Husband is ruining our honeymoon getting drunk …

[inkyspells]

Today is our first proper day here
We are in Mexico
He doesn’t listen to Any sort of advice or seem to have any common sense.
Anyway he started drinking at 9am this morning in the drink up pool.
Whiskey /cocktails and shorts but no water or soft drinks.
He was with a couple,and let me go for lunch alone as he was drinking with them.
We had plans to watch the England match ,he didn’t even come to the room to get his England shirt -just drank with this random couple.
I went to meet him at 3pm and it’s now just after 4 and he can’t stand ,being sick ,dizzy and still won’t drink water .
I have put him into bed
In going out to the beach and grab some Food soon I think.
Im honestly so sad and feel really alone
Am I being ott or would you be sad too ?

Agree. This sounds a nightmare. I’d end this asap

I am a child and my parents had a similar honeymoon experience, the sober one stuck with it. It’s tough to grow up as the child of a functioning alcoholic. Every big family event or meet up carries tension. Your gut will tell you whether this is a wedding one off or likely to happen again and again. Alcoholism is not to be waived away, you can’t change this and it is likely to get worse not better over time. Starting the drinking ant 9am and abandoning you on honeymoon are major major red flags OP. Imagine every big happy event in the future being ruined, you’ve had it for the honeymoon, now imagine your pregnancy, children’s birthdays, friends weddings, bereavements and bad news without support for you and lost weekends aplenty. Never mind the financial drain on the family. Is this your future OP? For now keep an eye on him as being that drunk and dehydrated is dangerous. But you need to really contemplate what is best here for you and your future. You might not book a flight home, but be prepared to break up if you want the best for yourself.

What possessed you to marry this tool?

Start divorce proceedings the instant you are home, what on earth possessed you to marry this utterly useless apology of a man?

Sounds like my ex.

Sadly OP I think that is true.
I completely understand that maybe you thought that the previous display was on an ordinary holiday.

When he did this before was this a one off on the holiday or was it consistent throughout... I ask this because alcoholics often seek ways of explaining away their excessive drinking ie "Oh well, I was just unwinding on holiday." It's like they think they've given themselves permission to go for it, because.. "holiday everyone drinks on holiday don't they?" is the reassoning.

But its very different trying to explain it away on an actual honeymoon. I guarantee he will probably blame the newly met other couple and claim they urged him on and after all the drink is included, he was just getting his money's worth.

But I think you know that these are just excuses, to him Alcohol is all.

The issue is, whether you can not just put up with it now, but live with iit for the foreseeable future.

Are you being ott for being sad? If anything you are under reacting. I would book a flight home. The honeymoon is ruined. It's going to take him days to recover.

It is not normal to spend the first day of your honeymoon drinking with strangers while ignoring your new spouse. He has a drink problem. You have a decision to make. You are in for a rough ride if you choose to stick with him.

id let it go if it was a once off! maybe he got carried away / first day etc!!

But if it goes on again tomorrow or any other day id be done!

Ah OP. There are better men out there than this. Rid yourself of him and let him be someone else's problem.

They never change, you'll always be the babysitter to a drunk & you won't change him. Don't waste your life.

This isn't just a holiday though is it, it's your honeymoon! He chose to keep drinking when he knew he shouldn't. He chose to not drink water/soft drinks, when he knew he should. He chose to continue drinking with another couple, rather than spend time with his new wife. He has form for getting blind drunk on holiday.

None of the above bodes well for your marriage. Equally, he's a grown adult, who should have enough sense to know that getting pissed up on the first night of his honeymoon, is not going to go down well with his wife. I can only conclude OP, is that he didn't care if his behaviour upset you or not, and he was determined to do as he wished, regardless if it was right or wrong.

Hopefully, for your sake, he's apologised profoundly, this morning and is deeply ashamed of his behaviour and for upsetting you.

You google ‘annulment’ and book a flight home.

Wow. On your honeymoon? Jesus.

It’s hard to believe to be honest. But I think you are lucky. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.

I drink way more on holidays than I would at home. Does he do stuff like this at home ? I’m not excusing it , it’s your honeymoon and you asked him not to so it’s pretty disgraceful but I wouldn’t be rushing into an annulment. Leave him to sleep it off and go out and relax for a while . Talk to him about it when he is sober and how upset it is making you and see what happens

How many times has he done this before?

Ah angel. This is him showing you what sort of marriage you are going to have if you listen to his words rather than his actions. He either wakes up very apologetic and starts paying you respect or he doesn’t… I’m really sorry. Some people can mask things up until marriage or we are blinded by love… either way decide what you want! Do you want a man child or a husband?

Me too! Lasted 6 months 👍

Not true unless the OP married someone who is impotent or wants a sexless marriage.

As someone with 3 kids with a man like this. Please please leave him before you have kids it’s so so so much harder

Is this the same partner who 'borrowed' the £300 per month you were paying him for this holiday?
The same partner who has a gambling problem?
The same partner who went out drinking with colleagues two weeks ago and you had to send him details of buses because he was drunk and you had to stay up for to let him in the house because he's stupid when he's drunk and he doesn't like taking his key with him?

Yiu can’t get an annulment simply because the marriage hasn’t been consummated. It needs to be the other party and not the applicant who is refusing to consummate the marriage.

Sounds like my ex husband on our honeymoon.

Nuff said.

grumpygrape thanks for the reminder... OP, you have posted so many times about this man, and been advised to end the relationship.

YANBU or OTT, this is your honeymoon and hard as it is for you to hear, your DH is treating you like shit. He is choosing to drink with another couple rather than spend time with you, on your honeymoon.

As so many PP have said, this is not a man that you want to be married to, and I know it is hard to walk away from something, but read back over some of your old threads OP and find some resolve, this man is never going to make you happy and you should never have married him.

This won't end well. Get shot as soon as you can.

Sorry your new husband is such a knob, OP. Lots of other posters have given advice on how to proceed wrt your marriage from here. I’ve got no more words to offer there, but there are a lot of people saying take a flight home. I would actually stay out there in Mexico and enjoy what you can of your honeymoon as a solo experience. I travel a lot on my own, and there are a lot of very beautiful things to see and do in Yucatan (I’m assuming that’s where you are) once you get outside of the all inclusives. Perhaps head down to Akumal area to help with turtle nesting season, they take volunteers for that. Or travel down to the Sian Ka’an Biosphere and spend some time relaxing in nature. Or do a scuba diving course, a boat trip (it is whale shark season,) visit Mayan ruins such as Chichen Itza, Coba, Tulum, or further away to Uxmal, Calakmul, etc. Or explore the cenotes. If nothing else, it will give your husband some time on his own too to reflect on his abysmal behaviour. And if he doesn’t reflect on it at all, you’ll know he is a worthless specimen and be able to cut your marriage off before it ever really began.

Tourist areas and resorts in Cancun are set up for all day drinking and some actively encourage it. But outside, there’s a completely different place. You and your husband are a bit trapped in a place that’s no good for either of you really.