Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

Too many words. The OP is not interested in explaining or having a conversation with the mother and her rough family. She doesn't need to engage with the mother at all - she just tells the child to go back and if he doesn't, make it the staff's problem.

They may do their best to be as uninvolved as possible but "unattended child" is part of their job, not the OP. He could drown, FFS.

"EXCUSE ME! Lifeguard? This is an unattended toddler, we don't know him."

"Hello, reception? This child keep following us. We don't know him or his family. Here you go."

No, this is the hotels responsibility.

All this advise is good, hopefully he’ll leave you alone this evening

She doesn't "need" to, but I think it's a hard situation on the child.

Even a small child grasps being told "Go away" is hurtful.

It doesn't make us somehow weak to do things in a slightly kinder way - and when you say "too many words," they could be said in under 30 seconds - and "go away" will need to be said over and over to this little guy until he is absolutely beaten down. Little children need people, and if he isn't getting attention from his parents, he'll keep trying until categorically crushed.

I agree with you! The hotel should take it very seriously. 100%. But I wouldn't be surprised if they don't. I would be interested to hear what happens and actually hope they do.

Is there a rep there you can tell about this?

No good deed goes unpunished, unfortunately OP.

You'll definitely need to put your foot down with that CF mum.

Ex DH and I were on honeymoon at a place in Majorca. There was a blazing row we could hear between an English couple, we had been planning on going out but got drunk on the balcony instead to keep listening to it.

Basically both were fucking FUMING that they were expected to parent the kids as "I am on holiday!!". Both had the same argument, they were on holiday so the other one should do it. Sounded like it was their first "proper" holiday since they had the kids. Apparently it hadnt occurred to either of them that the kids would need looking after!

Had a hunch eventually as to which family it was as there were two young kids (4/5 year old and a toddler) with one sober stressed and pissed off parent each day, other was no where to be seen. Looked like they agreed to trade days.

I know a school mum who does exactly this at every opportunity. She is at an AI with her 4 year old in Tenerife….?

I remember being told when ours were tiny "there are no holidays with children, only change of scenery."

We had this with a little girl when we were on holiday last year. I was actively playing with our DD (2 at the time) and a little girl, slightly older - maybe 5 or 6, came over to join in and it took me ages to identify which couple on the beach the kid belonged to. It was like they were avoiding the risk of eye contact.
It was fine, and we all played, but then she wanted more and more of my attention and was getting frustrated with my daughter.
I asked her to go back to her parents when DD needed a nap, but she appeared next to the lounger and asked me to put DD down so that I could play with her. I said no, explained that I was resting too, and she sat down and started yapping away. Her parents didn't intervene or even check in. In the end I asked her to go back to her family because I wanted to read and bless her she said "But my mum said I should sit with you because it is her reading time."
Then she asked me if she could swim.
I said she needed to ask her mum and that I'd like to be on my own for a little while now.
I felt mean shooing her away, but it was a crowded public beach and I didn't want to be responsible for her.
We saw them again a day later and her mother straight away pointed us out, so when I saw the kid running toward us, I picked up DD and met her half way and said "Oh no! Your mum is all by herself! Let's make sure she can join in!" and we went and sat right by her mother.
We made pleasant enough conversation, but it was obvious that she was hoping for more free child care and really annoyed that it hadn't worked out.
It's so hard in those situations because you never want the little ones to feel unwanted or hurt, but it can get a bit much especially around water or somewhere else that requires full on safety supervision.

we had been planning on going out but got drunk on the balcony instead to keep listening to it.

Just came here to say i would have done exactly this too haha!

I didn't say she should tell him to go away. Go back to your mum. You need to go back to your mum.

It might be a hard situation for the child but it is not a situation the OP can solve. She could ruin her own holiday by babysitting a toddler, and the the child returns home with its rough family to be ignored again. Staff have to intervene, that is what they are paid for.

Poor kid.

I would seriously talk to the staff and say you keep seeing him alone - and that you are worried he might get hurt, might drown or whatever. He is too little to be on his own in the pool, too. I'm sure hotel would not want to be responsible for a kid getting hurtand will have a word with his mum.

Reading this - will make a mental note not to engage with random kids. Awful situation.

The whole point of being clear with the mother is so she DOESN'T have to ruin her holiday. She can be more direct to the mother without hurting the child's feelings.

Or she can say the same to the staff.

But I am pretty sure she will get faster resolution by dealing directly with adults rather than swatting away a child who is desperate to cling.

Agree - I’ think @ItsPriya needs to speak to the hotel manager and it’s up to them to intercede and insist the little child is put in the children’s clubs or the parents are given a warning.

We had this one holiday when an obviously single/divorced mum kept foisting her kids on my DH (who was playing with ours). He felt bad for the kids and a bit for the woman, but in the end we had to say something and then also take a few half days at other pools in the resort to make sure she got the message. It was especially annoying because the spot we had was right outside our room and perfect for the kids. In OP’s case, they don’t even had a child of that age to justify them sending him over.

If it is a hotel that has a Rep there or
one you can phone you could speak to them and raise it as a safeguarding issue.
State that the parents are sending their toddler to you on purpose and it is not safe. As well as harassment.

I think the issue is @Calliopespa is the the Op is concerned at the potential reaction from the rough as fuck family and I think I would be too!

Yes that's fair. But she can go to the hotel staff when the child is out of earshot, Trying to deal with it via the child is both hard on him and likely to be inefficient.

This. It’s a safeguarding issue.

Terrible parents, poor boy. Some people just shouldn’t be allowed to have kids.

Poor boy :(

Same. I was once in a Wetherspoons when a rough as a bear's arse family like this started arguing and the dad picked up a table and threw it. We had to run behind the bar and go out the staff exit.

That said marching him back over and saying "I am not a free childminder" then immediately leaving again should suffice.

March the child to security. Tell them he's clearly lost and can they take charge of him.

Poor poor child,feel so sorry for him,he is obviously neglected.i would be seriously thinking about calling kids services