Sad mum in restaurant

[Conniebygaslight]

Currently on holiday and was in a restaurant this evening. There was a family at the next table. The mum arrived before everyone else, then the dad with 2 early teen girls. The mum just looked so sad throughout. Didn’t engage with the dad at all, looked like completely avoiding him and off with her own thoughts almost lost and very small. One of her DD’s said something to her and she just sadly shrugged. I thought that if he left the table I would ask if she was ok but he didn’t. She didn’t look scared at all. I can’t stop thinking about her.
I know it’s none of my business but I really felt for her. Don’t know why I’m posting really, but if by any miracle she sees this, I hope she’s ok.

Headache other pain/illness- could have had to work when they were off having fun - arguement.

I got told off on train I looked miserable - with teens and DH was on way to Dad funeral and was bit stressed about getting there on time - luckily DH and kids stepped in and moved us on.

She could be a right pain in arse to be on holiday with and just sulking.

My IL used to invite themselves on our family holiday and everytime managed to find one activity I couldn't do - and then l'd have to listen to how great it all was for years afterwards - I don't think I sulked as kids weren't teens and I did try and make most of the alone time and loved having them back but sometimes it did sting - how no-one else saw what was going on how deliberate and pointed it all was.

*DripDripAprilshower ·
Poor family. I bet she’s been like that all week
Why?
😆 🤣 😂

She sounds martyrish to me

One of her DD’s said something to her and she just sadly shrugged.

rude
and very likely martyring herself over something entirely of her own making

It’s nice to be thoughtful and concerned about others but I think you were right to leave her be

Thanks for all the replies. I’m not a drama queen nor do I feel the need to involve myself in others’ business as some of you have accused me of. She didn’t look stroppy or a miserable cow, she looked very sad and small and was at the next table to us and directly in my eye line. I noticed her and the thought of her sadness stayed with me after we left. I did think of approaching her and may have done if she’d been alone or may not have done. It’s amazing how things come across on here with people saying I couldn’t wait to post or I’m unhappy in my own life.
It’s OK to notice that someone is sad and wonder if they’re OK…🤣🙈🙈

Are you a black cat?

Connie Converse, no doubt... How sad, how lovely.

@Conniebygaslight did you feel sorry for the dd she ignored?

She didn’t ignore her DD she shrugged sadly, not stroppily so no not particularly.

she looked very sad and small

What do you mean by 'small'?

So after the “sad shrug” did she engage with her daughter?

I can confirm that I am not any kind of gazelles.

Booo… I thought you may be some kind wild/some tame… 🦌🦌

So? Does it matter if a woman gets to feel good about herself for intervening in someone else's 'drama' if in the process she helps another woman?
She could be the biggest curtain twitcher going and loving every minute of it, but if she offers help to a woman she thinks may need it, she's still done a better day's work than those who've looked the other way.
Any momentary inconvenience caused to a woman who has just fallen down stairs is of no importance. Two minutes to tell her you're OK and on with your day.
Calling women who step up interfering and drama seekers is a gift to the perpetrators who rely on other people minding their own business.

So? Does it matter if a woman gets to feel good about herself for intervening in someone else's 'drama' if in the process she helps another woman?
She could be the biggest curtain twitcher going and loving every minute of it, but if she offers help to a woman she thinks may need it, she's still done a better day's work than those who've looked the other way.*
Any momentary inconvenience caused to a woman who has just fallen down stairs is of no importance. Two minutes to tell her you're OK and on with your day.
Calling women who step up interfering and drama seekers is a gift to the perpetrators who rely on other people minding their own business

I think context is everything. Maybe if I was 'sad woman at the restaurant with a black eye it maybe have been useful.

However I've gone to the beer garden laughing with dh and also carried on laughing and being happy once he was out of my sight. If im in such a good mood did she honestly think I was going to start open my heart out.

Not very much no. But she did speak to her a little

Like she was trying to shrink herself down in her chair.

I assume she'd have thought you'd either say "Yes, please, I do need help" or "No, all good, thanks for asking".
A woman with bruises is more of a red flag than a woman laughing is a green one. She did the right thing.

Bloody hell did you watch her the entire time (esp as it sounds like you were dying to jump in)

There are a million reasons for it. She may be recently bereaved or had a row or have a headache or anything else. It’s not anyone’s business really.

However doing the whole ‘if she’s reading this’ bit is a tad OTT.

How do you think your intervention would have helped?

Next up on AIBU

I am on holiday and saw this woman ignoring her family and staring at another family during dinner - should I have checked on her?

I’m constantly amazed on MN by how many people seem to spend their time watching strangers and trying to insert themselves into potential drama.

Because let’s not pretend that is always about concern. It’s main character syndrome

I assume she'd have thought you'd either say "Yes, please, I do need help" or "No, all good, thanks for asking".
A woman with bruises is more of a red flag than a woman laughing is a green one. She did the right thing.

I hear you but im not agreeing.

I remember at the time feeling really defensive for dh because he has always put me and the kids first, ( and still does)always really looked after us and is such a caring person. With him being huge he can look intimidating and after a while all the dirty looks he was getting got very wearing and I felt upset for him, especially as my fall could have been avoided, it was definitely my fault.

Anyway im drawing a line over whether someone should have approved me or not!

remember the thread about dying of embarrassment? (because of embarrassing physical symptoms)
well a lot of you are advising someone maybe dying of us minding our own business! If you’re that worried about someone; ask!
I would’ve loved “nosy” stranger concern when I was still in an abusive relationship it might’ve helped end it sooner

Good rule of thumb is, unless you know something bad is happening, mind your own business. Your actions are unlikely to help and could make someone feel worse

I wouldn’t have intervened, if that’s any consolation 😬 Tbf I’m not one of those people who spend their lives watching other people because I’m not creepy so I probably wouldn’t have even noticed 😬