New Year, New Start. Probably dries and lows as we Tryers to be Dryers try 2019.

[Frouby]

New thread for the New Year.

Support thread for those who want to moderate and reduce alcohol. Absolutely no judgement, just advice and support. Absolutely everyone is welcome whatever your goals or hopes for 2019.

Am no good at clicky linke but there are previous threads and we look forward to continuing to moderate and reduce in 2019.

Especially today. 14 coming for 3 courses at 3pm and I have a raging hangover to start the year. Fml.

NC4...budge up and let me perch on the end. Bottle
Down!!

Thank you NC4. I think I invented the Failures' Bench...

Ahem, not having any talk of ‘failures’ on here! We are all ‘tryers’ remember. If at first you don’t succeed and all that. Sending hugs to anyone who is beating themselves up this morning - today is a new day (possibly snowy - though no more than a smattering here).

I am slightly beating myself up canshop. The thing that upset me last night is still there, still needs dealing with, and I’m still cross about it.
So the wine achieved nothing. Note to self, there.
Hope you’re feeling ok today Dion.

💐 to NC4 too

This is my final AF day of January, day 29!

Tomorrow I am out for dinner with DH so will start with a cocktail 🍸 and will drink wine

And yep, we are tryers to ge driers, no failure talk allowed!

The thing that upset me last night is still there, still needs dealing with, and I’m still cross about it. So the wine achieved nothing. Note to self, there.

Think this needs to be branded on my retina, NC4.

I suppose I feel like a failure for only managing one day when so many of you have managed 29. Just how?!?

Waterandlemonjuice - fantastic, hats off to you. Have a lovely evening tomorrow.

Amazing waterandlemonjuice!! That’s a real achievement. I’m in awe.

Enjoy your cocktail!

I’m Day 5, I had a one day blip. Before that I was 4 days. One day drinking out of ten is a miracle! Helped that I was in hospital though (I wouldn’t recommend it as a tactic though!)

Well done those that have nailed it.

Dion - don’t beat yourself up lovely. Hey, you’ve done one more af day than me!! I haven’t managed one single day one!! Not one!! Every day has seemed a fml day right now!! I’m just getting though life and clinging to the edges. So please cling with me too. Life’s thrown some shit stuff at you..put your strength into coping with those things before you can gain strength to push through the af ‘thing’.
Sending hugs xx

Dionysa I promise you I drank like a bastard all of September, October, November and December! At least a bottle of wine a night, very few days AF.

Ms “all or nothing” that's me, it's not good!

Alabaster welcome from another wine addict! I don't really like any alcohol except for red wine. I used to drink at least 5 bottles of wine a week, then hit the menopause and cut down to one bottle a week over 3 days at the weekend and AF Mon - Thursday. I did that for 16 months and it seems to have worked, I can't physically drink as much as a bottle in one go without feeling awful the next day, and I don't have a problem being AF if DP isn't around in the week to lead me astray.
Good luck - I agree about the lfts being dodgy, mine were at top of normal when I was drinking a lot, nothing worrying, then when I cut right down they increased slightly, so there are other things as well as alcohol which influence them.
Water well done and enjoy your cocktail tomorrow
Dion
Longest if you can get out for a run at lunchtime then do it! I get up at 6 every morning so run for an hour before work. Not much fun in the winter in the dark and cold but at least I have the footpaths to myself!
I was AF last night, intending to be tonight as well. Quite happy because I had 2 glasses of wine Monday and thought I might then give into temptation for the rest of the week.

Water, that does give me a bit of hope. Thank you for telling me that.

Flossie, yes, let's cling together.

Well done, Zoflora. I had been wondering how you were doing...

Afternoon. Day 3 of this week. 17 days out of 30 dry in January. 31 if you include tomorrow because I’m not going to drink until Friday. But that’s still 10/31 I am drinking. 1/3. You think I’d be happy with that over 30/30 but nope. I guess I’m just a glass half empty person

I was okay this morning. Daytimes are never an issue. But then the internal arguments start.

• your liver is unwell. You should be motivated to not drink at all.
• ahh yes, but Dr Google tells me ANYONE drinking 4+ units a day most days would have a fatty liver!
• but what if it’s worse than that and it’s axtuakly damaged?
• don’t be stupid, you had a scan!!
• what about all the fatty livers walking around, you’re probably surrounded by them, they’re not worrying?
• no but YOU could be the unlucky one who progressed to cirrhosis!!!!!!
• but you had a SCAN!!!! Shut up!!!!!
• okay okay. So cutting down should be enough, right?

