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Original poster

Sad mum in restaurant

143 replies

Conniebygaslight · 05/04/2026 22:07

Currently on holiday and was in a restaurant this evening. There was a family at the next table. The mum arrived before everyone else, then the dad with 2 early teen girls. The mum just looked so sad throughout. Didn’t engage with the dad at all, looked like completely avoiding him and off with her own thoughts almost lost and very small. One of her DD’s said something to her and she just sadly shrugged. I thought that if he left the table I would ask if she was ok but he didn’t. She didn’t look scared at all. I can’t stop thinking about her.
I know it’s none of my business but I really felt for her. Don’t know why I’m posting really, but if by any miracle she sees this, I hope she’s ok.

OP posts:
JipJup · 05/04/2026 22:10

Poor woman.

I went for a meal with my family straight after my dad’s coffin was received into church.

I would’ve been embarrassed if a stranger had asked me if I was ok, although I would’ve understood why they asked.

jellymaker · 05/04/2026 22:16

I guess it's just one of those moments when you have one insight on one day. Take it as a reminder that you never know what anyone is going through and to be kind. It doesn't sound like she was in danger. She most likely just had some devastating news and needs time to get her head around it. Hope it doesn't keep you up at night.

Original poster
Conniebygaslight · 05/04/2026 22:23

It felt like a MN poster who’s found out her DH having an affair and they’re about to go on holiday. Probably wasn’t but she certainly wasn’t being comforted by her DH. I’m sure I’ll forget about it tomorrow but her sadness was felt by me for sure.

OP posts:
fruitypancake · 05/04/2026 22:39

They’d probably just had a row

Manicmondayss · 05/04/2026 22:44

I think you read too much mn or watch too many soap operas. Maybe she just had a long day and was fed up of their yammering

PurpleNightingale · 05/04/2026 22:49

Conniebygaslight · 05/04/2026 22:23

It felt like a MN poster who’s found out her DH having an affair and they’re about to go on holiday. Probably wasn’t but she certainly wasn’t being comforted by her DH. I’m sure I’ll forget about it tomorrow but her sadness was felt by me for sure.

I have had a hard year with a parent slowly dying of cancer. I am a private person when dealing with hard news. If you'd seen me after one of the calls where I found out the cancer had spread or progressed with new symptoms etc. I would have looked like this. My husband is lovely and supportive but in those moments touch isn't comforting to me, Quiet company that doesn't expect much from me is actually the best support he can give.

Cryingatthegym · 05/04/2026 22:55

Not quite the same thing, but you've reminded me of around 10 years ago when I was on a flight with a family and the man was being so aggressive and awful to the woman and two small children the whole flight, it was horrible to witness. The woman seemed so frightened and desperate to stop him from escalating. I've never forgotten them and wish I could have done something to help at the time.

illsendansostotheworld · 05/04/2026 23:26

I was on holiday years ago when l learned my oldest friend had died. Cried all day and anyone who saw me must have wondered what on earth was wrong. DH was with me the whole time bit there was nothing he could say or do to console me, l was devastated. I hope nobody thought he had upset me.

Original poster
Conniebygaslight · 08/04/2026 07:16

Manicmondayss · 05/04/2026 22:44

I think you read too much mn or watch too many soap operas. Maybe she just had a long day and was fed up of their yammering

I don’t watch soaps. Maybe she was just fed up but maybe she wasn’t, I’ll never know.

OP posts:
notacooldad · 08/04/2026 07:51

Youve no need to know tbh.
If I saw them I'd assume they've had a row but not give it another thought as long as she didn't look like she was in danger or he was being g aggressive.
It's horrible having people intrude or making assumptions about you.
About 18 months ago I got a black eye and some face cuts from a bad fall. Dh was no where near me but when he got to me he calmed me down and looked after me.
The looks dh of disgust dh for days after was awful. Dirty looks dont help anyone.
I was sat alone in a beer garden and dh gone to get a round of drinks in and a woman watched him go inside and came over offering help. To be honest it didn't seem like help, more thst dge wanted to be part of the ( non existent) drama.
Not everything is 'poor woman'

TorroFerney · 08/04/2026 07:53

I notice couples who obviously hate each other or where one of them is being awful and there’s an atmosphere, it makes me feel really ill if I’m not careful and can put me off my food in a restaurant. Mine is because my parents hated each other and I’m superimposing my childhood onto them.

My other half who had a normal childhood does not notice these things. I would rather be him!

