Husband is ruining our honeymoon getting drunk …

[inkyspells]

Today is our first proper day here
We are in Mexico
He doesn’t listen to Any sort of advice or seem to have any common sense.
Anyway he started drinking at 9am this morning in the drink up pool.
Whiskey /cocktails and shorts but no water or soft drinks.
He was with a couple,and let me go for lunch alone as he was drinking with them.
We had plans to watch the England match ,he didn’t even come to the room to get his England shirt -just drank with this random couple.
I went to meet him at 3pm and it’s now just after 4 and he can’t stand ,being sick ,dizzy and still won’t drink water .
I have put him into bed
In going out to the beach and grab some Food soon I think.
Im honestly so sad and feel really alone
Am I being ott or would you be sad too ?

Once again no return from the OP who doubtless will be back in two weeks with another report of what else he's done.

Hope you are ok.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
This should be one of the most memorable moments after just getting married and you should both be enjoying your honeymoon & spending quality time together, not with randoms or dealing with him actually like a drunken teenager.

I feel like his actions are revealing a lot and is a great eye opener as to how married life will be with him, esp as you've mentioned he's done this before.

Definitely don't leave and make the most it, even if he continues with his selfish behaviour.
After all, it is your honeymoon too. Why should you lose out, you will only regret it and become resentful.

P.s. If he does continue, tell him he can stay with the other couple seeing as he so chummy with them 🤣 (sorry I had to add that)

LTB.

This would be bad enough on any holiday but on the first day of your honeymoon, unforgivable.

I think I'd fly home. Leave him a note and tell him if this is marriage to him, you don't want it.

It will either give him the wake up call he needs and he'll come home immediately, contrite, apologetic and ashamed, or he'll throw a strop and accuse you of being a controlling nag who is no fun. Then he'll stay for the rest of the holiday getting pissed every day, which he will blame on you for leaving him there alone and humiliated.

If it's the second then at least you'll know where you stand. Your marriage isn't going to work. Have his bags packed ready for when he gets back.

Sounds so shit for you OP. Seems he has a lot of previous form. Its hard to walk away. No one else can make that choice but you. My husband and I had a drink at 9am on honeymoon. Bucks Fizz/Mimosa. Then we drank water, sunbathed, went water skiing...etc
From all of your previous threads you have married a functioning alcoholic...well functioning when not on holiday.
You deserve more. You deserve better. No one can make the choice but you.
I was in a similar shitty situation yrs ago. I told a friend how unhappy I was...he said you sound like you already know whats going to happen and when it does it will be shit but it will be the right thing and long term your life will be better. He was right. I took the big scary leap. Ended it. Now married to an amazing man who puts our DS and me first always.
Dont buy into the romcom nonsense we are bombarded with of "you cant help who you love". You can ABSOLUTELY decide who is worthy of your love. Choose yourself and your future.

It s not as simple as her not knowing she deserves better. Maybe she think she deserves better but she works from home, said she is about 41 ( in another post), so maybe she think it’s hard to find someone better.

He is also a gambler.

Maybe he apologised and things have improved, so she is making the most of her time in Mexico.

Maybe.

Any update @inkyspells . How has he been today?

Ever been in a hopeless situation without the confidence or wherewithall to get out? Unless you have dont judge. Could be an attention seeker, could be someone living in lala land or could be someone who genuinely sees no other option. Why take the risk of being so blasé?

What does age and wfh have to do with finding someone new?
genuine question

Every time he does these things you lose another piece of yourself, he won't change - you're just enabling him. He wants a submissive wife - one who will accept his very low standards no matter what - is that what you signed up for? Get rid of him, he has no respect for you or your expectations he just can't say the words so he's showing you instead.

What sort of household did he grow up in?

First law of Inkyspells threads: they never get updated.

Id be catching the next flight home without him and filing for divorce immediately upon landing. Please rethink this marriage, your life will be utterly miserable because you will never ever be able to get past this

Another tedious thread where the oP is never heard from again.

Then she needs to alter her viewpoint.

It would be hard to find anyone worse that this selfish, drunken, nasty waste-of-space.

I know loads of people who remarried when they were over 40 (including myself !)

I think she’s either comparing the missing thread about the Wedding where I’m sure there will be some shenanigans that she woukd like advice on or a thread about her being PG and the imminent arrival of DTs Boudicca and Chlamydia.

*composing

But this isn't a situation OP has found herself in. Thread after thread after thread of shit he's done everyone saying the same thing and not only does she not leave she marries him

What are people supposed to say? They've given reams of advice, all supportive and kind and helpful, and it's totally ignored and then the next disaster happens.

If you can get your marriage annulled, then do it.

Hes not going to change, and this isn't going to get any better.

I wasted years on mine, dont do that!

God forbid if children are ever brought into this chaos.

I just checked and she can’t get an annulment. It would be divorce. But, if she does it now, the actual divorce is a simple form filling and payment of around 500. It’s child care arrangements and financial settlements that are difficult and costly. So now is the cheapest and easiest time for her divorce this piece of excrement.

No, OP would have to wait a year to start divorce proceedings.