Do 99% of men think about someone else while DTD?

[Salsa2026]

Just that really. Lots of people, here and in general say things like, “all men fantasise about other women during sex at the very least sometimes”. And when I say all I really mean the vast majority, as there can always be an exception to everything.

If it’s true I think it’s quite grim tbh and makes me glad I’m not in a relationship. I’d want a man to be all about me 🤣

Op what if your partner is looking at your boobs and comparing them to Jane in the office and decides yours are better

is that allowed?

Are you a man?

1 in 2 or a third is honestly fairly high, more than i expected. Think I’m going to be side-eyeing my own DP now…

I also said that my mind flitted this way and that. I think you said that actually wasn't what you would describe as fantasy but I may have misunderstood you. It's very hard to explain in the abstract. I could give examples but I don't want my thoughts to be the cause of any more uurrgh and I don't want them to be urrghed.

My mind is always roaming. One of my children is diagnosed ADHD and maybe there's a link. In my first job my boss used to shout at me. I coped with that by imagining the bullying oaf naked and splayed across a sports car trying to be sexy. It was my Riddikulus. Perhaps not a great comparison as sex is nicer than workplace bullying.

To be honest, none of these psychology studies represent an absolute truth. They all use samples of men; you have to be a certain type of person to want to take part in those studies. Many couldn’t be bothered.

It also clearly states that that percentage was based on one study.
There is no way of telling of the people who chose to take part in these type of studies are a true representation of society as there a lot of people who would probably consider such studies uninteresting to them or not be the demographic that was asked to take part.

But apparently singedsoul has spoken to every man in the world so he knows the truth and we can just take it from him

( And I don't own a onesie)🙄

So, OP, do you not have any kind of internal “wank bank” at all?
I definitely do and would like to think (possibly kidding myself? Meh. ) that I might feature in a few men’s banks from many years ago when I was young and exciting.

Can't speak for the OP but I don't. During sex, I tend to just be there. My mind probably has wandered but not to another person.
During solo moments I have scenarios - and honestly, it's either with a then partner or a faceless person because it's the scenario that's turning me on. I don't think about anyone else really. When single.... I might have thought about the odd celeb but even that is rare these days.

I do this.
I'm either thinking of myself and how it feels or thinking about how it feels for my partner. I get turned on thinking about him really enjoying it
Alone I just think about a recent time we had together normally... Or nothing but the sensations.

FYI my friend said her sister invented a term for the female wank bank. Introducing "the rub hub" 😂

(Assume you're missing the word attractive)

Multiple people have told you multiple times that they find the person they're having sex with very attractive and still occasionally think of others. Do you think we're lying?

Yes was missing attractive, sorry I type fast on my phone and sometimes miss words.

No I don’t think you’re lying, I just don’t personally want to be in that situation. If others are happy with that then it’s not an issue, people differ in their preferences.

Right, so why did you post (for example)

"I’m not sure that men who find the woman they are sleeping with attractive need to think of someone else!"
and
"What makes you think that a man who found the woman in bed with him attractive would be thinking about someone else?"

...if what you meant was something completely different?

Not lying .. But not attracted in the way that the poster wants.
She's allowed to want more

Because I do think that a man who finds a woman shouldn’t need to think of other women during sex, and I don’t want that happening to me.

That doesn’t mean that people who say, “I find my partner attractive yet I still think of others” are lying about their attraction to DP.

I just don’t want it happening to me as for me it’s a major ick and I’d rather be single.

Yes, thank you.

It's been asked a many times before, but one for the road.....

How on earth will you ever know??

I’ve answered this before. I don’t want to TMI but I do think you can tell whether a man is genuinely very into you or not. I think there are certain things that aren’t easy to fake.

I would know
Because someone couldn't be the way I want them to be whilst trying to think of someone else...I just know it
If everyone is happy to be sure they either wouldn't know or don't care either way then fine. But you cannot tell me I wouldn't know.

Ok

How during oral sex or when facing away can you honestly know

The one time men are good at multi tasking 😆

If he’s into you from the start, why would sh suddenly decide he needs to fantsise about someone else? And you might also still get vibes from him. Don’t want to tmo.

And the more he apoears to be into it, the more he could be fantasising. Romantic sex is very different, but the hot & heavy I doubt you'd notice. Let's be honest, you don't seem to have in the past.

So you are just saying that the men I’ve slept with in the past were definitely fantasising about someone else. Sorry but I don’t think you have any authority to say that, some couples are very into each other and present during.

To be honest, it does look like you’re just trying to troll me or provoke a reaction.

Regardless what you think, sometimes two people can just be focusing and thinking of each other when they’re in bed, and not just during that soppy romantic sex. You seem to think that that’s impossible, but it isn’t.