Should I open my house to the public to get tax relief to fix my roof?

[LadyCustardCreme]

This is a legal tax relief system, ist it? I can open up my house, cordon off a route, give guided tours and then let people wander around the garden and then sell them a cup of tea and a bit of cake? What else do I need apart from a bit of advertising and public liability insurance?

Well, a Stately Home is a good starting point.
🤣

How big is your roof? And why not?

Find an old suit of armour and a couple of dusty tapestries and Bob’s your uncle.

I can’t advise until I know what cake you’d be serving.

Do you have swans on your lake, a mile-long drive, an ornate walled garden and a host of oil paintings of your ancestors up your staircase?

DS made a chocolate espresso cake for Easter and it was damn fine. Much better than the squashed fly shortbread I paid £3.50 for today.

Not quite. But I have a big front drive, large enough to park a pony on.

You have to have a corridor which contains a lot of art. Do you have a budding artist (pronounced art-tiest, possibly aged three as you have spotted a genius early) whose works you can cover the entrance hall way in? Get a plaque to say that this is the house they had their formative years in.

Quite big, especially if you include the extension. I have a chimney. Does that help?

Put a plank in the garden and you have a 'natural play area' for kids.

Then yes. Do this at once.

You don’t even need to let them in your house. You can charge them £16 just to walk round your garden. And a fiver to park.

My uncle is called Dave and he had an old set of golf clubs. Would that be the same?

Just the one chimney? Pah. Amateur.

a thimble collection in a faux mahogany corner unit is a guaranteed crowd pleaser

No
yes
Yes
no

I have framed a lot of my children’s artwork from school so does that count?

Got a porch or somewhere you can set up a gift shop. Collect some twigs and arrange them artfully in a washed out jam jar. That'd be 15 quid at least. What are you like at making mead?

Genius. That will help disguise the rockery that we started to dismantle and then got bored and left it as a pile of rubble.

Good idea. Go for it. I’ll do it too!!!

If you put a 'do not climb' notice, it can be a work of art in the extensive grounds.

Amazing pro tip.

Don't forget to put thistles on your sofa and dining room chairs so people can admire them but not sit on them.

This is why I’m asking for your brutal honesty, oh random people off the internet. If I had two chimneys then I would have opened up for the season yesterday.

Just put up a sign saying that it is the site of the former east wing of the house, demolished in the 20th century to save on inheritance tax.