Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

[Frouby]

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

Longest, I’m glad you had a nice day with your children 🙂

Dionysa, can you see friends more now your children are a bit older?

I feel as I’m emerging from child rearing, I know they always need us, no matter how old they are, but it feels liberating as I don’t need to be as physically present, just very available emotionally. And financially ha ha ha. So easier than toddlers in some ways but harder in others.

Happy weekend everyone!

Dion - I’m like you. I met my xh when I was 17 and then moved in with him when I was 18 and bought my first house in my early 20’s!! I didn’t drink alcohol til I was 26!! I used to run half marathons so was tee total. Then I divorced xh when ds was 1....and hit the bottle!!!!!!! Drunk so much each night to blot life out. I tried to be so pissed that I’d pass out because I couldn’t face life!!
The only rime I’ve been totally sober is being pregnant or breastfeeding. (And I did that til they were 18mths thank god!)

Longest - the lido trip sounded fab!! Such lovely memories caught on camera too

Hey be taken dd1 and two friends shopping today. Plus took dd2 also. Dh thought it would be nice if he went for a leisurely bike ride!! Tomorrow he’s going for a gentle game of golf!!!!!!!!!! Imagine!!!!! Imagine me having 5 hours to do what I please today, knowing I’d be having the same tomorrow in form of golf!! While he’s at golf..I’ll be cleaning and ironing for the week ahead!!

So...had full bottle tonight. Off on holiday to France on Thursday eve..got so much to sort!! Have challenged dh to be dry mon-wed inc then have our first drink on the ferry. He’s not sure he can do this. I’ve said I can....but inside I’m not so sure!!

Water, you said it for me.Teenagers are weird. They sort of don't need you at all, but need you all the time. I am out a lot, though am not seeing friends much ATM as I'm spending so much time at work. And then I tend to see DP if I have spare time. It's hard to try to be everywhere at once. But AF tonight, thank God.

Madame - what number do I call in France for an ambulance? And will the call operator understand English?! I do my best with French language but I’m not sure I’ll manage it in an emergency!! I’m trying to prep myself for worst case!!

Dion - af tonight is amazing!!

Evening all

Am back to our hotel, slightly drunk but a belly full of tapas. Had a fab time but glad not to be completely pissed. We have chocolate buttons and a bottle of water each and our room is quiet and warm and peaceful. Rare footage attached of me and dh 😜.

Frouby - you look bloody gorgeous!! Have fab night!! Try get some sleep!! 😉😂

Frouby that's a lovely photo you both look so happy, congratulations!
Dion well done on your AF night I hope you slept well and feel brilliant this morning
Flossie the number you want is 15 for ambulance or 112 is the emergency European number, where are you off to in France?
Off to catch some fish in the Morbihan Gulf (hopefully)!

Lovely photo Frouby, you look great!

I had close to a bottle of wine, felt a bit woozy and thought I might be sick. That's my tolerance reduced in 3.5 weeks already then. So I know that 2 glasses is nice, 3 is risky.

Wow Frouby, that's a lovely photo - Happy anniversary!

Well done Dion, Sat night AF!

Flossie, grr at Dh's sense of entitlement. When is your weekend off?

Dd1's concert was lovely. Most of it was a proper grown up classical concert and I was watching Dd1 getting twitchy across the aisle but she was good, and the choir's songs were fab. Still managed to have quite a lot of wine after I got back though. Need to get better at this. Am not too bad at sticking to three AF days a week, but the rest of my moderation plan seems to have gone out of the window a bit.

Frouby, what a gorgeous photo - and I'm so glad you had a good night.

Flossie, I started drinking because it was all nice, and DP (being in the wine trade) was offering me lots of lovely stuff. Then he started upsetting me and that, combined with shitty divorce, made it slither into exactly what you describe - blotting it all out. That's where I am now.

However, I am at least just unhappy this morning, rather than unhappy and hungover.

I hope you manage Mon-Wed, though I think it's your turn to go and do the equivalent of playing golf. Maybe you should tell him you're going fishing with MadameF.

Glad you enjoyed the concert, Longest.

Cotton, interesting re tolerance. That's a good sign.

