New Year, New Start. Probably dries and lows as we Tryers to be Dryers try 2019.

[Frouby]

New thread for the New Year.

Support thread for those who want to moderate and reduce alcohol. Absolutely no judgement, just advice and support. Absolutely everyone is welcome whatever your goals or hopes for 2019.

Am no good at clicky linke but there are previous threads and we look forward to continuing to moderate and reduce in 2019.

Especially today. 14 coming for 3 courses at 3pm and I have a raging hangover to start the year. Fml.

imabloodymess

Managed by the skin of my teeth to stay dry. Am very glad I took the ice out of the freezer as I would have had a gin if not.

Tracking units is shit. I can see in black and white how crap 14 units is. Have had 7 already this week, thats over 4 bloody beers ffs.

And I have PMT, not sure I will be dry tomorrow. Some twat (me) filled the ice cube tray up.

Frouby yep. Calculations are just boring as hell and 14 units is a pee in the ocean. I’m hoping to abstain enough to become part of bridage who are overcome after a thimble of sherry. Fat chance.

Over analysing again. There seemed to be such a discrepancy between what the radiographer said on the day of the scan ‘your liver is fine, you have a 2cm benign cyst but they are very common. I can see some SMALL signs of fatty change in the liver, but for your age and approximate BMI I am not at all concerned’ to the GP calling me back in and saying ‘we need to pay attention to your liver’. So I asked the private hospital where I had the scan for a copy of the report. It states two points. 1 is a load of medical jargon about the issue I didn’t actually have and 2 just says ‘fatty liver’.

So if that’s what the GP based his recall on, it’s different to the discussion the radiographer has with me. I know that’s not a green light by any means, but it does mean I wouldn’t feel quite so guilty about 14-20 units over a week rather than 14 as a max.

I hate thinking about it so much. I reckon I’ve visited every single webpage every created about fatty livers and alcohol and it just fuels the anxiety about it all.

Counting calories and weighing food and trying to be very low on fat isn’t helping either. 11lb loss since Jan 1st but there is a limit as to how long I can live with rice cakes and fat free cottage cheese. If someone walked past with a dominoes pizza I probably would grab it and run.....

I hear you re the counting. I’ve scrimped on my WW points today to try and claw back the bottle of rose I demolished last night.
I’ve just about balanced the books but I need to get ahead as I’m out on a uni reunion on Saturday, all day. I’m half a lb of dropping into the next stone bracket, so I really need a loss this week.

NC4. Good luck. I remember well the dropping to the next stone and how amazing it feels. You will do it!! I will b joining you on sat as start SW again.

Wahooo..I threw a glass of wine away tonight!!!! Realised I was drinking it but not loving it!! There’s a first!! So I threw it!! All in all had about a third of a bottle tonight and now on herbal tea!! That’s the least I’ve drink in about 5 months!!

Hello everyone.i'm a mess big hugs and I echo what everyone else says. Please seek help. You will not always feel this way. At the very least go to bed, try not to think about things and get through tonight.

I've been at 2x work drinks and have overdone it I know. Can't stop hicupping. Am in kebab shop (fancy one) hoping that will help.

At same time, that's the kind of drinking I like. I had fun with friends and connected with people the way I wouldn't when sober. And when a Minister of the Crown is insisting you finish the bottle it's hard to think other than its socially acceptable really, and it kind of turned into my leaving drinks because of enforced Brexit move. Excuses I know. Hope I'll sleep ok and get away with it. Tomorrow is Thursday which is my easiest AF day as long as DH sticks to his night out. Bath and crap telly in bed feels like an indulgence.

Woo Flossie! Go you. And well done on the weightless NC4!

That sounds like fun longest. Enjoy your kebab!
Flossie you threw it away?!! Something must be clicking for you too. Well done!

Im a mess are you OK today?
Flossie yay to throwing wine away! Longest as NC4 says, your night out is how alcohol should be enjoyed so don't worry about it, when you can take it or leave it when you are on your own is a sign you have broken the dependence and 'reward' syndrome of booze.
Frouby well done on your AF night despite temptation!
Once you hit 50 and the menopause you can eat hardly anything without putting on weight so reducing alcohol definitely helps with getting rid of useless calories. If I didn't do sport I'd probably have to just eat once meal a day to stay slim. It sucks.
Not AF last night, opened a bottle of wine after swimming club but only had 2 small glasses DP had most of it. The roads here are like an ice rink this morning, definitely not a morning to be driving having drunk too much the night before.

