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Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

978 replies

Frouby · 02/04/2019 07:27

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

OP posts:
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MadameForest · 21/05/2019 07:09

Bigbus I was wondering if you managed to make it through Monday AF when you don't work Tuesdays! An open bottle of wine is always tempting, just start again AF today.
Doctor you have an awful lot on your plate and I'm really impressed you managed good marks with drinking, imagine what you are capable of if you didn't drink!
Water I'm 53, 2 years into the menopause, I think all the sport do helps. So far I haven't needed any HRT, touch wood.
Flossie Brilliant news about DD, you must be really proud!
18 is the SAMU (ambulance) in France, 112 is the European emergency number so you can speak English and explain your situation, it was created to make it easier for Europeans when in foreign countries. It works in the UK too (or should do until Brexit actually happens).
NC4 Well done on staying AF, I hope DS2 goes to school!
I was AF last night, so feel very fresh this morning. Still eating too much chocolate, but at least didn't have the wine calories on top of that.

DoctorDread · 21/05/2019 07:35

I've managed 2 nights AF!! Been working on an essay. Almost caved last night but just kept making tea. It's a bit like smoking used to be be for me: habitual. Rather like a displacement activity for when I find things difficult or need a distraction. Aiming go day 3 today as I've got to hand in on Friday and I need a clear head!

Bigbus · 21/05/2019 07:45

Madame thanks for thinking of me. Part of the problem is that I don’t feel too bad the next day even if I have almost a whole bottle but I can really notice the difference if I’ve been AF. Def AF tonight!

Doctor well done! I’m going to take inspiration from you.

I’m going to take the excellent tip about exercise - I used to run a lot and felt really good.

Good luck today everyone with all the stressful things that get in the way. My eldest DD who is 12 suffers from anxiety and it has been a bumpy ride but things are getting a bit better.

Thanks all

Frouby · 21/05/2019 07:47

Morning all

doctor I always find 3 nights makes a massuve difference to how I feel. Tonight will be day 3 for me as well, tomorrow I hope to feel bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Flossie that's amazing for your dd. I bet you are so very proud you could burst. Is it a weekly thing or is that it done now?

I feel knackered. Stayed up far too late watching LOD. Got a billionty things to do today. Off to ponies first thing, then got to watch a webinar thing on cuntbooks, then do a pile of ironing and try and get a couple of hours work done and then ds is possibly going with my cousin to the lake and doing some kayaking. He passed his stage 1 at swimming last night as well. Cousin is a member of the lakes boating club thing and she has put ds down as a family member so he can do some of the activities.

OP posts:
DoctorDread · 21/05/2019 07:58

Thanks Frouby. It's nice waking up not feeling fuzzy. Good luck for you today

DoctorDread · 21/05/2019 07:59

Thanks bigbus. We can do this!

NC4Now · 21/05/2019 08:03

Two days is brilliant Doctor. I agree with Frouby - once you get to 3 days you start seeing and feeling the difference.
Ahh Frouby LOD is super gripping, isn’t it? I’m thinking of watching it all from the start again with DS2. He likes a good drama.
I have a busy day today which has started with a nice bit of school refusal from DS2. I need to speak to the SENCO today but I don’t have much faith in her. I’ve been reading about home schooling, just because of how much he’s missing, but I can’t provide him with the standard of education he deserves, and I need to work to keep a roof over our heads. I’m a bit lost with this one. What can you do when they just refuse to go?

Dionysa · 21/05/2019 08:35

Oh God, NC4. School refusal. DD has threatened it several times, and it's always so hard to know if she's 'just' being a PITA, or if there's a 'proper' reason for it. I have always been able to get her there in the end (normally via threats of phone confiscation, lack of parties, etc), but I always feel like a complete cow. And I have no idea what I'd do if she then just refused anyway. I also have this completely unfair thought that every day she's at school is costing me a ridiculous amount of money which I could really do with spending not on school, so she's going to go come Hell or high water. I have to remember not to say this, though.
I'm glad things are more stable with DS1. They are remarkably good at acting as if nothing ever happened, IME.

Well done on being AF. I also managed last night, but only because I was feeling so tired and hungover.

Flossie, I was so happy to read about your DD2. What a relief that must have been for you. I know how hard it was for you to make the decision to let her do it. xx

I want this three-day glow that people are talking about, though I can't remember when I last managed three days.

MadameF, it's interesting to hear about your menopause experiences. I don't seem to be having too many problems (yet) during the day, but nights are different. However, I only woke up once last night because I was too hot, rather than eleventy billion times. I'm not sure if that's because I was AF, or because I was so tired that I would have slept anyway!

