I am so annoyed with work right now. If you're feeling mean, don't bother...I'm not after being pulled apart.

[lucysmam]

For context: I have stage 4 breast cancer & may not see either of my girls graduate/marry/whatever other big life events. Work are very aware of this & I did have a conversation with Headteacher a couple of weeks ago re. asking for an early finish to spend time with dd1 - answer was no then also.

I requested dd2's prom day off. Answer is no - speak to headteacher if I want to know why. Meanwhile; one colleague currently at international themepark on 2 week jolly that's been approved, another allowed sports day off.

Neither actually in the process of dying & being kept alive by various medications.

I'm feeling massively hard done by & annoyed that a holiday's allowed, but being with my child to prep for a special event isn't when they know my prognosis as well as I do.

I would say speak to your union, if you are in one. Having cancer is a protected characteristic so what they’re doing sounds like discrimination to me.

Would ACAS be helpful here i wonder? They can advise on work related problems for free. I found them great when I was going through something before, but nothing like your situation @lucysmam. I wish you could name and shame your headteacher, this sort of stuff should be in the papers. Its beyond deplorable and everyone here would be behind you.

ACAS customer helpline 03001231100

Its free and confidential

Acas (Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service) provides free, impartial advice and services to employers and employees in Britain to help navigate workplace rights, prevent problems, and resolve disputes

You should be able to access sickness leave policies - but they will reset annually / a certain period after your return.

Do you pay into the TPS? I’m pretty sure you can arrange I’ll health retirement in this situation!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’ve been in education for 30 years, the lack of compassion towards staff in mainstream is what eventually drove me to independent, something I swore I’d never do.
Fight this, your children are the most important thing here, not work.
call your union today if you can, then the TPS tomorrow. Call in sick in the morning and make this a priority.

Schools should reset the sickness after a year, although academies do sometimes change rules they should also follow this. Can You find your sickness and absence policy?

I have nothing constructive to add but couldn’t just read and run. I can’t believe that they are treating you so coldly and inhumanely. Sending lots of un-Mumsnety hugs!

Edited as posted on wrong thread.

I’m so sorry, that is awful

And sending all good wishes to you @lucysmam x

Look into getting out of there OP and spending as much time with your loved ones as you can. You deserve emotional support too, you’re going through a terrible time - are you in counselling? If not please do consider that. Much love 💖💐

I also have stage 4 breast cancer. I was diagnosed with it almost 5 years ago. I was intending to carry on working but was very ill on diagnosis and I took ill health retirement after a short while. I also receive PIP. I worked for civil service. Would this be an option for you? I understand the need to maintain some sense of routine and normality, but I would have found working under those conditions very difficult. I can't understand an employer being so difficult and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with it!

Hello,

just thought as well- there is a teachers Facebook group about retirement run by a man called David Fountain. It also has a sister group for premature ill health retirement. Both are full of helpful and knowledgeable people and you can post anonymously if preferred. If you need to think about this they would help you and give the clarity that dealing with teachers pension scheme directly tends to lack.

So; I have actually spoken to my union rep after a scoot through the relevant policy.

My "routine" appointments should actually have been "medically necessary" considering they're what's keeping me alive!

Any pointers how to email work about being signed off would be appreciated. I presume I'll still have to self cert for 7 days? & they'll be arsey because I already asked for prom day 🤔🙄.

Hello

Apologies but I won't be in work this week. As you know, my disability (stage 4 cancer) causes me fatigue, and this has been exacerbated by stress and feeling unsupported in the workplace.

I will update you further once I've seen my GP.

It would be worth looking at your specific workplace sickness policy. You may have to contact work each day, could be by phone, certain person, by certain time eg “you must telephone your immediate manager by 8am”.

This. Sod them the heartless wankers. Grab everything you are entitled to.

Your workplace are MORONS. I'm usually the first to go "don't let disabled people down by pulling a sickie and making disabled people have a harder time when it comes to convicing people they are sick". For this one though - pull a sickie,

Apologies, I am unable to work today as I am feeling unwell and will be seeking support from my GP.

Followed by:

Having seen my GP,
I am submitting my fit note which runs up to … .

Attending on the last day would usually reset your sick leave. I might get the GP to write it for a very precise number of days. Then you could have a full six months on full pay starting in September. You owe them nothing and yourself everything. Utter bastards.

Sorry your going through this
Sick leave as muchof it as you can possibly take due to stress and illness

I’m a former Headteacher and now work in an Academy Trust

1. sick pay resets on April 1st (unless you’re off on April 1st). What I mean is that if you’re off for a continuous period that crosses 1st April then it only resets once you return. However let’s say you’re absent from 1st April to 30th March - you’d get your 6 months full pay & 6 months half pay. If you return to work on 31st March and then are absent due to ill health on 2nd April your sick pay entitlement resets back to 6/6.

2. Get signed off sick!! You’re being treated terribly and I’m ashamed of your school/Trust

hi…NEU school rep here! Your sick pay resets yearly. It runs from 1st April to 31st March…speak to you NEU rep to go through your entitlement with you.

I am in agreement with everyone else here…sign off sick and make sure you spend your precious time with your children. Right now…don’t even bother finishing this week!

Fuck school!

Oh darling girl, @lucysmam It must make you feel so sick to get these rebuttals, in fact so sick that you MUST NOW GO SICK!!! I give you permission xxx

@Siddalee that's interesting - I went back after chemo at the beginning of November & then had a week off with a bloody awful fluey thing. They told me then that I was down to 10 days half pay 🤔. I did query it at the time but didn't follow through - was just glad to be back to "normal" & battling other things.

You deserve to be treated better than this hun, go on sick leave, don't waste any precious time on these arseholes. They don't deserve you. Free yourself from them and you'll be able to think clearly about everything and what you want to do once they're not draining your energy ❤️ we're all here for you x