I am so annoyed with work right now. If you're feeling mean, don't bother...I'm not after being pulled apart.

[lucysmam]

For context: I have stage 4 breast cancer & may not see either of my girls graduate/marry/whatever other big life events. Work are very aware of this & I did have a conversation with Headteacher a couple of weeks ago re. asking for an early finish to spend time with dd1 - answer was no then also.

I requested dd2's prom day off. Answer is no - speak to headteacher if I want to know why. Meanwhile; one colleague currently at international themepark on 2 week jolly that's been approved, another allowed sports day off.

Neither actually in the process of dying & being kept alive by various medications.

I'm feeling massively hard done by & annoyed that a holiday's allowed, but being with my child to prep for a special event isn't when they know my prognosis as well as I do.

And you give so bloody much to them, unpaid, in terms of your beautiful pegs and spoons and crocheted scenes. Fuck them. Sending love and fury x

Speak to the head teacher if you want to know why - that's what the response was? I would make an appointment to see the head teacher and I would go in, explain in great details your medical case and make them fucking squirm.
Heartless bastards.

In fact, I think I would be half inclined to go more public with this. Local news, teachers unions, TES. At the very very least I would be putting a letter into the chair of governors to complain.

Agree with @TinyBlueDent. I’m no expert but I think this comes under the Equalities Act, with a cancer diagnosis classed as a disability from the diagnosis date. Therefore there is a right to reasonable adjustments and a statutory duty for an employer to make reasonable adjustments to support someone in @lucysmam’s position. Given that others are allowed some flexibility but Lucysmam has been denied less, it looks very discriminatory (and just plain unkind). If you’re a teacher you should speak to your union. Is this a private school - I’ve seen a startling lack of compassion for staff and/or lack of awareness in a few independent schools (not all of course).

I have no advice OP, but they are a bunch of utter fuckers. Utter fuckers.

Hi OP, I also have Stage 4 cancer and am working too. As a PP said a Stage 4 doesn’t necessarily mean death is imminent and many of us actually want to work and have some bit of normality in our lives. Stage 4 doesn’t necessarily mean someone sits at home waiting to die. I’m sorry that your employer is being difficult. I work in a supermarket so there’s a huge amount of flexibility regarding hours.

OP please say you have sick pay through your work? I would absolutely first take the 7 days self certified off and during that week get an appointment with your GP and ask to be signed off. Some companies sick pay can be a good few months (mine for example is full pay for 6 months then goes down to half pay for other 6 months). I'd absolutely be using this for your situation.

Sending a big hug 💐

Phone in sick on the day and get a long term sick line. I'm in teaching as well and sadly no matter what you do or how good and dedicated a teacher you are, you are nothing but a number to the council. They will replace you literally in minutes with supply or cover within the school. You owe them nothing. You are irreplaceable to your family and they and your health for as long as you have it is your only priority right now.

I’ve seen you on here for years. I’m so sorry you’re in this position. Go off on the sick, enjoy the prom prep x

just awful. I have very rarely taken any time off sick. But if I were you i would go off sick with stress .

Have they always been inhumane in their treatment of you?

Seriously why are you not on sick leave? Working in schools is so, so, so shit.

Get out of there!!! ♥️

This is awful. I'm so sorry.

Do you know why they've let others be off and not you?

Can't you get a sick note if you're going through this? People seem to be off for much less. Or at least see OH and ask for reasonable adjustments.

Are you a teacher? If so, and your prognosis is less than 12 months, you can apply for Tier 2 Ill Health retirement.

Oh lucysmam are you the lovely lady with the cats who starts the what are you up to wk end threads??
Im so sorry your employers are being arseholes, and to agree with everyone else, can you go sick? Match their level of loyalty to you and don't feel guilty about spending any of your time with your girls xx

Hi OP

I cover for absent colleagues in my school and wouldn't think twice about covering for you, even if it means a full-on day: any cover manager worth their salt can usually split it.
Then there are colleagues who'd happily collapse classes or give up PPA as a one-off to free you up.
I'd be going part time and applying for UC top-up or retiring on ill health grounds, only after having done 6 months paid sickness leave then 6 months at half pay.
All of us are replaceable and it is said often in education, you will be working with new colleagues every five years. So you should not feel guilty it allow yourself to be press ganged into 100% attendance at this time.
Do remember lovely that the unions e.g. NASUWT have a Hardship Fund you may be eligible to get support from too.
God bless and take care Xx

Do they offer unpaid leave days?
I know you shouldn't have to do that but if it enables you to get the days off the I would do that.

Have you asked for their justification for the other 2 staff members you mention here being allowed leave ?

OP don't waste anymore of your time and energy on these awful people.

Go on sick leave.

@lucysmam, im so bloody sorry.
They are complete and utter fuckwits who font deserve you 💐

Absolutely take as much sick leave as you need. I’m so sorry for you’re being treated so poorly when you’re going through something so awful.

Im so sorry, you are in this position. Please get your union involved. And take sick leave. And sorry but you also need financial advice with your pension/death in service

I was thinking this too about your peg dolls! I'm so sorry you are going through this @lucysmam and feel free to rant to all of us, from another longtime reader of your weekend threads, which I look forward to every week. Sending you lots of love and strength and I hope you can take that time off sick and can explore the options suggested by others.

Shame on them!
Take sick leave.

Another vote for going off sick! However, it would be interesting to see what bag of shite reason the head was going to give you.

Have you used your sick leave this year and worried about consequences? It must be awful to feel such pressure, but you need to put yourself first. They can’t fire you.
One of my friends has had stage 4 breast cancer for 10 years. I really hope you find your treatment can work miracles for you. Sending lots of love.