Page 11 | Husband is ruining our honeymoon getting drunk …

Givingmytwocents · 24/06/2026 11:18

Let him sleep it off and when he wakes up tomorrow say 'we need to talk, I'm going for breakfast - I'm not waiting for you - and will bring you back a coffee and we are going to have a serious conversation about how the rest of the Honeymoon is going to go'. Leave him to stew on that until you come back to the room. You should not have to 'mother' him to drink water he is a grown adult. Maybe tell him when you have the chat that you won't accept playing second fiddle to a couple of strangers on your honeymoon and that if he wants to stay married, he'd better show you some respect and put you first.

BippidyBoppety · 24/06/2026 11:19

Komints · 24/06/2026 10:16

Ok, sorry - just seen your other posts.

January - partner won't drive 5 minutes to help you safely travel when it was dangerously icy, but helped his friend instead.

March - partner said he couldn't pay his half of the holiday (presumably this holiday)

March - refused to help around the house when you were ill, refused to do any cooking, often lies in til 11am and does no cleaning.

March again - partner has a massive gambling problem

April - partner never wants to do anything with me, despite having lots of free time

So there's two takeaways here: The first is that your partner is a moron, and will absolutely not change, and almost certainly get worse.

The second part is that your partner has very explicitly clearly shown what kind of person he is. You chose to marry that person, and elected to spend the rest of your life with him.

Most men are not problem gamblers, problem drinkers, feckless misanthropic toddler-minded oafs with no self control or emotional intelligence. But a reasonable portion are, and somehow some women keep choosing not only to date them, but also to marry them.

Most people get married to someone who they're basically best mates with, who they love unconditionally and would do anything for. They put their husband/wife over pretty much everything (until kids come along and nudge their way into the top spot!).

Some people don't marry that kind of person, but that's a choice, not an obligation. And we have to live with our choices.

Oh, wow to the above. Great informative post! There's a clear history here of OP accepting (despite questioning) his poor behaviour.

OP - do you want a husband / partner in life or you want to be a parent / carer to a man who puts himself always before you / your needs?

You're going to say "it's not that simple" .... It is. It really is.

grumpygrape · 24/06/2026 11:24

Givingmytwocents · 24/06/2026 11:18

Let him sleep it off and when he wakes up tomorrow say 'we need to talk, I'm going for breakfast - I'm not waiting for you - and will bring you back a coffee and we are going to have a serious conversation about how the rest of the Honeymoon is going to go'. Leave him to stew on that until you come back to the room. You should not have to 'mother' him to drink water he is a grown adult. Maybe tell him when you have the chat that you won't accept playing second fiddle to a couple of strangers on your honeymoon and that if he wants to stay married, he'd better show you some respect and put you first.

I'm afraid the alleged husband has previous for lack of respect. I don't think a chat now is going to change him.

BridgetJonesV2 · 24/06/2026 11:31

That's made me want to cry reading what Komints has posted. OP what on earth possessed you to marry this loser?!

Harry12345 · 24/06/2026 11:38

Why won’t he drink water?

Trishthedish · 24/06/2026 11:39

inkyspells · 23/06/2026 22:22

Today is our first proper day here
We are in Mexico
He doesn’t listen to Any sort of advice or seem to have any common sense.
Anyway he started drinking at 9am this morning in the drink up pool.
Whiskey /cocktails and shorts but no water or soft drinks.
He was with a couple,and let me go for lunch alone as he was drinking with them.
We had plans to watch the England match ,he didn’t even come to the room to get his England shirt -just drank with this random couple.
I went to meet him at 3pm and it’s now just after 4 and he can’t stand ,being sick ,dizzy and still won’t drink water .
I have put him into bed
In going out to the beach and grab some Food soon I think.
Im honestly so sad and feel really alone
Am I being ott or would you be sad too ?

Sad? I’d be incandescent with rage. A terrific way to start married life. I do hope this isn’t the way he means to go on.