@Alabaster, sorry to be grim, but you have to stop using the 'possibly not fatty liver' as hope that you can keep drinking.
My mum died due to alcohol complications. Despite drinking 2-3 bottles of wine a day in the last few years, her liver was remarkably well enough to transplant (didn't happen in the end, but it could have been). She was nice and slim... Muscle wastage due to alcohol intake has that effect. Unfortunately as the booze took over she lost interest in food, passed out due to low blood sugars (not diabetic, just lack of food) ended up in hospital where she contracted pneumonia. Because she was in poor health overall she couldn't fight it.

Theres many aspects of health that boozing hits, it's not just about the liver.

I’ve found that with my weight since I turned 40 Anglaise. I’m now trying to replicate the lifestyle I had in my 20s (minus the hard partying) to try and get in control. Walking to work, fewer takeaways and eating out etc.

DS2 is refusing to go to school again today. I don’t blame him. He got punched in the face yesterday. He was so quiet and worried last night, and barely slept. He refuses to be a ‘snitch’ but I’ve said if he isn’t going in I have to give a reason. Poor boy. He’s such a gentle natured kid too.

Hello all. Can I join you? I've been trying to cut back the demon drink for a while but have come to realisation I think I need to stop completely. I seem to have no off switch when I drink. Always ends up being loads of glam wine instead of a couple. Then I come home And pick and argument with my husband. Happened last night too and I don't remember it. I'm 40 this year. Have two children. I really need to just stop

I'm ok, I ended up going to bed then got up and proceeded to vomit up both bottles 🤢 no hangover, just guilt. I've just felt like this for so long I'm giving up. Kids are coming to visit this weekend and I'm excited and scared because I'm still so fragile and feeling ill from the meds. This just feels like a mess I can't get out of. I'm amazed I'm still alive after all the meds I take and putting alcohol on top! X

NC4Now - your poor DS, no wonder he didn’t want to go to school.

Elvis - hi and welcome. Hope you’ve made it up with your DH. Most of us on here are aiming to cut down/moderate rather than giving up altogether but it’s a good start to do this and see how it goes.

Mess - it’s probably a good job you were sick. I’m glad you have your kids to focus on this weekend. Please do try and ring the Samaritans or someone who you can offload to. Take care.

Oh NC4 it's so shit being a school child isn't it? If anyone assaulted or threatened me i would go to the police, but he thinks he has to just put a brave face on. What are you going to do?

Just keep swimming mess. Focus on the weekend.

Welcome Elvis.

Don't feel too bad today but turned up at nursery meeting this morning that was yesterday. Pillock. Last day at work. Should be filing.

I’m waiting for a call back from his head of year. DS1 spoke to him this morning which helped a lot. He told him how school deal with these things, not to worry, and not to let anyone push him around.
He’s a good kid.

NC4Now - I’m really pleased that the school know what happened. I know it’s scary for kids to speak out for fear of recrimination but these bullies need dealing with. Hope the school sort it out swiftly.

And well done your DS2

Gah, I meant well done your DS1 for being so supportive!

NC your ds is so brave for going back, its so difficult for them sometimes when something like that happens. Hugs for you both.

Am glad you are OKish mylife, try and get some real life support tho I know how tricky it is.

Not dry here. Didn't think I would be.

Reasons I am not dry.

1. It is fucking freezing and I froze my arse off this morning doing the school run then went to feed and water the chickens. I took them bread, warm water, warm porridge and topped their bed up. They were very thirsty as their water had frozen in the night. Several people have chickens/ducks/pigeons on the allotment.

At 10.30am when I finally left after an hour, only me and the lady at the back of me had bothered to turn up to feed and more importantly water their animals. I know this because of the foot prints (or lack of) from the gate.

Rotten, lazy bastards. Poor, poor chooks.

1. DH came home from work early. Fucker. He annoys me when he is home and should be at work.

1. Ds is a little twat. He is.

1. Because I have pmt. Major pmt.

1. Because Dh isn't drinking. And it annoys me when he doesn't drink because he huffs and puffs and sighs a lot.

1. Because he's been for a nan nap earlier and moved the clean piles of washing on thr bed waiting to be put away to the chair. Instead of putting them away because he 'doesn't know where they go'. In the fucking fridge Dh, where do you think? Silly place to put clothes, you would think they go in wardrobes or chest of fucking drawers wouldn't you?