It’s exhauating. Right now even not drinking mon-thurs isn’t my normal and that’s not enough. Cutting down to 14 units? 14 units is POXY. Poxy to the point where I actually think maybe I wouldn’t bother at all.

So bloody bloody fed up with it all. I just want to think and behave like it’s not there all the time. Then you turn on eastenders and everyone’s having a drink. Or referencing booze. Or the hairdresser offers you one. Or there are FB posts about ‘wine o’clock’. Why aren’t all these people dropping dead from liver failure????

I have a good hobby. That doesn’t stop me thinking about wine. I am busy (very) but love that evening full-stop to the day with a glass. ‘Oooh I’m really looking forward to my PJs and a glass of sparkling water’ is not comparable.

Alabaster - I too look
At others and think how is it that so many references to alcohol!! Even Philip schofield..an English entertainment hero..talks constantly about his love of wine, spirits, shots etc. What’s his liver looking like?!?! Like you say..all the scenes on tv of people coming home from work and cracking open a bottle. You don’t see them smoking anymore. So why the drinking?? So so many mixed messages. And I think this is why I find it harder to stop..the feelings of the messages around me makes me feel ‘it must be ok!’

Alabaster a lot of it is genetic. My father is 84, drinks half a bottle of wine every night and has done since he was 30 ish, in the past a beer before and a whisky after. He is in really good health.
If you listen to the radio 4 podcast The Curious cases of Rutherford and Fry - The Horrible Hangiver, there is some interesting info on how some livers cope better with getting rid of alcohol in the system than others.
Here in France the recommended level is 10 units, hence my one bottle of wine a week

I've discovered this week that the reason I can hardly get through the day is anemia. I often reach for wine to keep me going. So trying to get this all sorted so I can exercise again etc. I read that alcohol abuse can cause it, but I imagine it also has other cause. A good reason to moderate.

Almost end of dry Jan for those on it... (I fell off on 1st Jan)

@Alabasterangel6. Welcome. We have a lot in common, and esp the family drinking (a lot) at pretty much every excuse.

I'm sat drinking bottle number 2, fed up of life, trying to numb all the pain. I don't want to be alone but have no one to call 😢

Hi imabloodymess - what’s happened lovely? We are all here to listen and to hand hold

imabloodymess can you call your mam? Hugs lovely, try and drink a pint of water, if only to try and reduce your hangover.

Albaster it is very hard. Especially when there are so many cultural references to alcohol. I am a year into moderation and still find it bloody hard. Some weeks are easier than others. Some days are impossible. I am finding the hard days not quite as hard now. And the easy days a bit easier. One of my main motivations is to lose weight. However, I often do the gin vs a banana calculation and have a gin instead of food.

It's not easy but I do feel better for cutting down. Though my app is a bit harsh still. On a good week am totaling 20 units. I dread to think what it was pre moderation.

Dion

Sick of bloody tracking things. Counting calories and counting units. It's fecking boring. But being fat is boring too so am really trying to be thinner and healthy. Only lost 2lbs since the start of January despite really trying to moderate.

Fuck my fat life .

Everything, I had a manic episode last week, did some shameful things, I haven't seen my kids for a months, a guy I really liked dumped me after lying and saying he'd help me with my issues, I don't want to love anymore. My kids are better with their dad, mum has the kids and will go mental if she sees I've been drinking. I'm so depressed and lonely. I thought this guy was the one and he made all these promises and then dropped and blocked me. I'm so desperate for love I had a one night stand at the weekend and am looking for more. I hate my life, no one understands 😢

Hi imabloodymess sweetie the answer isn’t in a bottle or from one night stands.

Can I ask if you have mental health support? If you need to ring your out of hours team or the Samaritans if you need to talk (they are really good I’ve rung them myself in the past).

You need to break the cycle somehow of a negative action leading to more negative actions. I’m not bipolar but was severely depressed and when I was ready the most helpful thing for me was counselling.

mess hello. I’m new here.

Please be kind to yourself. I don’t know your backstory but as zoflora says it seems you’re in a groove here. Your kids 100% need you, trust me.