Would paramedics refer me to social services if they didnt ask me anything

[Sophie2082]

Flat is very messy as husband is extremely poorly. Kitchen has dirty dishes. I am doing it on my own and baby is a velcro 9 month old and breastfeeds on demand. Typing this while he is suckling from me. Husband is so poorly he keeps vomitting into a baby potty (obviously never been used by baby, i just got it in advance)

He called the ambulance v early in the morning. He is sleeping in the spare room which has the baby changing table, baby wardrobe and a playmat with toys on the floor (noticed after paramedics left there was a cable on the floor). Honestly baby moves v slowly and i am usually with baby so will carry him off when he touches anything he shouldnt. He cosleeps with me in the master bedroom and the cot is full of clean clothes ( i put away some when i get a moment). Baby has never slept in it as he cosleeps (of course the ambulance staff dont know that but i think they saw it while standing in hallway).

They took husband away in ambulance, he honestly wasnt very lucid and kept saying he has a learning disability which means he cant reach his GP so no records of thr GP appointment. Truth is he has private health insurance so usually goes for private medical care do a & e staff can't see any records. He doesnt have a learning disability but has been diagnosed with adhd and he got a private antibiotics prescription yesterday.

They took my husband and left me with baby. No questions asked about baby but they did see baby as i was carrying him while talking to them.

I think you would find looking at the 'clutter image rating scale' helpful to get a handle on how bad or not your home is.

H - Hoarding - NFRS see this link for an explanation.

I wasn't asking if they'd seen it.

But you're clearly unhappy with the state of your home.

Is there anyone who could come and mind the baby while you get it sorted?

I'm sure you'll feel much happier.

Right now take your child and put him in his cot with a couple of toys and take a half an hour. Have a cup of coffee something to eat and start tidying the messiest room.

I am with the baby. He is recovering from the virus so my husband wouldnt want me to be there with baby.

Last night hubby even made me cancel a baby class on saturday cos he thought that baby needed to be at home resting. Even though baby has no temperature and is well.

I will go and pick him up though with the baby because needs must.

There is something so odd about this posting style. You don’t sound well, OP.

It reminds me of another poster with a similar tone who couldn't cope with two children at once, lived in central London and whose DH had quite serious mental health issues as did she.

Is this your first baby?

It is probably the sleep deprivation with a poorly DH and baby. I'd say focus on resting where you can today OP!

I agree.

Re baby at NINE MONTHS - mine at this age was a ''greedy'' baby - over weight but he had a bottle - which he could easily feed himself - why don't you try that?? You will be in same room so he won't choke etc!. Also breakfast, lunch and dinner as well so not ''hungry'' at all.

He can get a taxi.
He is ancadult

Ok something doesn’t sound right here.

A 9 month old baby cluster feeding for comfort. In paediatric care not long ago.

A husband lying about having a disability.

Neither parent being able to access the NHS despite having a very small child.

Husband cancelling baby activities for a baby without wife agreeing.

House so messy parents are worried.

If this is real then yes I would not be surprised if a referral is made. It all just sounds completely chaotic.

And I know it’s difficult but surely now your DH is in hospital and you’re not worrying about/ caring for him, you can sort the place out? Either whilst baby naps or once they are in bed. Don’t worry about selling stuff unless it’s worth a lot of money, just bag it up for charity/ rubbish. Then it sounds like both you and your DH might benefit from some early help to get the baby into a better feeding routine and work out what’s happening with your DH’s mental health. I’d suggest you go to your GP together and explain the whole picture.

He was in paedatric a & e for a virus. Discharged on same day.

I dont know where you are but in london right now, gp ignores you so the only option is private healthcare or we go to paedaetric a & e in uclh which is excellent. Just walk in and will get seen. They told me we were righy to bring him in as he had a temperature but they had no concerns

Ii did agree to him cancelling it but my point was my husband doesnt want him to be out to the extent we are cancelling a baby class so far in advance! That is why i cant be at a & e with my husband as i have to look after baby.

Your DH comes across as a controlling hypochondriac. Lying about a learning difficulty, racking up 30k in medical expenses, demanding the baby stays inside to 'rest' when they're well enough to go & calling an ambulance for what seems like a stomach bug. Are you happy op? Are you feeling well mentally?

As an aside, HCA Healthcare is the insurance provider - they pay the bills - and so of course they don’t contact your NHS GP themselves. But the medical staff to whom your husband has been referred absolutely will send copies of all notes and correspondence to your NHS GP.

Is this a wind up? Do you honestly think that paramedics police the tidy mess of your house.

OP if you think they do or that the pic you showed of the room is a social services referral I would suggest you need to speak to someone professionally.

The medical specialists say otherwise.

The healthcare insurance company approved all the treatments and paid for them.

I'm sorry - your husband called an ambulance for a vomiting bug? FFS. Unless there is something you are leaving out that is ridiculous.

I had a vomiting bug last month. I vomited for three days straight and I am EBF my baby. I called 111 who then referred me to the hospital for assessment and I ended up on a drip for dehydration.

Not to say woe is me but at no point was I about to call an ambulance. Jeez. Again unless you've left something out there is no way an ambulance should be called for an health adult with diarrhea and vomiting.

So you do actually have a GP?
How do they ignore you? Maybe they just don’t engage at the level your dh would like, if he’s such a hypochondriac that he’s racked up thirty grands worth of medical tests which have so far failed to find anything actually wrong with him?
Surely they don’t ignore you requesting an appointment for an unwell baby?!
None of this sounds right

He was very poorly and the paramedics said he was right to have called them. He does have a medical history which i mentioned earlier.

People lie on here, SS will care if your house is messy, it’s actually one of the main things they look for.

The specialists say otherwise?
But they haven’t found anything wrong, have they?
Do you think he has something so outlandish that it’s as yet unknown to medical science?

They do ignore me. They refuse to return our calls and tell us to go to a & e. Which we do.

Actually they have found stuff about my husband and he is going through cbt. Its just not relevant to this discussion. Except that he has health issues beyond this incident.

The specialists think he is definitely ill and it needs further investigation.

Tbh the 30k is just central london medical costs. Not juat tests but also eeg, therapy etc etc

Op I'm not sure if you've just got yourself in a bit of a state with this but it's coming across a bit muddled to be honest.

I used to bf and there were periods mine would have gone back to nursing loads particularly when sick and when feeling off his food. That's not abnormal at that age as long as it's temporary around feeling ill. If they're still feeling under the weather they may also be nursing more for comfort etc. For reference my child was always an actual bin and loved solids and weaned quickly.

I think people have jumped on the idea that your husband is lying deliberately which seems odd given that you've said he wasn't really lucid at the time.

Paramedics will have been in all sorts of homes, they'll only report if your home is actually dangerous or dirty or if you/ your dh seem vulnerable or concerning.

If he’s been offered CBT he has a mental health issue, op.