Some truly shitty behaviour from DS1 this week. Am seriously done with it. He was very abusive to me yesterday then stayed out till 2.30am. He’s had a roasting from his dad but I just feel so sad at the things he said. I’ve fought his corner his whole life, and I’m the only one who has.
He says he’s sorry, but you can’t un-say things.
He’s now repairing some stuff he broke yesterday too.
Very much not AF here this weekend.

NC4 💐 I’ve been there, I’m sorry, that’s hard.

He’s fucked off out with his friends now and is refusing to come home.

Can I join in?

NC4 💐 from me too. I have also been there. I am the one who has always been in DS's corner, and he has at times been beyond vile to me. You can move on but as you say, you can't un-say things. DS once said something to me that is unforgettable, and not in a good way. I wouldn't be AF either, in your place (and probably won't be in mine, even though I have to get up at 5 tomorrow for work).

Welcome, Doctor.

NC4 . I’ve been there too with ds. Told me awful things. And like you, I’ve been his only stability so unforgivable when they hurt you like that. It’s the worst pain because they’re your babies and not how you ever imagined. Also..you can’t just walk away from them..so become that emotional punchbag.
I wouldn’t be AF either!! Sending big hugs.

Welcome doctor....how are things with you?

How’s everyone else doing?

I’m just gutted. We were supposed to be spending the weekend planning our holiday, shopping, packing etc and instead it’s been spent worrying where he is and what he’s doing.
The absolute idiot has been getting involved in some very stupid and dangerous things, so I’ve stopped his money to make it harder. Hence his fury.
Bloody hell.
I was out with a friend who was stressing over potty training today. I’d take that any day over this.

Remind me how old he is NC4? It really is so much harder as they get older. Ds made my life absolutely hell. It was like he was trying to kill me..he ran me ragged. My blood pressure rocketed and I felt so stressed and constantly sad. All due to his behaviour.
Do you think the holiday may help your relationship with him? Take him away from what’s distracting him. Is his dad and wife going? I know they were trying to get flights.
Really feel for you. It’s heart breaking. My ds is due home end of June. I’m dreading it. Haven’t seen him since end of December. But just know that after the first few hours, he will revert to being a twat towards me!!

He’ll be 17 next month Flossie. I really hope the holiday will be a break for him. His dad has got involved this weekend actually, which is rare.
They’re coming over for the weekend but after the crap DS has pulled this week they may be wishing they hadn’t bothered.

for NC4 and all those dealing with difficult teens. He's acting out towards you because he can, but it doesn't make it any easier. I hope he comes home soon sheepish and you have a good holiday.

Am wiped out today. Don't know if it's a hangover or hormones or both but have been looking forward to bed since lunchtime. Have had an ok day though just pottering. Kids stung me for expensive new sansals. Had cheapo Chinese for lunch. Bumped into friends in the park which was a bonus then had piano, which is always nice and gets me out of Sunday teatime. Need to shovel them into bed now and I won't be far behind, though house is embarrassing and mil arrives tomorrow.

Nc4 I'm so sorry about DS1. Teenagers can be incredibly difficult but it's their way of growing up. I had an easy ride with DD now 18 but DS will be more difficult I'm sure. I hope his dad manages to install some sense into him!
Welcome doctor this thread is lovely and very we don't judge, we all have dry days occasionally and rather too many wet ones
Longest sounds like you had a nice lazy Sunday, don't beat yourself up!
So did I, no sport at all today, just put on a boat fishing. It started off sunny, then lots of rain. We didn't catch any mackerel much to DS's relief, DP caught nothing but I landed a sea bass and wanted to throw it back but DP wouldn't let me. It made a rather delicious dinner. AF from tomorrow.

I want it, MadameF!!!!!!!

for NC4

Not dry.

Ooh that's a proper tea Madame F! Well done! And nicer than mackerel imo.

Have handy person coming round to give me a quote for some boring jobs. Am worried he may be dodgy criminal as he just posted an ad on local Facebook group and I don't know him from Adam. But handy people are in short supply round here, especially in my house and am fed up of looking at all my broken stuff.