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 24/06/2026 11:39

Wow that’s your first day!! Personally he has shown you who he is…believe him because it won’t change 🤷🏼‍♀️

bafta16 · 24/06/2026 11:41

Blondiebeachbabe · 24/06/2026 10:15

This is what me and DH do together on holiday! We go to the swim up bar and meet loads of new people. We drink most of the day, have a nap around 5pm, then get up at 7pm and go for dinner and a show.

I like a glass or two....but drink all day?

Sartre · 24/06/2026 11:43

This reminds me of White Lotus tbh. I think you should strongly consider annulment, you surely realise you can’t live your life like this. Imagine having kids with him one day… The man is a child.

ChrisTheBastard · 24/06/2026 11:46

Komints · 24/06/2026 10:16

Ok, sorry - just seen your other posts.

January - partner won't drive 5 minutes to help you safely travel when it was dangerously icy, but helped his friend instead.

March - partner said he couldn't pay his half of the holiday (presumably this holiday)

March - refused to help around the house when you were ill, refused to do any cooking, often lies in til 11am and does no cleaning.

March again - partner has a massive gambling problem

April - partner never wants to do anything with me, despite having lots of free time

So there's two takeaways here: The first is that your partner is a moron, and will absolutely not change, and almost certainly get worse.

The second part is that your partner has very explicitly clearly shown what kind of person he is. You chose to marry that person, and elected to spend the rest of your life with him.

Most men are not problem gamblers, problem drinkers, feckless misanthropic toddler-minded oafs with no self control or emotional intelligence. But a reasonable portion are, and somehow some women keep choosing not only to date them, but also to marry them.

Most people get married to someone who they're basically best mates with, who they love unconditionally and would do anything for. They put their husband/wife over pretty much everything (until kids come along and nudge their way into the top spot!).

Some people don't marry that kind of person, but that's a choice, not an obligation. And we have to live with our choices.

This needs to be chiselled in granite and framed on the OP's living room wall

ChrisTheBastard · 24/06/2026 11:48

Blondiebeachbabe · 24/06/2026 10:15

This is what me and DH do together on holiday! We go to the swim up bar and meet loads of new people. We drink most of the day, have a nap around 5pm, then get up at 7pm and go for dinner and a show.

But do you get out when you need the toilet? Most people appear to be sitting in the water for HOURS

Either way - not relevant to the OP

BellesAndGraces · 24/06/2026 11:52

Komints · 24/06/2026 10:16

Ok, sorry - just seen your other posts.

January - partner won't drive 5 minutes to help you safely travel when it was dangerously icy, but helped his friend instead.

March - partner said he couldn't pay his half of the holiday (presumably this holiday)

March - refused to help around the house when you were ill, refused to do any cooking, often lies in til 11am and does no cleaning.

March again - partner has a massive gambling problem

April - partner never wants to do anything with me, despite having lots of free time

So there's two takeaways here: The first is that your partner is a moron, and will absolutely not change, and almost certainly get worse.

The second part is that your partner has very explicitly clearly shown what kind of person he is. You chose to marry that person, and elected to spend the rest of your life with him.

Most men are not problem gamblers, problem drinkers, feckless misanthropic toddler-minded oafs with no self control or emotional intelligence. But a reasonable portion are, and somehow some women keep choosing not only to date them, but also to marry them.

Most people get married to someone who they're basically best mates with, who they love unconditionally and would do anything for. They put their husband/wife over pretty much everything (until kids come along and nudge their way into the top spot!).

Some people don't marry that kind of person, but that's a choice, not an obligation. And we have to live with our choices.

This should be pinned as the first reply to this thread. MNers can then either decide to save their breath given that the OP still married him despite the ton of helpful advice to each of her 5 previous threads or help the OP work out how best to leave her DH (spoiler alert: she hasn’t and she won’t).

Paramaribo2025 · 24/06/2026 11:55

Can you get an annulment?
Sounds like he's an alcoholic.
Get rid of him.

