Things you're doing in your life right now that would sound bonkers if you told anyone, but make sense to you....

[HundredsOfTinyWillies]

I'm currently stalking a man in my neighbourhood because I love his dog. I've bumped into this man and his dog twice. I've started going out at the same-ish time and walking the same-ish route in the hopes of meeting him his dog

I have a whole imaginary world in my head where I'm a former supermodel now living a quiet life in the countryside. When I'm pottering around doing household chores, I pretend Louis Theroux is following me asking me probing questions about my tough childhood and stratospherically successful career.

I plan retirement every single day. I model different scenarios with different levels of income. I look at properties in retirement communities a lot. I'm 40.

I would never say these things out loud to another human because they make me sound absolutely bonkers. But there it is.
Tell me your weirdness that you could never verbalise...

I’ve also read that book too often . I thought a lot about it during lockdown. My family savoured good TV series watching 1 episode a week rather than binging. We rationed them just like Ma did with Mrs Brewster’s newspaper stories that came out of the barrel (if I’ve remembered that right)
I too would be happy to knit all winter.
And don’t get me started on growing and storing pumpkins!!

This is such a funny thread. So many wonderfully vivid imaginations.

I can't find the post now but yesterday someone commented about enjoying getting up at 4.30am to have a quiet brew before their DH got up.

To that poster - I get this totally. My dog was really ill a few summers ago and used to get up at all hours, including at sunrise around 4am. When it became clear she was going to be okay but still used to get up super early, I really enjoyed it. It was so quiet and felt like it was just me and her alone in the whole universe.

Sometimes nights I think I'd love to get up super early the next morning. But I never wake up before 7am and, if I did, I'd never force the dog to get up that early (she sleeps beside me in bed).

But I totally get the appeal if super early mornings.

Totally get this - my 'go to sleep' thing is to continue a long running story / film script about the life I would love to have lived (may include certain 'friends' such as previous heart throbs over the years), unfortunately I tend to fall asleep before they fall in love with me, lol - but it beats Nytol....) ha. 😀(I also look like Sophie Marceau in these film scripts!!!).

I have invented an inflatable suit that you blow into, and your breath keeps you warm in freezing conditions. DH has tried to explain why it wouldn't work, or at least not for very long, but wtf would he know. 🤷‍♀️

Like some posters upthread I fantasize about what I would do if I won Lotto. (As I dont even do it there is fat chance but anyone can dream)

I would like to walk out of this house, change my name, go somewhere else (probably another country) and just leave it all behind. Just leave my possessions, my responsibilities, my bills and everything for someone else to clear up and cope with. It would be like starting again.

The ironic thing is that I did this in real life (to some extent) when I left the city of my birth and went to uni as a mature student. I changed my name. I left a big rates bill behind as I didnt agree with the system. I also left behind some unsatisfactory relationships.

I spend my time on ESPC (Scottish rightmove) looking at a) properties we can afford and b) properties we will be able to afford if family inheritance goes to plan…

I know this sounds awful. I am really fearing a specific death and I think it helps me process it. Also, best case scenario is that inheritance actually goes on care home fees for a longer life!

I’d have done this too. And probably put googly eyes on him and given him a name….

I've found my people!

I've also created a complex and alternative world in my head that's been going on for years now. In it I am married to the lead singer of one of my teenage favourite rock bands. We met when I was the lead singer in my own band. My own music career was short lived and we only released two albums (critically acclaimed of course) before I fell unexpectedly pregnant quite young with our first child.

We then had three children and of course I have the names and birthdays in my head. I then went and set up my multi million pound fashion empire designing alternative clothing and products. I live a comfortable life, have a big house, however there have been on-going dramas within my life to make it all the exciting. I am revered in the world's of alternative music and fashion but I'm a very private person and rarely give interviews. Which is why the Netflix 3 part series into my life is highly anticipated and will be yet another critically acclaimed success to add to my bow 😂.

I don't think the rightmove and looking at multi million pound houses is quite as bonkers. I remember both me and my best friend were selling our houses at the same time and rather than discuss properties we wanted to buy within our price range, we'd regularly send each other links to £1 million + homes with vast amount of land and bedrooms as if we were genuinely going to buy them. Complete with lengthy discussions on decor as well.

Maybe I'm just friends with bonkers people.

