Would you be comfortable if your daughter was assigned a male nursery worker?

[Nervousb2b]

Out of interest, how would you feel if your daughter was assigned a male member of staff in an early years setting to provide intimate care? Would you feel just as comfortable if a female member of staff was assigned?

Some may be okay with it, some may not - interested to see the general consensus.

My dad was a male pediatrician. I do not recall any time he was alone with a child. Neither are NICU or paed nurses. A parent was always there.
Bad analogy.

Yes, there was a male worker at DC's nursery who was great. I wouldn't expect any worker to be locked in a room alone with a child though, other staff might be in and out of the nappy changing/toilet area (e.g. helping another child)

I would be ok with it. I grew up in Scandinavia where this is more normal than here I can recall a male in the kindergarten I attended I liked him a lot.

There a male nursery worker in my DD’s nursery class. He is amazing and all the children adore him. He’s been there years, is really fun, has 3 children of his own and really gets on the children’s level whereas some of the young nursery girl workers generally don’t. Before DD started this nursery I’d honestly have said no way but now I’ve seen first hand how great the chap is it doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all.

Yes, it’s really difficult and definitely down to the safeguarding procedures of the nursery as well. This is why I favoured a nursery over a single childcare provider as I know a few people who have worked in them and how things like nappy changes work. We all know men who are wonderful and caring, but sadly there are some bad apples that make decisions like this difficult.

Unfortunately, two of my close friends have been subject to childhood abuse, one by their uncle (genetically related), and one by their mother. It’s horrendous and heartbreaking.

Having an assigned key worker doesn't necessarily mean they'd be doing all the intimate care, it would be whoever was available to deal with nappies/accidents at that moment.

You need to look at the layout of the nursery and how easy it is for staff to observe eachother, plus their safeguarding policies and checks.

It is also possible to request a male worker doesn't help your child, but it could mean the child is left in a dirty nappy longer if another member of staff is caught up in an activity at that moment and the male worker is free. Male staff members are great, they interact with children differently to women and the children tend to respond very well to this difference. Unfortunately, the males in our society who have caused harm make people suspicious of all men.

Every person, man, woman, paid employed or volunteer all have DBS checks done before they can even start work!
Generally when a new member of staff starts they don’t do intimate care routines (nappy changes and toileting) straight away as all children have to get used the children which is why there is a key person approach so a specific person will be generally the one taking their key children to the toilet and so on as well as completing observations and meeting their needs, engagement and learning.
any nursery I have seen, the males tend to work with the 3-5 year olds where most of them can string full sentences together. Yes men work in childcare. Yes they can be key children. They are dbs checked and trained in that field. And incase anyone didn’t know, new staff are also watched the first few times they change nappies and take children to toilet but this is to ensure there doing a through correct job

No. It would be enough for me to find a new provider

@Wishiwasatailor With your update, I would not ever have left my kids alone with a male paeds nurse.

My DD had 2 male keyworkers during her time at nursery and she loved them both, they were fantastic with her and I never had any reason to suspect either of them of any wrongdoing.

Vincent Chan also had a DBS check.

That might be how it’s supposed to be but everyone who has ever worked in a nursery knows that those is not what happens a
l of the time. I’ve seen supply change nappies, I’ve seen adults take children inside when everyone is outside and there is no other adult free. And we all know the DBS system isn’t infallible.

Nope. I wouldn’t want a male child having a male worker either

Then you have incidents like this.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/crkv0dmjgk5o

My daughter did have a male key worker at nursery. I was comfortable with it.

In the past I'd have been ok. Now there have been too many issues.

No. That's why my children didn't go to nursery. I wouldn't be comfortable with any male except my dh and my own dad to change diapers for ex.

I’m also deeply suspicious of any male who goes into early years childcare. You know parents are going to be more uncomfortable with them being male so why are they still specifically choosing to work with the one age group that can’t communicate, don’t yet know what’s wrong and right, won’t have long term memory and require intimate care. It rings loud alarm bells to me.

I suppose some do for the same reasons my dad became a pediatrician. He genuinely liked children.
That does not mean anyone needed to trust him to be alone with their child though.

DD had a male key worker from about 2 yrs 8m to 3yrs 5m. She adored him and he was fantastic. She was already potty trained by then but obviously if she had an accident he would have helped her.

There was another male nursery worker with one of the other older groups too. I always thought it was good for the slightly older kids that they didn't just have female staff. Much like having male teachers in Primary schools.

It’s not the same though as a paediatrician will work with children of all ages.

Children in nursery settings can’t talk. You can genuinely like children and work with a key stage one class (6-8).

No I wouldn’t. I do feel bad as I’m sure there are some lovely men working in early years childcare, but I’m just not comfortable with it for my own children.

Not a chance.

No. I used to think it wouldn’t be a problem but now my eyes have opened to what predatory men will do to get to victims I would not be happy.

No intimate care for a child from a male and I wouldn't be happy with a male working around non-verbal children. I was only happy with males around my children in setting like schools when they would have been able to describe any abuse/inappropriate behaviour in enough detail to secure a conviction if they needed to speak to social worker/police.