Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

[Frouby]

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

So sorry waterandlemonjuice - utter utter bastards!

Frouby - javelin arse sounds v painful but v funny description 😂

Dionysa - I am also losing the will with the current political shit show. I did a postal vote - went for Greens for remaining/environment reasons and because I didn’t have a clue who else to vote for.

Had 2 nights AF but not dry tonight - had Chinese and sharing a bottle of white with DH.

I was in an alcohol awareness course last year and have also been diagnosed with bpd (abusive childhood also) and my therapist said that we use alcohol when nothing else works.
I'm not an alcoholic but I do use alcohol to get me through difficult times because it makes everyone in my head less loud iyswim.

I'm not even alcohol dependent and can happily go without if I'm calm. But stress, anxiety and chaos are my triggers.
Ugh.

nanny state and cannabis tea
😂

Cannabis tea. I had forgotten about this. But now I want some.

Bollocks. DH said "wine?" in a way that was impossible to argue with so I did not. Sorry, cannabis tea. Am turning down final glass in favour of peppermint though.

Ugh. I'm so stuck on my final essay of the year.

Will more wine help donyou think?? 😂

Doctor your post totally resonates. Using alcohol when nothing else works. What did your course recommend you do instead?

Lots of grounding techniques which work to a point but when tjectrigger is too strong they recommend just being kind to yourself, doing what you need to do but being mindful of what you need it for. I've found it helps to stop me just pouring unnecessary booze down my next when 2-3 glasses would suffice. It's kind of mindful drinking.

When it's fight or flight and you reach forvthe booze, make sure it's enough, but no more.

Apologies for typos. Fat fingers. I was good and stopped at three (Prosecco sized) glasses and went on to the tea so not hideous and better than sowing a full bottle of read 250ml at a time!!!

That makes sense, though it's be useful to know the grounding techniques too. I have realised through this thread that my two biggest triggers are stress over my mum and in particular stress, or rather despair, over dh's health, and related grief over our relationship. When those things are under control I have a lot more self restraint, but I can't always control them and that's when things escalate. I haven't found an alternative coping mechanism, but it is useful to an extent to be able to recognise what's going on.

Exactly. It's not a great coping mechanism but it does the job and if you're mindful, it doesn't overtake and develop into a bigger problem. It's all a bit of a sticking plaster solution really but you have to be able to unpick the trauma before you can put one thing healthier in its place iyswim?

I'll see if I can dig out the grounding techniques once my shitting essay is done! I've had to give up for tonight as my head is scrambled!

Thanks for all your kind words. Not AF tonight but never intended to be as I am away for the night. It’s the days I intend to be AF but can’t that worry me. Also I like the way I feel after a glass of wine! But def AF tomorrow when I get back. Good luck all

Morning all,
I hope you feel better this morning Water and Doctor and good luck with your assignment.
AF day 3 yesterday, I seem to have cracked the temptation with DP drinking beer instead of wine and me sticking to sparkling water. I actually prefer water to wine with a meal. Am looking forward to a glass of wine tonight with pizza - DP's son has a pizzeria and he does proper Italian pizzas which are excellent and almost diet as they are not topped with a gallon of melted cheese.

Morning all. Back to AF today for me! Hope you all have a good day!

Doctor - hope your final essay is going ok? I remember those days..the pressure!!
The comment from your counsellor saying you use alcohol when nothing else works..omg that’s me!! I use it when I feel I can’t control what’s going on in my life.

Madame - the pizza sounds amazing!! Yum!!

I’m pretty proud of myself. Had half a glass of wine with dominoes pizza last night (not proud of the pizza!😂). I usually drink the whole bottle when we have pizza. As soon as I’d finished pizza, I got up and did a few jobs then brushed my teeth. Didn’t want any more wine then!! 😃. Poured some as dh was drinking beer still. But I tipped it down the sink after half hour of holding the glass and not drinking it!!

Flossie that's amazing moderating, I never pour drink away 😂.

Good luck dr. I always reach for a drink when I feel out of control. I am finding it easier to moderate drinking while doing fatclub, partly because I feel more in control of what I eat/drink. Most of my extra weight comes from drink (beer) but some of it is from eating unhealthy foods while drinking. And some of it is because I felt out of control with regards to drinking, so the food didn't matter either.

Busy busy again today. Got a few hours work to do this morning, then ponies this afternoon, pick ds up, chuck some food down him, take him kayaking then get home (about 7.30ish), chuck more food down him, then feed me and dh. Debating a spag bol, me and ds love it, dh is definetly not a fan and dd won't eat it as not veggie.

House also looks like a bomb has gone off again. And I could do with spending a few hours watching bastarding webinars on cuntbooks bollocks.

Wasn't dry last night and don't think I have any gin left so will be dry tonight! Need to pick some more up and debating between normal, rhubarb and ginger or raspberry for a change.

Just noticed this thread is nearly full (again!) So started a new one, you will know which it is when you see the title.

If anyone can do a clicky link I would be most grateful as I am a bit crap at that.

Awesome moderating there Flossie. I’ll have to try the toothbrush trick.
Frouby we have the Spag Bol debate in our house too. I hardly ever get to make it and even more rare that we can have spaghetti cos DS1 can’t eat it without getting tangled up.
Water how are you today?

I am on the brink of losing my mind here. Our train to the airport was delayed and delayed and delayed and despite assurances from the platform lady, ended up being cancelled. The next one changed platforms when it arrived with no announcement. Thank fuck one of my DS noticed. I’ll ignore that they were stood between two platforms arguing about where to go.
We’ll now arrive at the airport 45 mins after check in opens.
This on my own would be stressful, but throw in two teenage boys, one with ASD and the other with dyspraxia and well....
The train company will be getting a strongly worded email, put it that way.
I get that delays are unavoidable at times but the communication was appalling.
I bet I don’t get time for an airport pint either (the only time it’s ever acceptable to have a beer before noon).

Ah well. I made it to the polling station at least. It all started out so well....

Just want to say how lovely you all are. I'm having a pretty stressful time right now for several reasons and I just want to permanently drown myself in a vat of vino! You're all helping me not do that!

Frouby - I’ve looked and can’t find a new thread 🤔. Love spag bol. Dh hates it. There’s a theme!! Haha!! Oh and just typed in spag Bol and my phone auto corrected to SLAG Bol so that’s what I’m calling it from now on!!

NC4 - have a great holiday. We off to France for half term. Dd1 is being an utter cowbag!! She hates me apparently, I’m self centred, two faced blah blah. The list goes on!! Apparently she’s never ever ever ever going to speak to me again 😂😂. And dd2 has what seems a chest inf brewing!! I’m definately not going to be dry tonight!!

Alcohol support:

Wankerbastards will upset us that try, but we will still be dry. Or dryer at a push. It's a good job we are not in a rush.

Argh I can't do cunting clickys.

But that's the thread title in alcohol support,which is where this thread is.

Phew!! Made it. On the plane, good to go. 50 mins from train seat to plane seat. Not bad...