Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

Poor kid. All you can do is keep returning him to his rubbish parents and make the hotel staff aware. As I say, poor kid and the cheek of what she said to your DH, wish he'd responded: "Yes she was and we took care of her at that time and didn't foist her off on other people because we are her parents!" Poor little dab.

What you do is woman up. You refuse to engage with him each and every time, and tell him firmly to go back to his mum. If you can’t see her you report him to staff as an unsupervised child and let them deal with it.

This is not a good start to your trip. She is being very rude. So for a start next time you are asked if your daughter had been a toddler you say that she was - but you would never let her disturb other people.

You might have to have another day of telling child to go back to his parents. Again and again.

Is there a hotel/ management rep, someone official you can speak to? I'd frame it as you're concerned the boy is very young and not being properly supervised, left to wander around in his own which is unsafe.

You need to tell the mum that you wont be engaging with or looking after her child for her. That this is a much needed relaxation break and that you have done your child rearing already. I cant believe the cheek of her tbh and feel very sorry for her ds

Or this.

She’s an extremely cf. The little one needs to go to a member of staff, every time. He’s not your responsibility, if you can see her, take him back and tell him 8n front of her that you don’t want him coming back over, no matter what his mum says. You!re going to have to be harsh, I’m afraid. Awful of this lazy arse mum to have put you in this position 🙁

🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

You walk him back to his parents and tell them to parent their child.

If you can’t see them you hand him over to staff and tell them you’ve found a lost child.

You need to get a back bone in this situation.

Go up to the mother and tell her to stop sending her son to you, it's not your job to parent him it's her the lazy moo.

Agree with others. Disengage, return him immediately to his parents and be firm "look after your own child". If you can't spot his parents take him straight to a member of staff and say he's an unsupervised child who keeps bothering you. I'd probably go so far as asking to speak to someone in charge, or your holiday rep, and explain what's going on.

Agreed. I would do this repeatedly. No point taking him back to his mum if she's telling him to repeatedly go away. Make it the managements problem.

"Your mummy must be so lucky to have such a friendly boy like you. I can't play, I'm on holiday. Go back to your mummy now."

If she is avoiding you get DH to speak to her DH. Or speak to your holiday rep/staff and say you're concerned because this boy can't find his mum. Once you've embarrassed her the once she won't do it again but she will give you evils loads!

Break the habit by spending a few hours out of the hotel if you can, too. Take food to room or go to a different restaurant or pool or go for a walk.

Confronting is horrible but you’ll never see her again after this holiday. Tell the cf to look after her own child!!

Yanbu, DH usually picks up a few of these as he’s always in the pool playing with DC. You can see parents of only children encouraging them to swim over and join in. Once would be fine, but then you never get rid. Just return him, ignore him, move. You have to fight rudeness with rudeness. Returning him to staff also a good idea

That’s so weird and really sad for the kid! I thought you were going to say he was the same age as your child and wanted to play.

Next time he's waiting for you, don't look for his Mum, go straight to the hotel staff/rep and say the child has lost his parents - could the staff locate them?

Had similar happen to me and asked the hotel could we move tables. Child found us and I explained why I would love to play with her it was important for her safety to stayed close to her mum. I told the mum the same and reminded her about what happened to Madline McCann and her child should be near her parents. Mum wasn’t happy but I think she knew we were serious

This.

Every single time. Don’t engage with the child other than to say you are taking him to people to help him find his mother.

I’d also have a word with the manager of the resort you are staying with and tell them what is happening and that you’ll be escorting the child back to them for them to deal with the matter and request that they in turn also make clear to the family in question that they need to parent their child and not fob them off on strangers.

Every time he is waiting for you, take his hand, walk to the staff and say, “I don’t know this child, he is lost, here you go” and walk away. Do not wait for a reply. Just walk away.

Or simply walk past the child and firmly say “no, go and find your mum.” Every single time.

If you need to, you can speak to your hotel manger and call it harassment.

The family clearly have no shame so you need airtight boundaries here.

I’m genuinely surprised that you haven’t had a response telling you that you’re a big meanie and you should provide at least 14 hours childcare for this poor little boy!

you've had good advice upthread - good luck! The mum really is a CFer

Tell him you can play but then take him to reception and say he’s lost.

You need to get tough and tell him to go away very firmly , being nice gets you nowhere .If he keeps doing it after that tell the hotel manager that he is harassing you and then they can tell the parent .

Aw I feel bad for the child as he’s clearly not being properly entertained or looked after, but this can’t be put on you.

I agree with making it the management’s problem.

I struggle to believe stuff like this. Not because I don't believe the OP, but because I can't compute what kind of absolute tool is passing off their own 4yr old child to random people in a foreign hotel and turning their backs, and thinking this is not fucking insane?!

Just how?

Poor lad. Take him over to the nearest staff member and tell them he's got separated from his parents. And repeat.

You'll never see the family again, so remember that if you have to deal with them. Tell them their little boy is lovely but not yours, and you'll keep on handing him back to staff if they can't look after him properly.