I am so annoyed with work right now. If you're feeling mean, don't bother...I'm not after being pulled apart.

[lucysmam]

For context: I have stage 4 breast cancer & may not see either of my girls graduate/marry/whatever other big life events. Work are very aware of this & I did have a conversation with Headteacher a couple of weeks ago re. asking for an early finish to spend time with dd1 - answer was no then also.

I requested dd2's prom day off. Answer is no - speak to headteacher if I want to know why. Meanwhile; one colleague currently at international themepark on 2 week jolly that's been approved, another allowed sports day off.

Neither actually in the process of dying & being kept alive by various medications.

I'm feeling massively hard done by & annoyed that a holiday's allowed, but being with my child to prep for a special event isn't when they know my prognosis as well as I do.

You are supposed to have a Workplace Adjustment Passport WAP OP? Have you got one of those?
With a cancer diagnosis, you are automatically disabled under the Equality Act from day one. You should have extra allocated ‘sick days’ than normal and lots of reasonable adjustments detailed in your WAP. Has your HT line manager referred you to Occ Health for the WAP?
If not, the HT will HAVE to refer you as your GP signs you off sick with ‘work related stress’ because of your HT behaviour towards you.
You know you can self certify for the first week off sick don’t you?
Your HT is a nasty, nasty piece of work. I’m sorry you’re going through this. But at least you’ve got it in writing now -their denial and reasoning. Make sure your emails to them are spotless and build the paper trail. Bcc in your union to all this.
Hopefully you’re being guided by one of the paid employment officers at your union and not the in-house departmental rep.

Make sure all your work emails re this matter are forwarded to your personal email. Document up.
Your HT sounds thick. Either that or a complete arrogant narcissist.

This is the most upsetting school management behaviour I have ever read about or heard of, and I used to work for the notorious academy chain beginning with H...

I hope you can get that sick note OP. And never go back.

Sick leave. Fuck 'em.

Ok, sick note sat in my google drive...emails backed up & sent to my personal. Also to union rep (there are two I know - this one has helped me previously).

Fucking hell. This is the utter bollocks it takes to look good to head office it seems. Look like you're doing a good thing for the sick person then apply policy rediculously rigidly when they make a not sickness based request. Ffs. Suppose it saves them money if you class needed appointments as routine, not covering because you "didn't know", then refuse something fun.

Seriously @lucysmam I can only apologise, this is the sort of thing that occasionally happened with a HT, who has now retired. I was CoG and my VC just happened to be a Senior Partner for a rather large law firm in Canary Wharf... there were a number of times, when I had to say "XXX you cannot do that because it will leave us open to a law suit," at which point my VC, would chime in with, "She is right you know..." And we would sit down and explain why her bias could not be used. Unfortunately, sometimes Heads try to go down the fairness route and you have to explain, that staff have protected characteristics and frankly Cancer does not abide by the fairness rules.

If you are well enough, go away for a few days to create space and happier memories. And again, I apologise that you are being treated in this way, probably time to ask for the grievance policy...

Honestly, go off now with stress. You can self certify for 5 days and in that time get a doctors appointment to give you a proper line.

You owe them nothing at this stage. They have been so awful.

Just a quick update - my GP supplied a fit note very quickly in the end so I am not at work this week. Debating asking for it to be extended but also don't really want their "welfare check" bollocks when their stance that I'm an inconvenience has been made very clear.

Every leave request for the past year has been cancer related (so all medically necessary except for one which was a phone call appointment but still cancer related) - I've not had a single day's leave for anything else. And she has cited "the number of requests recently" - 2, in 6 months (not massively more in the past year - most have fallen on half terms/holidays). They're not requests for full days either - they're to leave early enough to get across town on the bus. If they haven't been organised enough to cover, that is NOT on me!

I have called both chemo ward and clinic to double check my dates/times, and gone back further than 6 months.

I don't actually want to go back right now, I'm still beyond pissed at being told my appointments aren't fair to my colleagues! I'm fairly sure they're not wandering round bemoaning the fact that I've gone for meds they don't need to keep them alive 🙄.

