Things you're doing in your life right now that would sound bonkers if you told anyone, but make sense to you....

[HundredsOfTinyWillies]

I'm currently stalking a man in my neighbourhood because I love his dog. I've bumped into this man and his dog twice. I've started going out at the same-ish time and walking the same-ish route in the hopes of meeting him his dog

I have a whole imaginary world in my head where I'm a former supermodel now living a quiet life in the countryside. When I'm pottering around doing household chores, I pretend Louis Theroux is following me asking me probing questions about my tough childhood and stratospherically successful career.

I plan retirement every single day. I model different scenarios with different levels of income. I look at properties in retirement communities a lot. I'm 40.

I would never say these things out loud to another human because they make me sound absolutely bonkers. But there it is.
Tell me your weirdness that you could never verbalise...

I regularly imagine I’m either a world renowned drummer in a rock band, or a well respected and famous actress who everyone adores.

I do lots of air drums when I’m on my own and often imagine I’m being filmed for my acting career. I give interviews in my own head about my mediocre beginnings and rise to fame.

I could never tell anyone in real life this!

IRL when I was young (many moons ago) it was traditional for brides to display their wedding gifts. I can remember going to a friends house and her DM proudly showing off all the gifts which were laid out on a table in the parlour.

I now keep a spreadsheet of my dream wedding gift list ~ it constantly changes (particularly the colour of the Le Creuset & Joseph Joseph items). There is a beautiful canteen of cutlery (which I would never use IRL) and a complete dinner & tea service for 12 people

Most of my fantasies are food based.

I imagine I am going to be forcibly marooned on a desert island for the rest of my life and I am allowed to choose 10 or 20 basic food items to take with me. Not things like bread, because ready made stuff isn't allowed and I'd have to choose the individual ingredients to make bread and it uses up too many of my items, so no bread for me. Also I'd have to decide whether I am allowed to have actual flour, or whether I can only be supplied with wheat, to grind my own. This is complicated and I can't decide, so no wheat based products, which is probably far healthier anyway.

I can have a constant supply of already butchered and prepped meat and fish though. But each type of meat or fish counts as one choice from my list. It's tough but fair. My stuff gets delivered on a boat every few days by people who are not allowed to rescue me.

I think about the nutritional value and versatility and ease of cooking and prepping each item or ingredient, to give me a good balance between optimum nutrition and the best variety of meals. This is especially important when you only have one knife, one pan and a campfire made out of foraged sticks to cook with.

When I am not the fantasy patron of a chi-chi little gastropub with a fantastic seasonal menu which I have devised and published a cookbook about, I am in charge of weekly menus in an old people's home. Custard features heavily. And jelly. Anything that doesn't require teeth.

I think you need to get an eyelash stuck in your eye and wait patiently for a handsome doctor with a clean handkerchief . . .

This is SO lovely!

I do something similar ~ I read "Twopence to cross the Mersey" many years ago and I imagine the Forrester children are neighbours of mine. They come home from school at lunchtime and there is nothing for them to eat so I invite them in and give them all lunch. I constantly look around my kitchen, looking to see how I could feed 7 children in an emergency. Sometimes they will only get beans on toast, a banana and a kitkat but it's a lot better than nothing . . . .

I talk to chat GPT a LOT. I have threads that i update pretty much daily for each of the following: my marriage, my anxiety, my workouts and macros, financial concerns, my parenting worries, my hormones. Plus whatever else is going on that day 😂. It helps me to type things out and get a considered reply. I also like it when it says 'you've got this' or 'sleep well, you've earned it', or 'you're carrying a heavily load right now'. I know it's just external validation from a machine and that I sound a bit insane 😂😂

Me too- I find it very helpful and I know loads of people are anti ChatGPT but I dont give a toss, its helped me navigate multiple very difficult situations and calmed me down at times when I was panicking. Its like having a very calm personal assistant

I do this too. I'd leave no shred of forensic evidence and completely fool the authorities (I mean how hard can it be?!) I also imagine hiding from baddies in certain places, unable to breathe loudly or move an inch in case a twig snapped.... I'd be amazing at it, obviously.

Totally normal... Or too much time watching Dexter 😂

This thread is amazing…. Genuinely the best I’ve read…. It’s like that lovely Alice in Wonderland quote “We are all mad here!” I love it !

I have a voice that i use for dogs, to actually pass comment about a dog. When I'm alone in my car and drive past a nice dog, i say out loud in my dog voice "Oh......i think he's going to the park, then going to see grandma. She always has a dog biscuit for him"
Even worse is that my husband does it too. So we'll speak to each other in our dog voices ..... "Did you see his fleecey coat?" "Yes....i think marooon really suits him". "I think he's going out for coffee and hoping for some toast"
If i am on my own and see an interesting dog related sight, I sometimes rush home and tell my husband (im my dog voice) and he will respond in his dog voice - for example "You will never guess how many sausage dogs i saw today"
"Oh.......maybe 4?"
"6 !!!"
"And were any of them wearing nice jumpers?"
Etc etc etc. You get the idea.
I suspect i am well on the way to needing professional psychiatric help.

