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I am so annoyed with work right now. If you're feeling mean, don't bother...I'm not after being pulled apart.

79 replies

lucysmam · Yesterday 19:25

For context: I have stage 4 breast cancer & may not see either of my girls graduate/marry/whatever other big life events. Work are very aware of this & I did have a conversation with Headteacher a couple of weeks ago re. asking for an early finish to spend time with dd1 - answer was no then also.

I requested dd2's prom day off. Answer is no - speak to headteacher if I want to know why. Meanwhile; one colleague currently at international themepark on 2 week jolly that's been approved, another allowed sports day off.

Neither actually in the process of dying & being kept alive by various medications.

I'm feeling massively hard done by & annoyed that a holiday's allowed, but being with my child to prep for a special event isn't when they know my prognosis as well as I do.

OP posts:
GreatOffWhiteFalcon · Yesterday 19:50

Really sorry OP. Could you look into stopping work altogether and spending however long you have doing things that matter to you?

BEAchDays2 · Yesterday 19:51

I’m with some of the people who have already posted, stop asking for the days off, just take sick days when you need them to spend time with your girls.

DysonHoover · Yesterday 19:51

2chocolateoranges · Yesterday 19:28

im so sorry about what you are going through.

if I were you I would go to the doctor and put a sick line in, take off as long as you get paid for.

stay at home, make memories with your children.

Absolutely this. They are shits and I'm so sorry

Larrythecatforpm · Yesterday 19:51

Lucysmam, sod it go on sick leave and take as long as you bloody want. You out of everyone on here deserve it.

notanothernamesurely · Yesterday 19:51

Time for some sick leave

KitchenReno · Yesterday 19:52

Sick leave, tomorrow.

And apply for PIP if you have confirmed terminal cancer and a life expectancy of less than 12 months you should get a fast tracked application process and automatic award of the higher daily living rates.

Use the free time with your family and f'ck anyone who would dare judge you for it.

KitchenReno · Yesterday 19:54

Some info from google.

I am so annoyed with work right now. If you're feeling mean, don't bother...I'm not after being pulled apart.
MeganM3 · Yesterday 19:56

Schools are in a difficult position because it is hard to keep rules in place in terms of time off if there are exceptions. But absolutely none of your colleagues will mind or bat an eye lid surely if you take those days off. Just do it and call in sick. Enjoy time with your children!

ladymalfoy · Yesterday 19:57

Yep. PIP and ESA. I was diagnosed with Stage 3 bowel cancer in September.
I had it drummed into me by the nurses who were running the trial I was on that cancer of any stage is a protected characteristic like being pregnant.
Get union and Doc onside.
I fucking hated intravenous and oral chemo.
Love to you.

Random321 · Yesterday 19:58

Theyvs

holachicatita · Yesterday 19:58

Sick leave surely?

mumofoneAloneandwell · Yesterday 19:58

Kindly op, why are you working? Quit and apply for pip and just enjoy your life with your girls! 🥺❤️

IsThisEverOkay00 · Yesterday 20:00

i think you can access your pension early too. Please look into this.

mumofoneAloneandwell · Yesterday 20:03

Oh @lucysmam I didnt know this was you! I love your weekend chat threads, even when I dont contribute!

My best to you girl, how awful to be dealing with all that whilst keeping us company at the weekends!

Please, just go off sick - you just dont need this stress! 😡

❤️💐

TinyBlueDent · Yesterday 20:04

I think cancer counts as a Disability as a protected characteristic in the Equality Act. I would argue that you are being discriminated against by the fact that other colleagues are granted time off but you are not.

To everyone suggesting the OP take sick leave, a Stage 4 diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean that end of live is imminent. Patients who respond well to treatment can live for several years past diagnosis. I hope the OP is fortunate and falls into this category but it does mean having to navigate your employment situation to maintain your income and not just stick up two fingers to your employer and lose your job.

ladymalfoy · Yesterday 20:04

Oh. And they are on a sticky wicket as far as insurance is concerned. Get your union rep to mention that.

lordbaddingham · Yesterday 20:07

Oh I read this and was horrified, and then realised it was one of my favourite posters so I'm even more horrified. I think this is a dreadful way for them to treat you, I'm so sorry.

MsSquiz · Yesterday 20:08

MeganM3 · Yesterday 19:56

Schools are in a difficult position because it is hard to keep rules in place in terms of time off if there are exceptions. But absolutely none of your colleagues will mind or bat an eye lid surely if you take those days off. Just do it and call in sick. Enjoy time with your children!

Did you miss the part where they’ve allowed other staff members time off for a holiday and their child’s sports day?
sounds like the rules for them have been made flexible…

LatteLady · Yesterday 20:10

This is the time when your Union and an Occupational Health referral are your friends. Have a word with your Union and chat to them about how OH can facilitate a better work life balance for you, both mentally and physically. I have been a school governor for over 30 years and I know how and when to play the system to ensure that staff are supported through trying times. It is not difficult but it is compassionate. And frankly, once you display that compassion, you get it paid back in spades by other members of staff.

Frazzledinmyforties · Yesterday 20:17

I thought I had heard it all when it comes to these things but this is disgraceful. @lucysmam are you with a union? I would speak to them so it’s all on record. They can contact SLT on your behalf so you don’t have to deal with them. Don’t feel bad for the kids or your colleagues; this is the time to think of you and your family. Everything and everyone else will have to cope.

frozendaisy · Yesterday 20:17

Seems so heartless @lucysmam
I would be tempted to call in sick

Random321 · Yesterday 20:17

They should be ashamed off themselves!

In the unlikely event that your union or GP can't help or won't want to take sick, I would formally appeal the refusal.

Something like this...

Dear Management/Board of Governors/Shower of Heartless Tossers,

I wish to formally appeal your refusal to sanction two days annual leave to attend my daughter's graduation.

As you know, I have been a loyal and hardworking member of staff for X number of years, thoroughly dedicated to both the school and students alike.

Unfortunately, thorough no fault of my own, I'm a stage four cancer patient, unsure of what the future will grant me.

While scary and distressing, I have done my absolute utmost to ensure that this diagnosis has had as little impact on my performance, attendence and passion for both my students and my profession, while I'm sure you will both appreciate and recognise.

Given the future uncertainty, attending an event like my daughter's graduation is not only of huge importance to me, but also to my daughter and my family.

As my diagnosis progresses, such attendence at key life events may not be possible.

I am appealing for understanding and compassion, in these extentuation circumstances, and ask that youreverse this decision and that you grant me two days compassionate level to attend.

Please put yourself in my position amd reconsider your position.

======================================

Document how absolutely heartless this decision maker has been and shame therm into co-operating by ensuring absolutely everyone involved and those with the authority to overturn this decision are aware of how you have been treated.

Glowingup · Yesterday 20:24

Not read the whole thread so apologies if you have already answered but can you take medical retirement? My friend did who had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Fuck those people. It seems unfair that you should have to also deal with this crap on top of what you already have to.

Glowingup · Yesterday 20:27

Glowingup · Yesterday 20:24

Not read the whole thread so apologies if you have already answered but can you take medical retirement? My friend did who had stage 4 ovarian cancer. Fuck those people. It seems unfair that you should have to also deal with this crap on top of what you already have to.

Was going to say my friend was in teaching too on the TPS pension. But even if not a possibility, get signed off sick for as long as you can.

itsmeagainagain · Yesterday 20:30

@lucysmam are you in the pension scheme? If so I would be claiming ill health retirement and leaving there