Boyfriend has really hurt me

[ThisHappysadgirl]

So relationship for 18 months. Normally see each other 3 nights a week. Had planned a weekend together just local days out. Long weekend so lovely day out today. Had planned a walk for tomorrow but he cancelled tonight to do his regular hobby. We went to bed at his and I have just left without waking him up. So upset

Even if I had messed up, I would be very confused if someone just walked out like you did. I probably wouldn't want to continue the relationship.

I don't know what conversations you had with him, but if you were both very emotionally mature about it and he didn't understand or care when you said you were hurt, then he's maybe not so great a guy. BUT if you've just walked out and been avoidant about addressing the thing that's upset you, then he's dodged a bullet. In a good relationship people still mess up, but they are honest about how they're feeling and they sort it out like grown-ups.

I need more information. What is his hobby? And why did he cancel at short notice for it?

I think you need to communicate.
You haven't gone away for your long weekend, so he may have assumed it was obvious he would go and do his regular hobby as part of your weekend together (followed by the long walk?). If you were living together that is what would happen.

Do what did he say when you pointed out that you had turned down invites because you had made plans together and that you feel it’s disrespectful to just cancel on you last minute?

Or did you quietly stew on it and then leave without discussing it?

If it’s the latter your relationship isn’t going to go far. Cancelling plans last minute is rude. Sulking and slinking off without communicating is immature.

Not a team sport more meeting friends and then a quick go at a hobby they all do. He has done this before and knows the last minute cancellations upset me. Yes I shouldn’t have walked out but we have discussed this situation a number of times and yet it happens again

They have planned a weekend together.
OP has turned down other invitations to do so.
He has ditched her last minute.
He is a selfish prick.

But OP says they haven't spent a weekend together since July? On the face of it, it seems very reasonable to want the boyfriend to also want to spend some time together as agreed previously.
I don't think the OP is being 'needy' in this instance, she just wants to spend some quality time together with him.

Safe? When was she ever unsafe?

It's quite an odd set up, do you live far away?

Seeing someone for a whole weekend and not doing anything else is intense unless you're going away. People have commitments. Did he think he'd agreed to the weekend with the caveat of his hobby?

We live close but generally he is busy at the weekends so we see each other Friday night and then go our separate ways at 8am on Saturday morning. That is why this weekend was special and planned as time together

Then you are not compatible. He has different priorities. If you see each other 3 nights a week then to me a few hours with friends during a long weekend at home together is no big deal but he should have said that when making the original plan. Rude to just pick and choose last minute how to spend the time together and not give a chance to make your own plans.

The hobby was meant to be cancelled as I cancelled and said no to things. He has asked to meet for breakfast before the hobby .

Given the choice between my hobbies which I love, and a walk, I'd probably do the same. I'd try to persuade my partner to come with me, or have supper together later.

Was it just a walk locally or something specific like hiking along the ridgeway?

Did he ask to meet for breakfast before or after you walked out?

After

So he knows he's upset you and is trying to sort it out. Fair enough.

We have been here before though

I would decline. He’s throwing you a few breadcrumbs with the full intentions of keeping his own plans. Tell him you have other things to do now and you will talk after he has finished with his hobby.

Like I said I don’t think a few hours with friends is a big deal but disrespect for your time is.

@ThisHappysadgirl
I don't blame you for being upset.

You had plans and he's cancelled on you to basically spend time with his friends.

I'd see that as him showing his priorities.

I wouldn't meet him for breakfast, I'd make new plans for the weekend even if I had to do them by myself.

Sounds a bit petty but ya know, boundaries!

Does he explain why when he cancels at the last minute? If he's giving a good reason (like they need him or the match/whatever will need to be cancelled) and offering an alternative to make it up to you that's a different situation to him cancelling time with you and not even bothering to give any explanation.

How is he the rest of the time? Does he make you feel cherished?

Is it park run?

Do you only see him Friday nights and that's it normally? That's not much considering you're in a relationship unless you have kids or other life circumstances.

All round it seems like he's not that bothered so I'd match his energy.

You are not his priority. Is this something you can live with? If not, call it a day.

Sorry OP but he's ditched you last minute for a better offer with him mates?
He's just shown you his true colours and where you stand on his priority list. You'll do to keep him entertained when he has nothing else better to do.
Don't marry this one and definitely don't have children!
Its a no from me, throw him back!!!