Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

Ooh this is a good idea! I feel so sorry for that poor little boy! But it’s so not your job to babysit him, what a horrible mum he has poor thing.

Haha! Youre right though. OP could be absolutely anyone. Horrible parenting- or moreso lack of.

What a cheeky cow using you as hired help & entertainment for her enjoyment.. child welfare aside .. not your circus not your monkey.. return to sender. Tell the child his parent has an huge surprise for him tomorrow morning really really earky early. End of those shinanigins.

I disagree. Mum is clearly a shit parent who wants to have an adult holiday while palming her child off on someone else. We all know the type. I’ve had lots of kids attach themselves to me over the years, but usually when they’re the same age as my kids. So this particular example is a real piss-take.

There’s no point reasoning with her, she’s already shown that she’ll just keep sending the child back to OP. So I’d definitely pass it over to the staff, framing it as a lost child without a parent supervising. That might shame her into doing something.

So I’d definitely pass it over to the staff, framing it as a lost child without a parent supervising. That might shame her into doing something.

@BerryTwister I totally agree. Otherwise, staff will just assume that the CF is a friend of the OP's and that she's volunteered to look after the child.

Makes you almost want to work out where they are from and report to local social services. If this is the holiday behaviour, imagine the home life.

I can't be certain but i wonder if hotels can ask for safeguarding advice if it continues.

Return to the parents with the Madeline Mccan comment or if not visible Straight to the hotel reception.

I do agree but I think you need to phrase it so that the child doesn’t feel rejected or that it’s his fault. He’s being taught badly. Say “your son is lovely. He’s so much fun, but I’m here for a break and can’t take responsibility for him. Everytime I find him on his own I’ll be taking him to staff as a lost child.’

Then say to the child ‘I really liked playing with you but I’m too tired to play any more this holiday. I hope you find some friends your own age to play with.’ He might not understand fully but at least heel pick up that it’s not him hopefully.

poor kid. But not your responsibility. What a cheeky cow!

Is there a kids club there, that's where the little mite should be and he would have a ball.

It's very hard to "disown" a little child, it's not their fault their parents are morons, but it has to be done. Pull on your big pants and bring child back every time. Not just you, your DH should alternate. Mums somehow are seen as softies, Dads get away with being a bit more direct. I know that's sexist but they are playing on your maternal instincts since she doesn't have any of her own!

Be firm. Or as others have said bring child to reception if parents are not within your line of sight.

Awful for this to happen on your holiday, but it's yours to solve. So go for it.

You have to be harsh and hard or he will be a limpet for the rest of your holiday. Take him to staff as a lost child.

I agree with you both.

I would go straight to management and tell them the child is being foisted on you by his parents and it is spoiling your stay and ask them to deal with it.

I wouldn't tolerate this for a minute.
They are neglecting the child foising him on guests.
Such neglect makes that child vulnerable.
I would spell it out to management to deal with it.

Brilliant!

Poor kid, what a shit Mother

Poor lad. He's not 'harrassing' you, sounds like he is starved of affection and seeking it where he can. Please try to see the parents as the problem rather than this neglected child.

That doesn't mean that you should be assuming responsibility for him and I agree he needs returning to the parents / hotel staff but with kindness to the child himself - it isn't his fault he has shit parents,

Don’t take him back to his parents. Take him over to the staff, every single time, and each time say this is the second time tonight, this is the eighth time tonight etc. And don’t engage with him or play with him.

come on OP, just tell the kid firmly NO, I do not want to play with you, go back to your parents. I don't get why you let him climb all over you and suffered the entire dinner before your DH took him back. and then let him continue in the evening? Parents may be intimidating but the 4yo surely isn't?

Wow as a toddler mum this is insane. Totally understand your view. Just feel bad for the boy! :(

You need to do something about this situation as it is putting you off doing what you normally do. Think of it as modelling to your daughter how to handle situations.
Take back to parents with a prepared line. "Please find the kids club/play with your own child. I am not here to entertain your child, I am here to relax on my holiday.
Alternative is to go to staff.

Given what you have said about the Mum, it's a waste of time taking the poor child back to her. The child clearly doesn't get any attention from his own parents, and as soon as you played with him OP, that was it, he's homed in on you. Not the little lad's fault at all, he has a lazy Mum, who can't be bothered to parent him.

I think you need to take the child straight to a member of staff. Be honest, say the parents keep sending him to you, looking for free childcare, because you played with him once around the pool. Tell them straight, that he's not your child, so therefore not your responsibility. The situation is spoiling your holiday, and please could they return him to his family. Or claim he's lost, if you can't see the parents.

I feel sorry for the poor boy, but he's not your responsibility.

This is what I’d do .

Ah I can believe it, there’s some absolute knobhead parents out there. However, I struggle to believe that you wouldn’t just send the kid on its way every time. Not my child, not my problem. I wouldn’t give two hoots about offending the mum.

Agree with approaching management
Do not be blunt and abrupt with the child. He will remember. It's not his fault. There was a poster who suggested some kind wording for the child which sounded nice. If you want to communicate displeasure and set boundaries do it out of his hearing. It's the parents job to , well, parent him really and have a plan for entertaining him.

Concerning behaviour for him to be so touchy with strangers maybe ask the kids school and send them an email

be sweet with him but tell him your strangers and hand him to staff if you cant see parents

YANBU at all to want to be left alone and I’d be returning him too.

poor child though. Imagine having parents who don’t give a shit. Why do some people have kids?

I struggle to believe that you wouldn’t just send the kid on its way every time. Not my child, not my problem. I wouldn’t give two hoots about offending the mum.

I wouldn't worry about offending the mum, but I would worry about a child that young wandering around by himself, possibly near the pool. I'd always hand him over to a responsible person.