Things you're doing in your life right now that would sound bonkers if you told anyone, but make sense to you....

[HundredsOfTinyWillies]

I'm currently stalking a man in my neighbourhood because I love his dog. I've bumped into this man and his dog twice. I've started going out at the same-ish time and walking the same-ish route in the hopes of meeting him his dog

I have a whole imaginary world in my head where I'm a former supermodel now living a quiet life in the countryside. When I'm pottering around doing household chores, I pretend Louis Theroux is following me asking me probing questions about my tough childhood and stratospherically successful career.

I plan retirement every single day. I model different scenarios with different levels of income. I look at properties in retirement communities a lot. I'm 40.

I would never say these things out loud to another human because they make me sound absolutely bonkers. But there it is.
Tell me your weirdness that you could never verbalise...

WallaceinAnderland
I'm going by a different name because a neighbour called me that name and I didn't correct them and now too much time has passed and it would be awkward. Easier just to go along with it.

I have two other names be of this, I don’t mind! Actually on holidays a rep couldn’t pronounce my name and asked could he just call me a pop star band and I said yes definitely and loved being that persona😅😅😅

I regularly appear on an imaginary talk show to give updates about my day/life. "Well Bob, the restructure at work is not going so well. I wouldn't be surprised if the widget department is completely gone by 2027. But Sally and I have big plans to launch a hamster-themed stationery range that will make our fortunes, so watch this space!"
I also spend a lot of time planning when and where I will go if time travel is ever invented...

I am learning Tai Chi, going to four classes a week, practicing for two hours a day at home and now can’t sleep because I’m going through all the moves in my head.

I've just decanted my last steradent tablet into the new tube because I didn't want it to be on it's own 😳

When I'm out running or walking the dog, I imagine what I would do if a car crashed in front of me/plane fell out the sky/witnessed an assault.

What's even more weird is that I work in the emergency services, so I go to these sorts of incidents during my working hours all the time (well, not so much a plane falling out the sky, thankfully that doesn't happen often!) You'd think I'd have had enough by the time I get to rest days but doesn't stop my mind wandering to these scenarios.

DD1 and I share a long running, very well researched and established Zombie Apocalypse Plan. It gets frequently updated and streamlined. We might even have a shared Pinterest board.......

DH and DD2 are hurt that they won't be admitted to the local castle where we intend to relocate to (superb lines of sight, formidable fortifications, functional draw-bridge, fresh water well and enclosed market garden). It's a shame, but DD1 and I have reviewed their suitability and the fact is neither of them possess any useful, transferable skills.

There's no room for free loaders come the Apocalypse.

We give the birds personalities here. The magpies are gossips, the sparrows excited school children and the resident wood pigeon is a portly, distinguished gentleman.

Sometimes I wonder if dietitians would be appreciated in the apocalypse or if everyone would ignore them and then suffer from scurvy/rickets/osteomalacia/PEM etc and then rue the day they turned the RD away from the castle…

@Theraininspainisherei get these kind of intrusive thoughts too about doing the weirdest things

I do a small amount of volunteering locally and one of the other volunteers has been calling me by another volunteer's name (say- Angela) for several years now. I've not corrected them and it feels a bit late now but the real Angela and her DH have had a big disagreement with a lot of the others and have flounced off. I can't help wondering if he thinks it's me that's upset people but am aware that 'Hey, you know I'm not really called Angela and haven't thrown my toys out of the pram right?' sounds unhinged.

On that note. I am in my early 50s and have started to do a small amount of volunteering for a couple of organisations in my local community. They are not things that I feel particularly strongly about and I don't do a lot but I know that they have loads of volunteers of all ages and have plenty of roles for older people. My main reason for doing this is to keep myself familiar with the evolving group of volunteers so that if/when I find myself older and living alone I have somewhere to go with friendly faces where I can make myself useful and have some company/a bit of a laugh. My own DM relied on old life long friends, family and Dad which was fine but now that she has outlived Dad and all her old friends she's lonely and very anxious about being anywhere unfamiliar so won't go to social groups etc. It's not a happy existence for her and a lot of strain me and a few family members nearby to be her only source of company. My official explanation is I am 'just doing a little bit to give back to the community'. I'm actually playing the long game and hoping that if I end up in Mum's position I'll know people locally and have somewhere to go to stop me from being bored.

