Am I making myself look silly socialising with younger colleagues at lunch?

[Needtoughlove]

I am wondering about age differences in the office and what your take is on it.

I work in a team of 9 women. 3 of us are 45 and over and the remaining women ages range from 23 to 26.

I get on well with everyone. The two older ladies take their lunches at their desks whereas the younger ladies tend to go out to lunch.

I will sometimes go out for lunch with the group. It is not a clique group and is very much open to whoever wants to go. They are all getting mortgages and settling down and we talk about all sorts. I do have children in their 20’s so sometimes feel old when I reference something they are doing but I wouldn’t say uncomfortable.

I had a meeting with one of the other older ladies and we were just chatting and it was referenced that they was an age disparity in the office. I said that I didn’t really feel it and she said “well that’s because you are always trying to be down with the kids”. I pulled her up on it straight away and she assured me that no one had said anything but from her perspective, she felt it strange that I wanted to hang out with the 20 somethings. I assured her that they were colleagues and it was just nice to get out of the office at lunch but now I wonder if I am making myself look silly.

It has me overthinking now. Are they just asking me along as they are nice people and don’t want to leave anyone out? Should I graciously bow out and take myself off for a walk.

What do you mean ‘if it’s not every day it’s fine?’ Age means absolutely nothing, Adults are in relationships with huge age gaps. Parents spend time with their entire family.
I spend time with my children and my parents. My friends are all ages.

Adults can have friends of any age ?

I think you’re over thinking it. Who on earth would be gossiping as you go to lunch. How odd. It’s just lunch with colleagues.

I think lunch together at work is an underrated team bonding exercise and helps you to get to know each other a little better away from the stress of the desks. Age is irrelevant, you’re all colleagues.

She missed the bit about the older colleague staying back in the office to book her blue rinse or order support tights.

I love working with younger people. I find the women my age are a bit "chip on the shoulder" , and set in their ways. The younger people are far more positive and keep me positive too. My son used to laugh at me until he started work. Now his work "bestie" is close to retirement age 🤣 I think at work, you can be friendly with all kinds of people you would never even meet in the outside world!

You keep doing you, never mind what the others think.

My favourite work colleague ( who I'd consider a friend and who I meet regularly out of work) is 21 years older than me. I think your over thinking it.

Thank you for your perspectives. She definitely did not mean it as a joke as she went on to explain when I held her comment to account.

There are close friendships within the group and they sometimes go off together too. I am not part of any groups and don’t try to be but am happy to escape the office for a bit if invited. I am not always invited either and that’s okay.

Thinking about it now, she doesn’t get asked at all. Maybe I will invite her along today and see.

You're a team, you take lunch together. That is completely normal. Ignore your older colleagues, sounds like she is jealous or insecure.

I'm 62. I go to lunch occasionally with my colleagues. I've even been known to go for a drink with them on a sunny evening too. My age doesn't mean I should be wrapped in a shawl on my sofa by 7pm. That's daft.

I am 75, the majority of my friends, pretty long term are 20 years younger than me. We were work colleagues and have been friends for 25 years. However my oldest DD does say I make HER feel old..

I went to my brother’s village party. I didnt know many people. They were busy hosting.. I sat with 3 women between 80 & 90, they were a blast. Full of stories, like washing clothes in the river in winter etc. Horse & cart to school. I now have their numbers in my phone, I will go for coffee next time I’m there.
Surely its important to mix generations. Listen, participate, recount & learn?
This, in both directions.

This is in rural France btw

Unless you’re going skateboarding with them at lunchtime with your baseball cap on backwards, I fail to see how going for lunch with younger colleagues is remotely ‘silly’.

I’m in my late 50s and several friends in their 20s and also some in their 70s and 80s. It’s enriching to have insights from different generations.

If they're inviting you, and you occasionally don't get invited and some people don't get invited at all that means they want you there. You aren't inviting yourself and they aren't inviting you because they feel obligated to invite everyone all the time, you're welcome with them, who cares what anyone else thinks.

It's just work families isn't it. If you get on, you get on. When I was in my 20s my best workmate was in her 60s. We'd do lunch and hang out after work too. When I had a baby she would come over and have baby cuddles and share some office goss. In fact when I moved teams most of the blokes I worked with were late 50s and we had such a good working relationship. There were lunches and nights out and I don't remember anyone being bothered about age.

I'm in my 40s now and work for myself but if I worked with other people I would be happy to hang out with younger and older people. I don't think you need to stick to your age.

Absolutely do not worry. My old colleague has now retired and is 25 years older than me. We still go our for lunch and wine to catch up. I genuinely count her as one of my friends. She's lovely

I used to be on the other side of this. I was early 20s and worked with women 45+. We'd have lunch most days, too. It didn't bother anyone at all. We just knew we got on, and that was that.

Now 25 years later, in one job I had a few years ago, I found I had absolutely nothing in common with anyone under 30 - but this is because they were all huge climate change warriors and that was ALL they would talk about, and how evil anyone aged over 40 was and how we'd apparently "ruined" it for the young people. (hmm, not me, I don't drive and only recently started going on holidays involving flights).

But aside from that, nope, if I am on the same wavelength as someone, I can easily be their work friend and socialise with them.

The only people who care about stuff like this are the jealous which tends to cause them to make stupid little remarks.

Just enjoy your life and eat a bit of cake 🍰

Ignore that lady OP she’s probably just jealous and got her own issues about her age and deflecting onto you.

One of my favourite colleagues / work besties is about 20 years older than me. Shes lush and we get on so well and often have lunch or coffee breaks together! I’ve never thought anything of it til seeing your post.

💜

It’s only at school where friendships with people in a different year group might attract attention.

My closest colleagues are 20+ years older than me OP. I’m in my early 30s. One of them reminds me of my mum so I find her really comforting. Most are men and they’re really great to chat to, offer a different perspective, ground me when I’m being insecure or whatever. I think there’s a real benefit in cross generational friendships for both sides.

I’m 64 and all my work colleagues are at least 20 or 30 years younger than me. I’m still friends with ex colleagues that are not much older than my DS (26) who I meet up with regularly as they like my company and I there’s. This age thing is just nonsense.

My DS 24 works with mainly women in their 40’s and 50’s. He happily goes for lunch with them!

A lot of my colleagues are 20+ years older than me, we get on really great and have lots of nights out together. When we’re together I don’t notice the age gap.

You’re 45, not 145. Enjoy your lunches!