Apparently he's tired so needed a nan nap after last nights trauma. I did actually laugh hysterically at him last night.

It was 10.30pm. He had been asleep about 30 minutes. I turned the news off, started to drift off then realised he was facing me, not only snoring in my face but also stealing my air. Poked him and told him to turn over, which he always does (otherwise I poke him with my toes on his shins). So he's turned over, flails his arms about a bit, knocks his glass of water off the chest of drawers at the side of the bed and drenches his face in cold water. Made a horrible, shocked, sucking in noise then lay there blinking looking traumatised saying 'what the fuck, fucking jesus, what fucking happened'.

Obviously being the kind and sympathetic kind wife I am absolutely pissed myself. I literally spend the next hour smirking, then giggling then all out hysterically laughing at him.

So yeah. Have had a bottle of coors, and currently got a very nice g and t on the go. Am not even bothered .

Oh Frouby. You can always be relied on to give me a chuckle. I love the DH and water tale. I do the gin vs a banana calculation, too.

I am catching up, as DP came round last night (DD was boarding, at her request). So it was not dry, and tonight won't be either, but I will try to moderate a bit.

Flossie, yay to you for pouring wine away!!!!!

NC4 I am so sorry about your DS2. It's good that your DS1 is being helpful - and I hope the school sorts it out. There's nothing like your child being unhappy to make everything else seem so much worse.

imabloodymess, what an awful time you are having. Keep posting. I know we can't do anything practical, but sometimes it's good just to be able to tell people. We are all good at hand-holding. Have you asked your GP about whether there is a Crisis team available to you? If not, it might be worth a go. I can PM you if you want to know more.

Elvis, I know all about the off-switch. I really don't want to give up completely, though. I'd like to return to what used to be 'normal' drinking (until about 3 years ago).

Alabaster, I find that one of the most boring things about this treadmill is the will I/won't I/blah/blah conversations that start going on in my head from about 5 o'clock onwards. I am quite happy to think at the start of the day that I won't drink that evening (though I do think about it during the day more than I used to - which is partly because I now accept that I have some form of a problem, and it worries me).

Longest, sounds like a fun evening. I used to be a bit partial to a pakora kebab as a student...

LOL at your DH last night 😂 That’ll teach him for breathing in your air! As for the clothes on the bed, my DH can’t even be bothered to transfer them to ‘the chair’ (where they normally spend a few days until I hear roars of ‘where’s my ripped jeans/Champion jumper/Nike t-shirt/F1 hoodie etc.’ from the precious moppets and then I have to sort it out) no, he just shoves them on to my side of the bed. He’s lucky he hasn’t been stabbed in his sleep!

I’m not going to be dry tonight even though I was supposed to be as I’ve only done 2 AF days not 3. Mentally I’m not ready to include a Thursday in my AF plans and also it’s snowing so normal rules don’t apply.

Obviously the first part of my post was meant to be for Frouby.

Canshop, I love the idea of snow being a good excuse.

On a very different topic, but I am still thinking about this betting thing, Frouby. How much would you advise putting into it in the first place? (Sorry if this is a dense question).

I opened my post this evening (I don't like doing this, as it might involve bills), and DD has an appointment with the eating disorders team - next week!! I am immensely relieved, as 'ordinary' psychiatric issues have a waiting list of more than a year. Bit sad, though, to be relieved that your child is being seen by the eating disorders team .

All very tricky, though, as she doesn't want her dad to know. I agreed not to tell him about her last CAMHS appointment, though still feel a bit guilty about it. FML.

I’m not dry. I’m on UC as I lost my job in August. Got a new one in sept with the local council. Took them 3 months to put a payroll through. I’ve never claimed benefits before but was shocked when my Dec payment didn’t come through. HMRC recorded all 3 months wages as one month!! So no Uc. I appealed on the 11th of Dec. Rang up UC today and they are saying they’ve tried repeatedly to contact my employer and even sent letters.
Spoke to the Payroll manager at my work and they have no record of any attempts to contact.
I’ve contacted UC back again and given the info. I just feel like I’ve lied to. I’m pissed off +++

Put me on payroll that should say