EmmaB1309 · 24/06/2026 11:58

Oh dear OP I’m so sorry you are in this position. What a thoughtless wanker.
With any luck he’ll see the error of his ways, feel a bit ill tomorrow and behave himself for the rest of the honeymoon. I hope this isn’t usual behaviour for him and is just a one off you can chalk up to over excitement.

mmmarmalade · 24/06/2026 12:04

Ask the hotel to find another room for you of even at another hotel - far away from him - sure it may cost you something; take your stuff, move out and enjoy the rest of your holiday - don't throw the towel in on that. Leave a note telling him you've checked out - of the hotel and the marriage and turn your mobile connection off unless you need to use it and there's no wifi. Tell the staff you don't want him to know where you are. See if you can keep a low profile. Sounds like you've got yourself a real problem here so don't ignore it. Be decisive.

Kerri44 · 24/06/2026 12:05

inkyspells · 23/06/2026 22:31

Yeah it’s a all inclusive resort
it’s been so hot here today
Im trying to get him to sip on water but he won’t
What do I do ? Do I just let him sleep it off?
Yeah he’s done this before on Holiday
promised he wouldn’t do it again but here we are

Having
Been married to someone the same....he will never change, luckily I didn't have kids with him

Voneska · 24/06/2026 12:06

Sorry you are going through this. Is there any way that you can shorten the HONEYMOON????
Obviously: ' HONEYMOONS' don't agree with him. It doesn't look like it's going to get any better anytime soon.....

OhBettyCalmDown · 24/06/2026 12:07

Get out now this won’t change. Annulment of you can

WimbyAce · 24/06/2026 12:09

I couldn't be with someone that drinks to excess, I find it grim. Also it doesn't bode well if he'd rather spend time with other people than you.

WhitePudding · 24/06/2026 12:10

I’d be packing up and getting a flight home. Get all your ducks in a row and start the ball rolling to divorce him. I was married to an idiot like this and they just bring you down and down.

Founderflower · 24/06/2026 12:13

Glitchymn1 · 23/06/2026 22:34

One of DH’s acquaintances th ee up and choked on his own vomit. His wife found the ‘life and soul of the party’ dead in the morning. It’s stupid and dangerous.
If he’s got form, I’d be regretting my life choices in your shoes.

Same. I had a friend this happened to. Middle aged so not a stupid kid. Choked in his sleep after going for ‘a few drinks’

If he’s really out of it pack him off to hospital. But don’t go with the prick

Teainapinkcup · 24/06/2026 12:13

Wolfiefan · 23/06/2026 22:24

Is he normally a drinker?

this... if so how did you not notice this behaviour before marrying him? If not, there is something wrong? Stress of getting married? ask him once he is actually sober what's going on...

Imalittleelf · 24/06/2026 12:14

Op after reading the history from the other poster I really hope you are either checked in to a different hotel or flying home.

Find someone who loves and respects you and will be by your side no matter what... they can pick you up on things but not be little and disrespect you...

To give you a flavour I was with blokes who cheated on me, hurt me and generally vile... I then found my now DH who, after 10 years of marriage, has made me an iced coffee while we were both working without it being an issue or making me feel guilty.

I really hope you can eject yourself from this waste of space. Good luck

MarriedinMaui · 24/06/2026 12:15

Is this the same partner that refuses to drive you when it’s icy, has a massive gambling problem, refuses to do anything with you but gets drunk with work people until 3am, and spent all the money you’d saved for the holiday? You often post about him but then never come back. I think it would be really good for you to engage with one of the threads you start and get some advice from all the other people who have survived relationships like yours. Hope you keep reaching out and can use some of the advice and support one day.

Teainapinkcup · 24/06/2026 12:16

BellesAndGraces · 24/06/2026 11:52

This should be pinned as the first reply to this thread. MNers can then either decide to save their breath given that the OP still married him despite the ton of helpful advice to each of her 5 previous threads or help the OP work out how best to leave her DH (spoiler alert: she hasn’t and she won’t).

Show quote history

why did she marry him... mumsnet cant fix him op... you need to leave him!