I go by three versions of my name:

1. My actual name, used by most people who know me through English

2. The local language version, used by people who know me on that language or have been introduced to be by such people

3. A less-obviously religious version, used by dp and those I know through him

I like it. Doesn't bother me in the least. Used to drive my mother mad, though, despite her rarely using my actual name herself!

Mine is boring , but it’s how I’d spend my big lottery win and it’s mostly giving it away to other people.
I also wonder how my life would have been without Dh , but that’s probably because we have been married forever!

Do you really think everyone would get scurvy and rickets without a dietician to advise them? I'm relatively sure I don't have scurvy or rickets and know what to do to avoid them despite never having consulted a dietician... In a zombie film the dietician would somehow serve as the community doctor or farming consultant though... half the post apocalyptic series and films seem to have medics whose back stories are first year of medical school or once read a medical textbook, so why not?

Seeing homeless people often overwhelms me. Sometimes, if I'm driving my car and the weather's bad, I look at places I'm passing and wonder they'd be suitable for sleeping in if I was homeless.

Also the lottery. I am absolutely convinced I'm going to win it one day and can retire. I look at houses for sale and imagine myself moving in.

Two of my children get different forms of their names in their two languages, but I get actually completely different names 😂 I've often thought I'd like to have a different name, but it seems kind of self absorbed and attention seeking to pick your own name rather than use the one you were given, especially as it's an obvious slap in the face to whoever chose the name (parents) - so it's pleasant to sometimes accidentally try out other names allocated by random people who must think that name works as mine 😂

Planning a Golden Girls retirement, living with my fabulous friends and having great adventures and sharing day to day. So the planning is the 'now' bit!

How strange my DH and adult DD do this and they said I'd have to die first because I'd be a hindrence and get them.killed 😂
And they laugh about all.sort of scenarios!!!
Bloody weirdos

Ah I do this! I have a perfectly good long term rental house but I always imagine how in an emergency I could sleep in odd places (more often at work and so on than shop doorways) I really don't know why and I do think it's an odd compulsion. I also imagine buying a tiny cottage hidden away somewhere, and imagine the layout in detail, or sometimes some set-up where the kids could each have a little separate flat...

Planning to become a recluse.
Hoping I won't be outlived by my remaining elderly parent and my husband.
(I have some means).
46 yo. 😦

I dream in considerable detail about renting an apartment in Rome for several months. I work through the neighbourhood, the layout of the apartment, and the nice neighbour who lives upstairs. I'm still working on what I'm actually do when I'm there - language classes, remote working, writing a novel?? and I have absolutely no solution for the problem of what to do with my cat and garden while I'm away, or indeed how I'd pay for it. I also work my way through the logistics of various train journeys, usually to destinations in Europe, which I find is a brilliant way to go to sleep...

I'm currently stalking a man in my neighbourhood because I love his dog. I've bumped into this man and his dog twice. I've started going out at the same-ish time and walking the same-ish route in the hopes of meeting him his dog
I have a whole imaginary world in my head where I'm a former supermodel now living a quiet life in the countryside. When I'm pottering around doing household chores, I pretend Louis Theroux is following me asking me probing questions about my tough childhood and stratospherically successful career.

Maybe it's because I'm writing a book (alongside FT work) which makes me think of it but I would read a book about that, OP @HundredsOfTinyWillies

Either a former model now trying to live a quiet life in the countryside or someone pretending to be one!

I regularly day dream that I am a tourist in Jurassic Park (the first film) and I have a load of survival and weapon skills and manage to get everyone out that I like. I sometimes add people to my day dream I don't like and get the dinosaurs to bump them off.

I also day dream that I have written a wildly successful book that is being turned into a film and I am commuting back and forth from my sleepy rural home to LA to write the script, having solved the money problems for everyone in the family.

I plan what I’m going to wear on upcoming wok travels and holidays in great detail while trying to fall asleep, always starting with what I’ll for the journey!

I have already started planning the book. Its my first task when I retire.