Boyfriend has really hurt me

[ThisHappysadgirl]

So relationship for 18 months. Normally see each other 3 nights a week. Had planned a weekend together just local days out. Long weekend so lovely day out today. Had planned a walk for tomorrow but he cancelled tonight to do his regular hobby. We went to bed at his and I have just left without waking him up. So upset

Blimey that’s a bit cynical. I’ve heard of this before in my young days where a guy I heard about even got his girlfriend paying half the bills which helped him afford the mortgage having no interest in a future with her and one day just asked her to move out (after several years of living together). I know things don’t work out always but to set out to do this is pretty horrid if you’re not honest about it.

How are you supposed to tell though as I guess they talk about the future and seem keen to the point of moving in together.

I am reading between the lines here from what my son has told me.
Because when he said Charlie was moving innwith his girlfriend, I was all "wow, thats serious?" and he was all " no I think it just suits them to share, as he doesn'twant to share with the guys".
But in my mind I think, nope, that's suiting HIM, not Sophie.

With the cost of renting and house shares being a bit more messy, sharing a one bed in a central location IS very appealing.

Being in Central London means walking to work, no taxis. It's expensive but very appealing if you work and socialise there.

I think he’s using you.

I think he probably is and the relationship was

Can I just say, as a man, please just tell us what you want, don't make us guess and then blame us for not guessing right.

It sounds like he’s not putting you first even part of the time.
Find someone who absolutely adores you and prioritises you.

You’re projecting. She’s told him what she wants. She’s had conversations about being disappointed that he’s not spending more time with her.

What she means is she’s not going to keep saying it to make him do it. He should want to spend more time with her because he cares about her not because she’s making him do it. He shouldn’t need to be told not to cancel or rearrange plans he’s made with her at the last minute and without checking with her for no reason than he just fancied doing something else.

He just comes across as someone who’s not that invested in the relationship which is fine but he should be clear about that rather than promising one thing and doing another.

She told him multiple times previously that she wanted to spend time with him and to be a priority. They had a plan to spend the weekend together. She had declined other invitations on the basis of that plan. The communication failings are not on her part. None of this should have come as a shock to him if he'd listened.

@ThisHappysadgirl

Well done, OP, for demanding better for yourself!

I understand the disappointment if the weekend was planned to be together.. good you went home to get some space..but you do need to talk to him and let him know that this upset you..and you won't put up with that .. yes have yiur own hobbies and lives definitely but if plans,are made he cant just drop them to go somewhere else its not fair .

Really? You can’t “guess” that your partner would like you to follow up on plans made and not ditch her for a jolly with your mates for the nth time?