Husband is ruining our honeymoon getting drunk …

[inkyspells]

Today is our first proper day here
We are in Mexico
He doesn’t listen to Any sort of advice or seem to have any common sense.
Anyway he started drinking at 9am this morning in the drink up pool.
Whiskey /cocktails and shorts but no water or soft drinks.
He was with a couple,and let me go for lunch alone as he was drinking with them.
We had plans to watch the England match ,he didn’t even come to the room to get his England shirt -just drank with this random couple.
I went to meet him at 3pm and it’s now just after 4 and he can’t stand ,being sick ,dizzy and still won’t drink water .
I have put him into bed
In going out to the beach and grab some Food soon I think.
Im honestly so sad and feel really alone
Am I being ott or would you be sad too ?

How are things today op?

This poster has form for complaining about this man's godawful behaviour, prompting many people to consider and give sensible advice, then starting another one and the whole cycle goes round again.

Now here we go again, we've escalated the drama and there's no interaction with her. It's a sad fact that some women are their own worst enemies, not the men they choose to inflict on themselves.

I am not concluding this isn't real; just that we are all wasting our time.

Oh I remember now the guys a walking bomb scare.

@inkyspells Why did you marry him if he has previous for this sort of behaviour? He isn't going to change so please don't cling on to hope. And do not get pregnant. If it was me I'd leave him to it and fly home if possible, then get a annulment. I predict your future OP and it will be misery, humiliation and loneliness.

I was just about to ask whether he has form for being a thoughtless inconsiderate twat and yes, it appears so.

Let him suffer his hangover and go off to do some nice things without him. For the entire honeymoon if necessary.

Let him sleep it off. He's an adult and responsible for himself. Sounds like a dick though OP are you recently married or was it a while ago )I'm thinking you may have saved up for honeymoon etc)

But, you are in a beautiful place and I'd be making the bloody most of it on my own! Enjoy the food, the pool and beach, book a little day trip - go swim in a cenote - it's incredible.

Either keep him updated, Oh I'm off to the pool or I'm off to the beach, fancy a swim etc? or totally ignore him. Don't waste your time pandering to him. Then when you get home you can have a serious think about the future.

You're definitely not being OTT. I'd be upset too. Getting drunk enough to miss plans and leave you eating lunch alone on your honeymoon is pretty disappointing,on the first day.Hopefully this is a one off and not how he normally behaves on vacation, but I'd be having serious conversation once he's sober.

Welcome to rest of your life, if you don't get out of this marriage OP. He sounds like a waster.

nyway he started drinking at 9am this morning in the drink up pool.
Whiskey /cocktails and shorts but no water or soft drinks.
He was with a couple,and let me go for lunch alone as he was drinking with them

Wtff?????

I would be furious too. And it's your honeymoon! Reading your history I am stunned you went through with the marriage.
Two aspects to consider- one is this holiday, and second the overall picture of your relationship.

For now you do have options while you are away. You could fly home, or you could try to salvage the holiday so you can find some enjoyment. I don't know your financial situation but could you hire a car ? You could find alternative accommodation, an Air B&B possibly? Find a 3 day excursion and go alone. Or stay where you are but book local activities- yoga class or pottery workshop- something that you enjoy..

I think you need to wake up to this toxic man. He is behaving so badly- and this is his honeymoon! If you stay things will olny get worse.

Yeah he’s done this before on Holiday
promised he wouldn’t do it again but here we are

Yet you married him.

I didn't need to read the update from @Komints to know this is a terrible marriage.

You either divorce this man - you can do a DIY divorce quite cheaply - or you stay and have a life of increasing misery and resentment. The choice is yours.

Whatever you do, do not have a child with this man. You will be bringing a child in to a marriage which deteriorate rapidly from its already low base. Your child will be raised in an unhappy home with and unhappy and exhausted mother. Don't do that to the child. You'll have to live with the guilt forever if you do.

Annulment.

If he’s like this when he should be on his best behaviour, it’s only downhill from that.

Where is the op, holding the sick bucket and mopping his brow?
of course she is …

I’m really not sure why you married this guy if he’s done this before tbh, the warning signs were there.

Go and speak to a solicitor before you waste any more time with this idiot.

I’m sorry you are in this situation on honeymoon. It must be heartbreaking for you. You put him to bed. Don’t do that sort of thing. People who drink like this need to learn from their own behaviour. He needs to wake up in the street in his own vomit, or with his wallet stolen etc. If you ‘rescue’ him, he won’t learn and you are enabling him. I’d suggest trying to enjoy your holiday. If you can, pay for another room and leave him too it. If you will just be unhappy and stressed, just fly home and leave him too it. Be careful that this isn’t your future.

I'd be laying the law down, if he does it again while on honeymoon and completely ignoring you to drink what's the point of you being there? Id either be getting another room or going home.

I'd definitely be sad. But also just wouldn't have married someone like that. We have choice ladies.

When he sobers up - would his behaviour change if you had a discussion with him ? If not then I’d probably leave him there and go home.

Agree.
Most of the posters on here are nuts … let me just crack open my purse and spend another couple of grand on a second room 🤦🏻‍♀️
Let me fly home now … again, another few grands plus all the money that’s now wasted.
Let me go off on a load of trips on my own … because I’m really going to enjoy that and not feel like a total idiot.
Best advice I’ve read so far … speak to him once he’s awake, sort it out so you can enjoy the rest of the holiday and deal with it all once you are home.

And yet cheaper and easier than entangling their finances as a married couple and having children with someone who can't control his drinking. I will assume that many of the posters saying cut and run are wishing they could go back in their own lives and take action right at the start to prevent the mess that came later.

Oh it's THIS dickhead. The one that had stolen from OP by taking the money she was paying him for the holiday and he'd gambled it away.

Honestly @inkyspells , if you still went ahead and married him despite receiving a lot of advice on your previous threads then this is what you signed up to. It can't be a surprise that he's a total arsehole, he's shown you that multiple times and yet you chose him. I'd consider asking yourself why that is.

Most people don't live their lives with this level of stress and dysfunction in a relationship. Marriage is meant to be to someone that is on your team, someone that makes your life better because they're a part of it. Nobody that loves someone steals from them, abandons them on holiday and generally treats them like shit. That's not love.

Please do not bring children into this marriage. No child deserves that. He's not going to change so at sone point you really have to examine your own choices.

I would agree. Sounds like he’s done it before on holiday, promised not to again and on your honeymoon of all things is having a sesh with strangers rather than a lovely day with you and a romantic dinner together.

I would be booking myself into the spa for the rest of the holiday and a separate room then an annulment when I got home unless he has made a massive change since this post.

But it’s not realistic, is it. Not everyone had thousands of pounds to pay for extra rooms or early flights. She’s going to need to see the holiday out and then sort it once home.

Isn't this the prick who gambled away the holiday cash? I cannot believe you married this guy. Get an annullment.

I think you should get an annulment while there is still time. I know other people have suggested that, and other posters are saying it's silly unrealistic advice. However it doesn't change the fact that this is what you should do. This won't get better with time.

He won't improve and you will become more miserable.