I love this!❤️🤣

To get to sleep at night I may or not have the following fantasies.......

I'm a leader singer in a band playing in a pub (why its that and not a full arena I don't know) and all the people I know are there and surprised at how good I am at performing. I even do the moves, decide what I'm wearing etc and decide on one song.

The other is that I've left my dh and moved into a small detached house and its immaculately tidy. My dh turns to see the dcs just as I'm leavingvthe house to go out in my new car. My now ex looks annoyed. I look gorgeous and smile happily. I'm not the tiniest and it drives him to distraction and is always saying I'll never change etc so would be a real kick in the teeth. One day......

And I also wonder about the plane crash too. If I ever see a plane flying high, I always like to use flight radar to see where the plane is going and imagine if it just crashed and fell out the sky. What would it be like to just watch it crash?

In reality though, I did actually used to work with someone who was in Lockerbie the day the plane crashed there. The whole thing sounded beyond terrifying and he said they thought a nuclear bomb had gone off at first. He still attended the memorials many years later and I worked with him when the Malaysian jet was shot down in 2014 and I knew he found the news stories about that quite traumatic.

I wonder if people like the Beckhams get fed up of their immense wealth, fame and privileges and fantasise of a life in suburbia living in a semi-detached, doinf the weekly Tesco shop and remembering which day it is for the recycling to go out.

Probably not 😂

I've spent a decent amount of time this morning looking at country houses for sale. I live in a council flat. The closest I'll get to owning a country house is buying a new shed for the allotment.
I have still made a shortlist and decided on an outdoor heated pool.

What did we all do before Rightmove?!!!

Looking in estate agents windows isn't the same

I can remember years ago looking through glossy magazines in the newsagents and looking at the very limited photos, but Rightmove has so much more. I love the floor plans and videos. Also love checking on Zoopla house prices to see what the house looked like the previous time it was sold. Sad I know . . .

This.

I walk away from every thing I owe and own and every bill. I go and live in the sun. Delete every SM account, Disconnect phone. There would only be maybe 1 or 2 people who i would tell. But then I could never come back

Make faces at myself in the mirror in the morning and sing stupid made up songs.

Oh I know! Hours wasted away looking through completely unaffordable properties!

This must ramp up if you're retired if my mum is anything to go buy. The sheer knowledge and expert opinion (gleamed from hours from watching property programmes) my mum has on properties in our local area is quite phenomenal. Even worse if it's a house for sale in my street or hers. There's a house in my street that's been up for sale now for over two years and I swear my mum checks up on this every week complete with running commentary on the interior of it. I'm half suprised she's not there giving the tours of it!

Since I cant stop myself now. I also had another long running fantasy where I was a member of a royal family. Not ours as they're a bit bonkers but some other non specified royal family. Not the queen but senior enough to still benefit from all the wealth and privileges. I've done extensive research into the appropriate names I'd name my kids, thought a great deal about what causes I'd champion and spent hours trawling through designer websites to curate my outfits for my engagements.

I'm a staunch republican in real life so I've no idea why I take pleasure in this fantasy. Maybe it's the idea of having vast access to money, nannies, chefs, large houses and having to do fuck all for it that appeals to me!

I dream of moving to France - not possible just now because of work, DS, etc, but maybe in the next decade. I base most decisions - big and small - on whether they will help me get there. For example, stay in current job as pension good, listen to French radio to brush up skills, go for a run because I want to be healthy enough to go, don't buy random item because it will be one more thing to have to pack.

i call it real estate porn… the only porn I’m into!!! 🤣🤣

I don't think the Rightmove thing is weird, most people I know do it. I do think its a bit far when I actually feel miffed for days when my chosen mansion or witches cottage gets bought by someone else.

But now I have a new Lotto fantasy of funding genetic research into producing chicken sized T rex for the exotic pet market. Of course they would be very friendly to humans and like being pets, and I might want to make them vegetarian to protect cats and other wildlife.

Make mine a Protoceratops, please. Veggie and as I said up thread, my fave dino going way back (doesn't everyone have a favourite dinosaur?). Maybe a female, I'd call her Penelope, Penny for short. I'm sure she'd get on well with our whippet. I can just see the pair snuggled up together. 🥰

My dog and I chat all day long, but in the most disgusting sweary language.

I have no idea why but it really cheers me up.