Should I open my house to the public to get tax relief to fix my roof?

[LadyCustardCreme]

This is a legal tax relief system, ist it? I can open up my house, cordon off a route, give guided tours and then let people wander around the garden and then sell them a cup of tea and a bit of cake? What else do I need apart from a bit of advertising and public liability insurance?

Great idea!

The sullen look will add verisimilitude.

Dont forget a resident ghost. Someone in a full length dress on rollerskates so they look like they're hovering.

I have friends currently complaining about the costs of upkeep up their stately home. It’s like 900 years old, 20 bedrooms, sitting on 200 acres. Poor diddums are having to rent out some rooms now to cover the heating bill (neither have a normal 9-5 job).

I think I saw this in Hampton Court Palace. Great idea. And then charge £19 for a photo.

Paint selected bricks on the front of your house black in a diamond (diaper) pattern and claim you were the inspiration for Hampton Court.

Ooh - a literary festival at £150 per ticket inc a free (small) glass of Prosecco! Do you have any friends who could read out chapters of books and forge the signatures of the actual authors?

You could make a video of a typical day in the house and then play it on repeat in the living room.

This really is a brilliant idea!

That’s a specialist activity, isn’t it? I could also go back to the melted chocolate and get them to make their own chocolate slabs decorated with recycled smarties and popcorn.

Paint some stones with the name of the property (once you've decided. I see that you're still deciding) and sell them in the gift shop. Also a couple of crumpled dried leaves in paper bags as ancient tea from the garden

Think I'm too invested in this and it's well past my bedtime....
🤣

This is currently my favourite thread.

Scatter some old and dangerous toys around, you know, the kind with with lead paint and sharp edges, old and preferably broken garden tools (ditto), and lots of signs explaining you have no liability for any injuries howsoever (you need a howsoever) caused.

This sounds like a drawer in my son’s room.

Could you round up your animals and offer a visit to a petting zoo at £5 a head?

I don't know what that word means. I'll Google it. You need the above poster OP to use words like this to look like a historical document in words of ye ago.

I could put a sheet over my dog. She is very placid and cooperative (unlike the DCs.).

I’ve just given the dog the job of being the resident ghost. I have wood pigeons though, who procreate on the garden fence.

You should get one of those monster spider outfits for the dog. Then charge people for a little bag of dog food to feed her. Plus another charge for the photo of them feeding the monster, obv.

They should read this thread and open up their house to claim tax relief on the roof repairs!

How is "opening up your house" defined these days? Would a post-it on the front door do, or do we need an ad in the local paper?

Draw some nude figures in Arcadian settings (leaves, ruins etc.) on your ceilings. Produce an audioguide in twelve languages explaining the links to Greek mythology. I reckon you could charge a fiver for that.

Nice one. As long as they don’t look too close.

Nail green baize on the back of a door and refer to it as the servant’s entry.

Another pro-tip. And LEGO. Lots of LEGO.

I can’t keep up and I have to go to bed! But thank you for your excellent suggestions. Seems like it was t a crazy idea after all.

1895 it's a typo