OhNoDont · 08/04/2026 07:57

notacooldad · 08/04/2026 07:51

Youve no need to know tbh.
If I saw them I'd assume they've had a row but not give it another thought as long as she didn't look like she was in danger or he was being g aggressive.
It's horrible having people intrude or making assumptions about you.
About 18 months ago I got a black eye and some face cuts from a bad fall. Dh was no where near me but when he got to me he calmed me down and looked after me.
The looks dh of disgust dh for days after was awful. Dirty looks dont help anyone.
I was sat alone in a beer garden and dh gone to get a round of drinks in and a woman watched him go inside and came over offering help. To be honest it didn't seem like help, more thst dge wanted to be part of the ( non existent) drama.
Not everything is 'poor woman'

Many women with facial injuries they are going to be the result of partner violence, it’s not a bad thing that people offered you help you didn’t need. I’ve had similar and it was embarrassing but I thought it was a good thing that some people do check.

PoppinjayPolly · 08/04/2026 08:01

Manicmondayss · 05/04/2026 22:44

I think you read too much mn or watch too many soap operas. Maybe she just had a long day and was fed up of their yammering

How did the rest of the family interact @Conniebygaslight ?
did the dad and teens chat to each other and seem to engage?
maybe she’s a drama llama who flounced off early to the restaurant and is now doing the performative silent treatment?

JumpinJehoshaphat · 08/04/2026 08:01

Imagine a stranger staring at you and wanting to approach you because you look ‘sad’.

It’s not your business.

notacooldad · 08/04/2026 08:04

Many women with facial injuries they are going to be the result of partner violence, it’s not a bad thing that people offered you help you didn’t need. I’ve had similar and it was embarrassing but I thought it was a good thing that some people do check.

I get that but it got wearing.

Dh is huge but very gentle caring and kind. I've been with him 36 years and he always puts me and the kids first, before himself so it upset me that people were thinking bad about him., especially the dirty looks. As I said looks dont actually do anything. If he was a bad person they are not going to guilt trip him. As he is a lovely person they just humiliated him.

PoppinjayPolly · 08/04/2026 08:05

Didn’t engage with the dad at all, looked like completely avoiding him and off with her own thoughts almost lost and very small. One of her DD’s said something to her and she just sadly shrugged.
so it’s the dhs fault she’s ignoring her daughter as well? Or are the daughters the baddies in this too?

Charlize43 · 08/04/2026 08:14

I think you are projecting your own thoughts on the situation.

Imagine if she had resting 'sad' face and was fucking fed up of people asking her if she was OK all the time?

MyThreeWords · 08/04/2026 08:16

It is interesting to think how differently the situation might have been viewed if the 'sad person' was the man:

Dad sitting all on his own in the restaurant when mum comes in with the kids - clearly she has been shouldering the burden of entertaining them and he has skived off. He makes no effort to engage with them during the meal, and just shrugs when one of his daughters tries to talk to him. Clearly doesn't think he owes them much attention.

Who knows what the reality of the situation is. Maybe she was sad, and maybe it was her partner's fault. Or maybe she was pissed off with the holiday.

Or perhaps she was just less good that most women at playacting acceptable emotions to make the people around her feel comfortable. In which case, the OP should have shouted "Smile, love! Go on, give us a smile!"

EDIT: Added a missed sentence

ShesAPlantPerson · 08/04/2026 08:17

Anything could have happened, but putting it on mumsnet, getting other people to comment and making it all about you is 🙄.

Trainspottering · 08/04/2026 08:17

She could have had a headache or something sad was going on in her life which you don’t know. Strange to focus so much on a stranger in a restaurant and create a “story” around it.

Lovemycat2023 · 08/04/2026 08:19

Also possible on holiday that she was struggling with something physical like IBS (I get that when I fly), painful period, post-tummy upset. When I feel in pain that comes out as feeling weak.

Dollymylove · 08/04/2026 08:20

Keep your nose out. Maybe they had a row.
Maybe the kids had been annoying all day. Maybe she was tired/period/ anniversary of a loved ones death.
Could be anything but whatever it is its nobody else's business

SittingNextToIt · 08/04/2026 08:20

Could be a couple that hate each other.
she could be having an affair and want to be anywhere else but there.
she could have been found out re an affair
they could have had a row.

But MN threads will offer other explanations. All equally un/likely.

ShesAPlantPerson · 08/04/2026 08:24

Trainspottering · 08/04/2026 08:17

She could have had a headache or something sad was going on in her life which you don’t know. Strange to focus so much on a stranger in a restaurant and create a “story” around it.

Indeed. I wonder more what is going on in OPs life to act the way she has and bring this to mumsnet. Really strange behaviour.

TeenLifeMum · 08/04/2026 08:25

I’d assume she’d just lost her shit at her family who were being selfish arses and was just feeling a bit broken. Doesn’t happen often but occasionally teens and dh treat me like I’m invisible and I disengage a bit until I get an actual apology. Not performative silence but just matching the energy they show me.