Bigbus, an open bottle doesn't stand a chance. Sadly. Anxiety is awful, whether it's you or a DC who suffers from it (one of mine has done, though less so now).

Good luck with all the work, Frouby and Doctor.

longestlurkerever · 21/05/2019 08:59

Flossie, that's magical about your dd2. Was she buzzing too? Frouby, lake thing sounds fab for your ds too. It's not Ulley reservoir is it? I was there at Easter and thought it must be near you.

NC4 that's really hard. You can do home schooling at weird hours and because it's 1:1 you wouldn't have to do as many hours per day as school, but it'd still be tough to fit in around working and what would he do with himself during the day? I'd try posting in a few different sections on Mumsnet though, you might get some pointers. Are there any other schools that might be a better fit? With a better SENCO? I have real faith in ours, I think she's better than the head.

Well I managed a moderate Monday despite hosting, which I am pleased about. We shared one bottle between three.
May attempt AF till Friday now. Handyman came round with his gf and baby! He seemed nice enough. He's suspiciously cheap and a bit dodgy in a cash in hand kind of way but didn't strike me as an out and out burglar so I may give him a try. That's the trouble with hiring tradespeople- once they have hiked to your house to price up a job and seen your bedroom, you kind of feel you have to give them the job whatever really. I am jealous of you with handy Dhs. I have no objection to paying, I just want people I can trust and no extra aggro. I used to have a great guy. He was a bit slapdash tbh but he would turn up and do stuff without any fuss. He did up our while house really and was part of the family bug he was always lovesick for some girl or other or trying to make it big with some madcap get rich quick scheme. He mooned off to Cambridge after a girl and my sister stole him for a while but I think she broke his heart (again) and he's flit off back to Poland, love him, though dsis still has £100s of his tools he left behind.

NC4Now · 21/05/2019 11:39

Ahh Longest your ex handyman sounds fab. I must admit, that’s the thing I miss most about XH. He could fix anything - probably outing but before his current job he was a mechanic and a decorator, so my car and house were always well maintained.
Sadly not our marriage. You can’t have it all, eh?

Dion it really is tough isn’t it? I’ve tried all the threats and promises with DS2 but if he’s not going, he won’t be convinced. I was reading about tantrums vs ASD meltdowns the other day, and basically a tantrum stops if them getting the desired or a more desirable outcome (although it’s not a good idea to give in to them).

I spoke to his head of year, who’s nice. I found a therapist who will work with home and school, and they are open to trying that, as DS won’t see the school counsellor.

I need this holiday!

Frouby · 21/05/2019 13:53

longest Ulley is about 12 miles from me, we are the other side, in between R and B. The lake is an old quarry/pit they flooded after it closed back in the early 80s and there is a nature reserve one side, and a golf course the other with the trans penine trail through the middle of it all. It's really beautiful and we are lucky really. Lots of tracks and trails you can walk/bike/ride on.

I really need to move the ponies over this way so we can access them all. Livery yards are such a minefield though. Yards with access to nice off road hacking tend to be big, posh and very expensive with loads of schools and facilities. But never much grazing, lots of rules and regulations. So better for facilities but the ponies would maybe miss their 247 turnout. And with lots of generally women, it can be cliquey and bitchy which I am too old for.

There is a small private yard I know that has the access to the hacking, beautiful stables, plenty of grazing but no school, but is hacking distance to a big equestrian centre you can hack to and hire the school. The problem with that one is the farmer that owns it isn't horsey and if I can't physically get there I would be a bit stuck. Last time I passed there was a gobshite woman who had 'taken over the livery side' to 'sort it out'. She corrected me while chatting about a term I correctly used, then proceeded to lecture me. Dds face was 😮 then 🤐 as I counter corrected her, explaining that although the terminology in English (breaking) may mean ruining something, in equestrian terms it is unambiguous in it's meaning, accepted as a term, used by the BHS and other associations and professionals such as farriers and vets, and covers the process from start to finish, from groundwork to riding away in 3 paces. Whereas 'starting' to most means something different and could refer to different parts of the same process.

Woman looked a bit put out that I hadn't bowed down to her superior knowledge, so I haven't been back. I know more than I look like I know, don't shove my opinions down peoples throats, but can't stand horsey folk like that who think they know everything and go around trying to tell others what they know. Unless I ask I am not interested.

So yeah. Am going to nip back up at some point and see if gobshite is still there and maybe consider a move. But I say this every few months and then don't change. Our current yard is OK. We can do what we want, hardly anyone ever around, loads of grazing and a school, just no hacking. It's cheap, but 8 miles away so a ballache to go to as much as I would like.

Need to win lottery and buy a big house with land!