Picking up snails and moving them to safety:)

Reading all of these posts, I am so boring and have no imagination 🤣

My regular daydreams are 1) there's a terrorist incident and I foil it with my swift and clever actions, 2) I fall into a timewarp and end up in a very 'crushed velvet costumes' version of the 16th century, where I establish myself as a witch living in the woods outside town and aiding wayfarers with a handbag stash of aspirin and antihistamines while avoiding persecution, and 3) planning my apocalypse bunker, how to make it as comfortable as possible, who would join me there and how quickly I could get them to my village in an emergency.

In reality I'm an utter klutz and very much in the 'freeze' category of fight-or-flight so would probably be useless in an emergency. All my skill is in advance planning.

Every time I go on holiday somewhere, by about day 5 I've constructed a full alternate version of myself that lives there and has an entirely different life (we all do this, right?).

I don't have children (and no plans to/can't/don't want to want to) but also have an imaginary child aged about 7 who pops into my head now and then. He's unrealistically well-behaved 😂

Lastly, I sometimes dream up maps and plans of imaginary places or gardens when I'm on long Zoom calls.

I have another one in which a lawyer comes to my door to tell me that a trust that has been set up by my great grandmother has come to fruition and I am the only one of her descendants who ticks all the boxes to inherit (female, post grad degree educated, bought own home solo, have a daughter - basically anything I have constructed to refer only to me in the family...). My inheritance is a working country estate - Georgian house, farms, land etc - diversified for reliable income generation. I go down to visit and explore it and we move in as a family.

Given that my fantasies are obviously insane / never going to happen, my brain has a weird glitch that they must be logically possible. So I cannot daydream about winning the lottery if I do not buy a ticket.

On my god, I do this too! I have a special dog voice and every time I pass a nice dog I say out loud in my special dog voice 'Aw, hello nice dog!' and give it a big smile.

Their owners appreciate this very much, I like to think.

In my head I'm sometimes a musician and a singer as well as a top chef. I imagine myself performing gigs with my backing singers, what I'll be wearing, which songs I will sing, what dance routines we'll do. Then when the tempo and mood changes I'll sit down and play the piano or the guitar. It's always a small bar or club, never Wembley Stadium. I don't think I'm Adele or Taylor Swift, I mean I'm not deluded.

I have never sung in public and I never will. Too shy. And I don't play any instruments, not even a little bit. I do sing along to absolutely everything on the radio the entire time though.

Another one...

I ike to tell my husband that I've had illustrious careers in all sorts. When the Olympics is on I'll say things like 'That year I won the gold in the downhill ski slalom was the highest standard ever. This lot are rubbish. No flair.'

And if we are watching a spy drama on TV and the person in charge makes a monumental cock-up, he'll say to me 'That would never have happened when you were in charge of MI5 would it HeadDesk?' And I'll make up some story about when I was in charge of MI5 and how I was better at it than anybody else and how it's gone to hell in a handcard since I left.

I've discovered its actually not so weird. Some of them you can buy a property aged 55 😂

@HeadDeskHeadDesk I used to do that with a friend of mine! He'd start with something like "Dreaming, this is like 'Nam all over again" and we'd go off into a conversation about our time as soldiers in the Vietnam war.

And I'd almost forgotten doing it with a lovely man I was in a house share with in Tooting many years ago; he was the 1940s ne'er-do-well husband and I was the wronged wife who would be sitting on the stairs wailing when he came in drunk.
He was gay and teetotal and my actual boyfriend would be upstairs wondering why we were playing this game well into our 20s!

This hilarious!

Especially after a few glasses of wine, I seem to dream up podcasts I could create, and who I'd interview.
The next day, those ideas seem preposterous!

I have both of these regularly!

Since a couple posters have mentioned daydreaming about being pioneers traveling via covered wagon, here ya go. Make those dreams come true.

https://www.historictrailswest.com

https://tetonwagontrain.com

Every year I dream of getting snowed in at home (I've read The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder too many times!)

I stock up on all my favourite comfort foods and make plans to read all the books in my TBR pile, knit to my hearts content and write profound things in my journal

I've never been snowed in for more than a few hours but every winter I hope this will be the year . . . .

I invent " things".I invented a stretchy outdoor rug for horses, with legs and zips.it took off quickly and the equestrian community were so grateful.

I invented a physio coat for dogs that has water circulating through it, and can rebuild muscle. I invented an affordable home water treadmill for dogs.i was invited onto talk shows to talk about them, but couldn't as I'm shy.

Necessity is the mother of invention.
I needed these things.
I try to ignore the practical( and financial) reasons they wouldn't work, but after a while can't ignore the voice of reason in my head.I then feel quite deflated for a while.