Work discrimination and cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support https://share.google/C2pDwEZDRq62wVPep

Do you think Macmillan would be more help than your union? It might be worth giving them a ring.

Your work has really done a number on you. Why are you checking back over appointments etc? They're in the wrong, not you.

Extend the sick note. Refer any welfare check to your GP. They don't deserve to know anything.

You're totally right to be pissed off. Poor leadership.

OP they are shameful. Weak and unkind- what twats. Reminds me of when my lovely friend was told by his line manager that he wouldn’t back him as he wasn’t letting his record sink him too. I hope your union comes good and an employment lawyer scares the bejesus out of them. So sorry you have to deal with their rubbish when they should be celebrating your resilience and spirit.

“Your appointments aren’t fair on your colleagues “

Wow!

how unprofessional and uncaring is your boss. Do you have this in writing or was it said verbally?

im astonished that people act like this !

I hooe you are doing ok under the circumstances @lucysmam x

Ask for a referral to occupational health. And contact the pension scheme to see about applying for ill health retirement. Do not go back. The union or ACAS should advise you on your rights maybe under disability discrimination.

I am so sorry OP.
This is so shocking.
Sending you strength.

@2chocolateoranges I have it in writing!

I know you have a lot to cope with but I would be seriously considering taking a grievance out against her. How dare she!
Glad you.are sorted for this week.

I would definitely take the sick leave, fuck them.

I’m glad you’ve been signed off @lucysmam, extend it and keep extending it. I hope you are being looked after by your loved ones. Your boss is stupid as well as disgusting and I’d be sending those damning emails to HR and your union.

@lucysmam
I love your wonderfully positive and chatty weekend posts where people share their plans.I am so very sorry to hear you are going through this and with absolutely zero compassion from your employer. Sod them. Get signed off sick tomorrow and enjoy spending time with your daughters.

I've just spoken to my union rep - ht has sent him a bullshit "I stand by my decision" email...she has not included the dates I took leave, unsurprisingly. As I said before, I've only had time off for medical needs so she'd be admitting discrimination if she did since her reasoning's my number of recent requests 🤔.

Interestingly, I've also had none of their bollocks welfare checks. Hopefully she's realised she's been a knob.

Unfortunately, I'm a different person to the one I was three years ago, and am not letting this drop as they're probably hoping. How very fucking dare she suggest my illness is unfair on my colleagues!?

I'm also not going in next week to be met with "can we have a chat?". Um...no...the time where I would have said yes, has passed. I'm not stupid & am not being bullied into backing down either.

What I am doing, is having a lovely, relaxing week of not much other than melting! And enjoying dd being excited for tomorrow 😊.

Again, many thanks for the support here, I do appreciate it!

You must be tempted to apologise to your colleagues for taking time off for your life saving cancer treatment as the ht has been saying its unfair to them.

@Error404FucksNotFound oh yes! He did suggest we arrange a meeting with her but I declined on the basis that I will be a total fuckwit & either get angry or apologise for being an inconvenience (so inconvenient that several colleagues have been checking in on me 🙄). Instead, he's going to open a conversation with HR & get their take before we go any further.

Knob.

I'd go in l, sit in the staff room, and say 'please can I have some quiet, I have an announcement to make- I'd like to apologise that I've had time off for cancer treatment, as it has been brought to my attention that you don't get time off for the same reason.. However if someone would like to go in my place and I'll stay healthily in school teaching , please say so now, as I'd love to swop with someone'

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. This is the last thing you should be worrying about. It goes to show you are only a number on a payroll 😔x

Wow what utter wank, let your rage power you. Glad you've got your union rep involved, go girl xxxx

I’m have read all your posts, @lucysmam and I’m just flabbergasted - totally outraged and unable to comprehend how anyone could find it in their heart to treat a member of staff undergoing terminal cancer treatment in such an appalling manner.

I admire your resilience and fortitude. It’s amazing that you have managed to keep your cool in the face of all this provocation. Enjoy your week off and I hope your daughter has a fabulous prom.