Flossie - selfish twatting men! They seem to be able to block all other things out sometimes! I think you definitely need to plan a nice girl friend day out and then just announce it to him as you waltz out of the door. I hope you enjoy your hols and your DD is ok.

NC4 - sorry to hear about your fraught weekend with DS. Teens are such a worry. They think they know everything and are invincible! My friend and I were talking the other day about how we used to worry about them sleeping through etc - oh how we long for those days! Hopefully your holiday will be a chance for re-bonding.

Waterandlemonjuice - your weekend sounds lovely

madameforest - I love sea bass and mackerel. How divine being so fresh. I normally buy frozen fish as we don’t have a decent fishmonger.

Dionysa - I’m impressed with your AF Sat!

Waves to everyone else and welcome to new grandad and big bus.

I haven’t been AF for ages now. I am so cross with myself. Why can’t I just stick to being AF in the week?! I really am going to try for a few nights AF this week as we are going on hols on Friday. Got the week off to a good start by starting a new exercise class today - Barre fitness - ballet based exercises. The instructor is a lithe young thing full of grace and elegance. Meanwhile I was more like Dawn French in the ballet sketch from French and Saunders if any of you remember it 😅 Still, it was a good workout!

Hi all - just been looking through the thread. I am far too reliant on wine when I'm stressed. I'm in my second year of uni, I run my own photography business and I'm single mum to three dc (2 teen boys and a preteen dd) and have gone through a horrible abusive break up (although with a lovely guy now) have a difficult relationship with my ex husband and went to an alcohol support group last year to try and identify my triggers etc. Bottom line is I like the warm fuzzy feeling but I know it's bad for me in the quantities I drink and when I'm stressed (this month especially) - I've had 4 big uni deadlines this month and have drank my way through them, working into the wee small hours. I've hit all my deadlines and have achieved good marks but the wine is a major crutch and I just want to be able to take it or leave it! Thanks for reading x

CSWS, I remember that French and Saunders sketch, she says "did you have lunch?" and French says "Yes. I had a pea" IIRC! ha ha ha

AF today. Just had THIRD interview for a job, bet I don't get it but I don't care! Had a lovely day, went shopping then had my nails done.

Evening all

Just checking in, AF here. Didn't bother with fatclub, know I have put on and really cba to queue to pay and weigh to be told I have put on. Know why, it's one of those things and will lose it, plus hopefully a bit more this week.

Really busy week this week. Loads of business paperwork to do, loads of my own work to do, ponies to get to every day as mate away on holiday which is 8 miles there, 8 miles back so a ballache, plus loads of seedlings ready to go out. Plus all the usual bollocks to do at home.

Ds is happy, passed his stage 1 at swimming, plus got his 5m with 1 float certificate so goes up into the next class with the big boys.

We're having smoked haddock omelette for dinner, with airfryer chips and salad. Can't wait, am bloody starving!

Was just about to ask about Fatclub, Frouby, but you've already answered me. I'd love a nice smoked haddock omelette.

Beyond knackered, but AF. I don't know why I drank last night. It was very stupid of me, and I knew it. I slept hideously, then got up after about 4 hours in bed. I have bought some Heineken 00.

MadameF, do I remember you saying about four threads ago that being AF during the week helped with horrible (peri) menopausal nights? I go to bed with just a sheet. I wake up in a panic and roasting. Throw sheet off. Get cold. Put sheet back on. Start sweating. Throw sheet off. Repeat 100,000,000 times over the course of the night. Though I can't help but think that drinking makes it even worse.

NewGrandad, I found your post very interesting and very honest. Thanks for sharing.

Welcome, Bigbus.

Glad DS returned home, NC4. The thing is, there's always some shitty event that derails all good intentions.

I'm hurrying as I'm so tired, but multiple waves to you lovely lot.

Frouby I hope your tea was as delicious as it sounded
Nc4 are things better tonight with DS1?
Dion I can drink up to half a bottle of wine and not have sleep interrupted but any more and I'm like you, the duvet is off and on all night. I'm not at all bothered by the menopause except sleeping at night when I drink over 3 glasses of wine. I'm very lucky in that respect. Everything physical is better when I'm AF but I still enjoy the mental effect of wine too often.
AF tonight ☕️ and not 🍷

Hi everyone.

So I was sat earlier, on the beach, while dd was preparing for ‘the water-sports’. I’d spoken with the staff, and then while sat waiting for the class to get changed, I watched them get the spinal board type stretcher out ready, plug the nebuliser in and put it within easy access. I wanted to cry so much. So proud that my little girl could take part but then shitting myself that maybe I’d put her into a dangerous situation. All because she wants to be treated as normal. But was I stupid..should I have said no and put my foot down!! Anyway I started writing here but then lost my bloody post. So looking back....she did it!! It was fab!! I’m the proudest I could be. I’ve cried inside my head..through fear, pride, sadness and happiness. So as for AF....not a frigging chance today I’m afraid. I know id planned it but nahhh!!
We off to France Thursday..got an email today saying our ferry is cancelled!! Omg!! Sorted it eventually but could’ve done without it!!

Madame - thanks for the numbers to call. Which is best?? And what does European number mean?? Sorry if I sound thick. Want to get it clear in my head!!

Hey Flossie, that’s brilliant 🙂

Dion, well done on AF tonight

Madame, it’s nice to hear about someone with no terrible menopause symptoms, I think we’re the same age.

Oh wow Flossie that is amazing! You must be bursting with emotions there. How brave of you to let her join in.

Madame I get the heart pounding wake up sweats even when I’m AF. They started in my early 30s. The doctor reckons it’s anxiety but I’m not convinced as I don’t really get anxious about much.

Things are better with DS1 today, although he seems completely oblivious to the effect of all this. He was asking to look at phone upgrades and would I get him a couple of beers and a lift to the skatepark today.
Still, tempers were held.

So it’s DS2s turn tonight. He’s stressed and upset because his science teacher shouted at him and he had a falling out with someone in PE, and now he’s saying he won’t go to school tomorrow.

By some miracle I’m AF tonight, though I’m possibly still pissed from yesterday, the amount I drank, so not much of an achievement really.

Dion you AF too?

I did not manage AF last night - the problem was that there was an open bottle that needed finishing! Honestly I hope that joining here is the first step towards more AF evenings. I don’t know why I drank last night - I was so sure I wouldn’t.

Tuesdays are easy as I have a super busy day at work the next day and there is no open alcohol on the house.

This thread is a great support. I’m looking forward to a clearer-headed future.