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CottonSock · 21/05/2019 16:22

Not much news from me. Had 1 glass Sunday and af Monday and hopefully today. Have 5 mins peace after work before the chaotic routine of early dinner and brownies. Will watch bake off professionals later.

Watched the first episode of The Virtues last night .. anyone seen? You won't fancy a drink watching that I promise!

Flossie44 · 21/05/2019 18:43

God I’m Struggling with even thinking of being AF. I’ve wanted to yesterday and today but failed miserably yesterday and know I’m going to have wine tonight.

Madame - thanks heaps for that number. I really hope i don’t have to use it, but it takes w bit of uncertainty out of the process if I do need to.

Flying by so will be back later..hope you are all well x

Waterandlemonjuice · 21/05/2019 19:13

AF here. AF for 21 of the last 23 days in fact (glossing over the weekend!) so I’m pleased with that. have stuck to the BSD too so that’s good.

NC4Now · 21/05/2019 20:05

I watched the first one CottonSocks. I love Shane Meadows films and Stephen Graham is a fantastic actor so it was unmissable for me.

I’ve just realised I’m going on holiday at 7.30am on European Election Day. Tommy Robinson was in my neck of the woods yesterday and said he got the biggest turnout in the NW. My first job today was writing about that which put me in a bit of a bad mood, made worse when his face and vitriol dropped through my letterbox. Looks like I’ll be banging down the door of the polling station at 7am Thursday morning...

longestlurkerever · 21/05/2019 20:08

Is it too late to organise postal/proxy vote NC4?

NC4Now · 21/05/2019 21:40

Yes, I think it is Longest. It’s ok, the polling station opens at 7 and it’s only two minutes from my house. I can be there and back in 10 mins if I’m organised.

I’ll make damn sure I’m organised to vote against Yaxley-Lennon, bringing his hateful divisive opinions to my lovely, peaceful, progressive city 😡

longestlurkerever · 21/05/2019 22:46

Good for you NC4! How were the DSs today? Looking forward to your holiday?

AF. Busy day at work. Took dds to play rounders in the park, wrestled them over-tired into bed. Ate curry, watched Thrones on catch up. Ready for bed. Wine not really needed. Wednesday always seems much harder somehow. The reward impulse kicks in because I have managed two lousy AF days not even in a row.

Bigbus · 21/05/2019 22:54

AF here finally! Can’t believe how much I’ve been tempted though which goes to show I’m in the right place before things get more out of hand.

NC4Now · 21/05/2019 23:04

DS1 has been pretty good really.
DS2 didn’t go to school and has just been down, pacing the rug, telling me he doesn’t think he can manage tomorrow either. He wants to but it’s like the shutters go down and it’s Game Over.

I’m really looking forward to our holiday. We really need it.

Your evening sounds lovely. I know what you mean about Wednesdays. I’ve just found a lone bottle of Punk IPA in the fridge. It was looking lonely. I’ve put it out of its misery. That’s moderating, right?

Flossie44 · 21/05/2019 23:04

Well done big bus!! 🎉🎉

NC4Now · 21/05/2019 23:15

Good work BigBus! 🚌

Frouby · 22/05/2019 06:42

Well done bigbus.

It is moderating nc, especially when you have had such a stressful few days.

I was AF last night. 3 nights in a row. Slept really well too. Don't feel all energised this morning but am sure I will once the coffee kicks in.

Ds absolutely loved kayaking. He had to come in 10 minutes before the end as he fell in and was freezing so was furious. Instructor says he did really well though, didn't panic or cry in the water and managed to get himself back into the kayak. He's going again on Thursday.

So it was 7.30pm by the time we got home, had dd chuntering about pasta, ds starving even though he had already had his tea, dh whining he was hungry.

I just cracked open a becks blue and powered on through. Star for me.

Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.
Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.
OP posts:
leavingAqaba · 22/05/2019 07:29

wow, plenty of gold stars to give out for these last days including NC because yes that's totally moderating. I'm in the middle of a six evening stretch with DH traveling with no drinks for me when it's just me at home, because I can't be trusted. There is a ton of booze in the flat but I'm used to that. So far two evening AF and one evening at a friends place where we finished two bottles shared some wine.
Loving the water sports theme flossie that's amazing and frouby your son is only five isn't he? Pretty good going.

Flossie44 · 22/05/2019 07:52

Frouby..that pic is gorgeous of ds!! I used to be a kayak instructor back in the day. Those are proper kayaks..not the sit on type they fob you off with these down here in Cornwall!! Be he was knackered!! Great exercise!!
And bloody hell..3 days is amazing!! I once again let myself down with 3/4 bottle of wine!! Ffs