Do 99% of men think about someone else while DTD?

[Salsa2026]

Just that really. Lots of people, here and in general say things like, “all men fantasise about other women during sex at the very least sometimes”. And when I say all I really mean the vast majority, as there can always be an exception to everything.

If it’s true I think it’s quite grim tbh and makes me glad I’m not in a relationship. I’d want a man to be all about me 🤣

Ooh, lovely

I mean I don’t exactly think of him. I mean he is right there behind or in front of me 😅

Maybe I’ll suddenly remember something to add to the shopping list. Maybe some
filthy fantasy will pop into my head. Maybe I’m just lost in the moment with no control over my brain at all, all primal and such.

Who knows.

Im sure he is the same as long as he doesn’t tell me, because why would I want to know he was picturing the neighbour or something while we where at it 🤣 much as he would be insulted by my shopping list or the neighbour.

Lots of people, here and in general

So women? Women are telling you what men are thinking? How could they possibly know?

I don’t know what’s worse… finding out he’s thinking of another woman, or wondering what to have for dinner 😂

No of course women can’t tell what men are thinking. But you can infer based on how your partner or DH is with you

Can you, how?

I don’t want to elaborate to much, but a woman can tell how present and ‘all over her’ a man is. It’s hard for him to fake that imo.

I don’t really think I think about anyone? It’s all just pure sensation/pleasure and I’m experiencing it. I’m not actively thinking.

I mean some men are just shit in bed and lazy lovers.

Also some cheating arseholes are the most touchy feely men around even if they are cheating with multiple other women.

Tbf as you've only slept with three men in your whole life I don't think you're very well placed to try to lecture others in how to interpret male sexual behaviour.

I imagine people of both sexes do. I presume DH does sometimes and don’t personally find the idea a big deal. Fantasy is fantasy. Most of us fantasise about all kinds of things in our day to day lives - from fantasising about ourselves making an incredibly witty put-down to the rude client at work, to fantasising about being a better, more exuberant version of ourselves, to fantasising about being incredibly talented and wealthy and owning a Saddlebred show horse called Martin. It’s just invisible thoughts, inside our heads. They don’t gain magical superpowers when those invisible thoughts happen to be sexual.

Wow, I’m not ‘lecturing’ anyone?! Just sharing my perspective . I’m choosy about who I sleep with… nothing wrong with that.

Can't say its ever crossed my mind, I shall ask him mid pump next time though just for an answer for you as frankly I don't give a shit.

Hopefully you recognise that your "perspective" is extremely limited. Probably far more limited than the majority of people on this thread, despite that you're trying to tell others what women can "tell" or "infer".
First - you're working with a very very small sample size. You're comparing the actions of, at most, two men to one other and trying to say you can "tell" which ones were thinking about you and which weren't. Maybe one was just crap in bed and the others were good? Maybe one just wasn't that into you?
Second - and the bigger issue - you will literally never know what anyone is thinking in their head. So there really isn't any point getting upset about it!

Some of the wildest sex my friends have ever described having was with one night stands.

The shit they won’t do in a relationship because they don’t want it expected to be regular.

The ex’s who were shit partners but lightening in bed.

sex and love are very much not linked in most cases.

All three of them seemed into me - I actively try to avoid any men who I think won’t be, as I know lots of men will settle for a quick sh@g and I don’t want that for me.

So you've had three similar experiences - but you also think that you would be able to tell when a man is thinking about someone else?

I would honestly try not to worry about it.

I wouldn't assume there was any correlation between men who are "into you" and men who think about other things or people during sex. I have never slept with anyone who I didn't think was "into me" (why would I?) but I'm not naive to think that they didn't have fantasies too. I know I do!

It shouldn't stand in the way of you finding someone else to shag if that's what you want. You'll never know, so let it go.

BTW you don't need to censor the word shag. Or fuck. We're all adults.

Same. How can you stay in the moment if you're fantasising about someone else 🤔

I agree personally, but some on this thread don’t seem to mind. To each their own.

Absolutely I just like the connection we get I guess and if I was thinking about somebody else we wouldn't get that connection.

That’s just nonsense.

That doesn't mean he's not thinking of someone else though. Variety is the spice of life and all that.

Nothing wrong with fantasies for men or women.

How are you not in the moment though?

Sometimes they are even happy to discuss what they're thinking, so what 🤔