Things you're doing in your life right now that would sound bonkers if you told anyone, but make sense to you....

[HundredsOfTinyWillies]

I'm currently stalking a man in my neighbourhood because I love his dog. I've bumped into this man and his dog twice. I've started going out at the same-ish time and walking the same-ish route in the hopes of meeting him his dog

I have a whole imaginary world in my head where I'm a former supermodel now living a quiet life in the countryside. When I'm pottering around doing household chores, I pretend Louis Theroux is following me asking me probing questions about my tough childhood and stratospherically successful career.

I plan retirement every single day. I model different scenarios with different levels of income. I look at properties in retirement communities a lot. I'm 40.

I would never say these things out loud to another human because they make me sound absolutely bonkers. But there it is.
Tell me your weirdness that you could never verbalise...

I LOVE threads like this. In fact, searching for a similar topic years ago, is what led me to Mumsnet.

Your inner life sounds a lot like mine OP. I will get my thoughts together and report back further.

Not now but a few years ago before I left my husband I was unhappy in my marriage. Before I went to sleep I would imagine I was in a plane crash and the only survivor that got to a desert island. I was self sufficient but only ever kept to one side of the island, even in my imagination I couldn't go to the other side in case it was dangerous.
That 'daydream' doesn't interest me at all now because I'm in a good place and don't need to escape.

I do this too. All the time. I don’t know why because we’re happily married, but I am aware that we ended up together because that was the path of least resistance.

There were at least half a dozen other candidates at one time or another and I’ve imagined my life with every one of them. And a life where I never married at all.

I want to visit alternative realities and see if things turned out the way I imagined for all the other versions of me.

I'm about to admit to DH that i'm going to decorate our bedroom again.
4th time in 3 years! 😳 I just can't satisfy myself with it !!!

The last 2 weeks i've been obsessing over very expensive wall paper. A sample is in its way as we speak. I'm excited to a bonkers level 🙄

I often imagine I’m being vox-popped by the news on the stories of the day and work out how eloquently I would give my take on them.
I then imagine those takes going viral and how clever everyone would think I am!

Also with you on the regular retirement modelling. I don’t even want to retire early particularly but it would be amazing to know I could support myself without working.

Oh. My wallpaper story seems very pedestrian compared to these other posts !

Sorry, but we'll have no need for a dietitian. We have already ear marked a local, retired (young) GP to fulfil all things medical.

How to be the star in my own story.

I have told my ASD teen that I will move to Uni with them to support them. Teen very happy with this and I do think it will be best and working towards transitioning to full independence by 3rd year.

It is not what I had planned though and the logistics and finances are a work in progress.

I am fantasising that I will finally be able to get a dog and other things to make the move the best thing for me as well.

We need to see wallpaper samples before we can judge how bonkers you are

While watching Survivors from the 1970s, DH and I decided that a vet would be better than a human doctor in the apocalypse. Basic human biology is very similar to other mammals so the vet could look after the humans and the livestock.

I go through Rightmove looking at properties in the £million plus bracket and work out how I'd redecorate, do I really need a tennis court and a croquet lawn? should I open plan the kitchen a bit more?

And then I remembered that all the scary AF Crimewatch home invasion reconstructions I used to make myself watch (just in case I held the key to solving it, despite living on the other side of the country) usually involved big detached houses, so I then start working out which security methods would be best. Despite the fact I don't And likely never will live in a million plus pound house!

I love how weird everyone’s inner thoughts are 😁

I am currently going through a period of extremely bad health (long term chronic issues, a flare) and my favourite time of day is when I go to bed with my pain meds and my very silly fantasy book and the combination of the meds and book make for some very weird dreams, which I then think about the whole following day along with whatever I’ve read. It’s like I’m 8 again and have rediscovered my own fantasy world (at 45).

I think that you mean Ambivalent not Ambiguous.

I actually got vox-popped for the first time a couple of weeks ago! I started answering the question and got flummoxed, so the presenter said ‘we can do it this way if you like?’ and I said “actually I don’t want to do it at all”, and left.

So it turns out that’s not my daydream. My actual one is listening to podcasts and joining in on the conversations with my friends Louise, Neil, Michael, etc. They will never know I exist, I hope.

I listen to Mel Robbin's podcasts and talk to her like she's my real friend 'I agree Mel' 'Mel, that's a great point!' 'Mel, you took the words out of my mouth'. When she's not on, I talk to the cat.

I do like having a look at the really expensive properties online and then thinking ‘ nah, couldnt live with that lay out or decor , ‘ or ‘ only an outside pool, how can anyone live with that in the UK , ‘ lol
Makes me feel better and yes, you need more security if it’s secluded and alarms and all sorts. I’d like one with a dance floor and a glitter ball though!

Today it's been raining and I've been wondering how cosy it is to be a baby all wrapped up in a pram with one of those rain covers, and if they appreciate it.

I used to daydream about seeing a horse loose on the road, and I was the only one who could capture it and tame it, and so I got to keep the horse.

I’m in a happy, healthy, loving marriage but I semi regularly look at what properties I’d be able to buy on my salary and share of our house equity. I think it’s to reassure myself that I would be fine but it feels like an odd thing to do.

in a similar vein I sometimes think about the death of people around me. Not in a feelings way, but a practical one. Who would I need to call? What would happen to their stuff (lots of council tenants in my family and I’m aware you don’t have long to empty and return the house). Morbid but I think it makes me feel better that I have a plan.

I also have a few fantasy life scenarios. Vary from having a surprise pregnancy (infertility and have adopted a lovely LO so not something I actively want tbh), a high paid job but one that doesn’t require many hours, a lottery win so I can travel and living on a small holding somewhere. Or living abroad.

In my house I sometimes pretend I’m on some sort of show, so a cooking show if I’m cooking, a craft show if I’m making something, a documentary if I’m driving. I’m very boring so no idea what.

Actually doing rather than dreaming? Well, I had a good but all-consuming career from which I was glad to retire slightly early. While I was working, I'd think of the other things I might do if I could have a succession of lives. Now I'm working towards entry level qualifications in completely unrelated subjects with the vague hope that one of them will stick and lead somewhere, because I could have another 30 years or more and that's a lot of future. Some people do know, and if anyone thinks I'm being ridiculous they're not saying so to my face.

Oh that’s sad.

I do this job. There is categorically no way that you earn ten times what I do. It's incredibly lucrative, but for some reason no one seems to realise this! Perhaps because it's not skilled per se? Quite funny really.

I also spend a lot of time running through a list of favourite dog breeds - a top five or ten. I sometimes also imagine what would happen if I found a dog tied to a tree on one of my country walks. In real life, not only do I have a cat, but I don't want to be tied down by a dog and really can't face the whole poo thing....

My Dd is going to apply to cambridge or possibly oxford next year in year 13. My current falling asleep fantasy is to carefully consider all the cambridge and oxford colleges in turn as to which would suit her best. As there are around 60 colleges in all I rarely get very far down the list before 😴 zzzz

Needless to say no one must ever know that I’m this invested and particularly not DD 🤣

ive just dressed up in a ghilly suit (army camo - look like a bush) to troll a facebook group of mainly male preppers.

when I can’t get to sleep I recite (in my head) the order of my form register from secondary school (I’m in my 50s!).