Things you're doing in your life right now that would sound bonkers if you told anyone, but make sense to you....

[HundredsOfTinyWillies]

I'm currently stalking a man in my neighbourhood because I love his dog. I've bumped into this man and his dog twice. I've started going out at the same-ish time and walking the same-ish route in the hopes of meeting him his dog

I have a whole imaginary world in my head where I'm a former supermodel now living a quiet life in the countryside. When I'm pottering around doing household chores, I pretend Louis Theroux is following me asking me probing questions about my tough childhood and stratospherically successful career.

I plan retirement every single day. I model different scenarios with different levels of income. I look at properties in retirement communities a lot. I'm 40.

I would never say these things out loud to another human because they make me sound absolutely bonkers. But there it is.
Tell me your weirdness that you could never verbalise...

Amazing, what did they ask you about?

If I was asked anything that wasn’t on my list of perfectly prepared answers I would definitely flounder.

Sometimes when my neurodiverse child and dh are pushing me to the limits and my teenager is teenagering I fantasise about a house just for me. Just a very little, in theory affordable, house with a garden or courtyard where I can grow things and access to some nice walks. I have several locations around the Derbyshire and Malvern areas that I keep quite a close eye on and have even thought about how I might decorate and what furniture i would get.

I’m going to be on the MN naughty list for this but when my horrible husband is snoring and I can’t sleep I sometimes daydream about snogging the face of the totally hot young man currently pursuing me entirely inappropriately for a number of reasons - I don’t even bloody like him in reality but it is like a small revenge.
(Horrible husband because of a long period of abuse (not physical) and being a sex pest while being so incredibly unsupportive and useless with our disabled child).
I don’t care if it’s bad! It’s entertaining!
Other than that I sometimes imagine delivering killer cross examination lines (I did used to do this in real life but never quite as good as it is in my head). This is for anything btw - you could have parked there, but you didn’t, did you? Etc.

I like you're style OP. They are exactly the sort of bonkers things that would go through my mind 😂

I can hardly even remember what the question was, my stress levels went through the roof! It was in Paris so it probably didn’t help that it was in French, but it was something about the local area and I began answering and just kind of stopped because I suddenly realised I had no thoughts on whatever it was I had started speaking about. The girl was very nice and said we could do it in English if I preferred, but to be honest that wasn’t the problem!

As with some others up thread, I hit my 40s and I've become a bit obsessed with finances. I listen to/watch lots of savings and investment podcasts/videos.

I've paid into a pension since age 24 and made avcs on and off and I started a S&S ISA about 12 years ago. The compounding is starting to do its thing and I can see the long term payoff. I work an average pay job btw, we're not talking loads, but I've become really aware of the passing of time and my eventual retirement. My goal is to balance making the dream of retiring at 60 realistic with living and enjoying the present.

I spend far too much time planning the perfect murder.

Sometimes when im trying to get to sleep I plan where/how I would dispose of a body.
Full disclosure: I have never killed anyone !!

My favorite daydream is where I am a young, slimmer version of me, I'm incredibly wealthy and I travel a lot. I have multiple secret Pinterest boards full of clothing, jewelry, bags, shoes and opulent travel destinations.

Funnily enough DD1 has recently raised this as an alternative if the selected GP gets turned into a zombie. Her reasoning is that vets have to be far more versatile and come up with 'work arounds' because there's so many different species of animals they need to work on.

Write a book about this! It would be hilarious but also VERY relatable.

I am.writing a children's story in my.mind, about a young girl who goes to live with her great aunt in Whitby and finds out she can talk to anything. She is pursued by the descendent of a witch finder. I also want to live in a lighthouse. When I am out walking I try to work out where to hide should I see a carnivorous dinosaur. And I dream I can fly.
For 5 years I made up a story in my head about a government department that dealt with the paranormal and unexplained- department of the weird and feared. Trolls, werewolves, sasquatch, man eating fermented, skin changers and a ghost called Alice who learns to operated a mobile phone.

I think I have this nailed. And the disposal. Perhaps you, me and @Additup should get together?

I've had many, many interviews with Richard and Judy about my latest book/film! I'm so pretty and funny, an absolute hoot on the show. Universally adored!😂😂😂

But the local castle is where the zombies will gather. Your plan relies on you knowing about the zombie apocalypse before the zombies do. Don’t suppose you have a local zoo instead? 🫣

disclaimer: I may be planning for a different type of zombie

You do realise stalking is illegal right?

Absolutely ! hang on

And you realise that it’s not to be taken literally, right?

Well I woke up being attacked by a snake which was wrapped around me the other night. Does that count? I rolled out of bed, dog was hysterical, the duvet chased me out of my bedroom.
Hmmmmm. Half asleep, new duvet, string hanging off it.
Send help!

Just spent time with our pet rats, one of whom is unwell and probably doesn’t have too much longer. Love them so much but aware that for most of MN rats are a source of pure horror and people would think us insane.

I talk to myself out loud. I narrate full conversations aloud. I deliberately go for a walk in a big field so I can rehearse conversations I may or may not ever have. When my husband is away with work I get excited to just be able to talk aloud with no one judging me. Is this normal? My husband says no, he never speaks aloud to himself

I pin on local trees, telegraph poles, bus stops etc posters of entirely fictional missing pets. The pets in question are usually ridiculously exotic animals (chimps, salamanders, komodo dragons etc) and I ask people to check their gardens and sheds for them. There are enough incredibly gullible people out there who think they are real and launch various rants on local Facebook groups/Next door etc about how irresponsible it is to keep such dangerous pets etc. Absolutely childish behaviour on my part but I get warm glow of satisfaction from it.

<Rushes back>
Here is my favourite 😃

For real? That is magnificent.

Relating to my username, I day dream about being a top karate practitioner. In my head, I'm a consultant for movies etc. I think about it all, plan my career in it, In reality I'm a portly nearly 60yr, I'm ok at it for my age but a couple of years off being a black belt and unlikely to ever be consulted on anything karate or anything else in life!
Second idle daydream is cycling long distance trips, I plan routes, I even researched ferry crossings to go to France/Spain etc. I've only ridden my bike a couple of times in yhr last couple of years as my knee protests at pushing up hills! It was my teen dream..it has never really gone away.
DH just rolls his eyes.