Would you date a bisexual man?

[Seymorbutts]

Just that really. A man who you believed to be genuinely bisexual, not a gay man on his way out of the closet. Someone who’d had long-term relationships with both men and women and who you’ve never known to sleep around with either men or women. If not, why would it bother you?

No

Well I do have family and friends who are gay, lesbian and bi. I’m happy to have them in my life, I love them, but wouldn’t want to date a bisexual man. If I was phobic, I wouldn’t have them in my life at all, support them with relationship issues, through having children, help them plan their weddings, share holidays together etc.

It is coercive and creepy AF!

So having an aversion to sleeping with gay or bi people is homophobic? What? So now I'm homophobic because I won't shag lesbians and gay men?

This discussion reminds me of boyfriends I had when young who on being turned down for sex would say ' are you frigid?'.
Being allowed to say yes does not mean it has to be yes to everything and everyone.
And that applies here.

If you’re not attracted to them, because them having had sex with men isn’t something you find attractive, that will affect your life. Knowing they have some desires that I couldn’t fulfil would definitely affect me. Just like I wouldn’t date a straight man who liked certain other things sexually that I’d never do.

No. People are allowed (within legality) whatever sexual identity they want and to fancy, and nit fancy, who they want. To try to characterise someone else’s sexual identity as defined by hatred (which is what you are doing) is unacceptable.

I don’t want to have sex with women. I’m not a misogynist. It’s not complicated.

To give a fuller picture there’s actually not that much difference in new HIV diagnoses between men who have sex with men (810), heterosexual men (634) and heterosexual women (749) in the U.K. according to the latest recorded statistics.

@Didimum are you saying you never turn anyone down for sex because that would make you something-phobic? Have you slept with straight men, gay men, bi men, gay women & straight women?

If not how utterly homophobic, biphobic, hetrophobic and hypocritical of you.

I wouldn't because I prefer to be with someone who is the same sexual orientation as me.

Lovely. A thread full of biphobia.

Preferences are based on visual and behavioural traits that you experience in the every day with another person. Bisexuality is niether of those things.

This is so extraordinarily reductive. Your extremely narrow window of what attracts us to another person is bizarre. What about someone’s identity, how they see themselves and how they see the world? You know, their thoughts and feelings? Doesn’t someone’s thinking come into whether you are attracted to them or not???

It's a no for me, I wouldn't be able to have sex with them, knowing he's had sex with a man

No . The thought of his dick
up a bum and then maybe not washing and then coming home and putting it up me or in my mouth ! No thanks . Also thinking I couldn’t suck his cock as good as a man and him comparing and wanting it done by a man instead of me . I would always be worried I wasn’t enough for him .

I wouldn’t have a problem dating a bisexual man.

But it’s absolutely okay for people to have preferences in terms of who they want to have a relationship with. It doesn’t make them ‘biphobic’

Yes it does.

define biphobia.

gay people are rightly able to say that they don’t want to sleep with people of the opposite sex. That is their sexual preference. Are they phobic against straight people?.

I only know two men who are bisexual and I think they are both lovely people and very attractive because of that. However neither of them would go near me with a 50 foot barge pole, so it's a bit of a moot point tbh.

So you’d sleep with every human adult on the planet then? If not why are you so prejudiced against other humans?

No it doesn’t. I’d never sleep with a Tory, am I being prejudiced?

Ridiculous.

It's not biphobic to say you wouldn't want to date a bisexual person. Exactly the same as it's not transphobic to say you don't want to date transpeople. Exactly the same as it's not ageist to not want to date a 65 year old if you're 30. Exactly the same as it's not racist to not want to date a black/ Chinese/ brown person. Exactly the same as it's not ablist to say you don't want to date a person who uses a wheelchair.

You're not harming them or giving them fewer advantages by not wanting to date them as would be the case if you decided not to employ someone because they were bisexual.

People have a human right to choose who they can date based on any reason whatsoever. See the threads on which women won't date shorter men for example. It's exactly the same as that.

An 80yr old is visibly and behaviourally discernible from what he looks like, his health and his physical abilities. What someone looks like, their state of health and agility has a tangible impact on your sex life, and your day to day life if in a relationship.

A bisexual man is not visually or behaviourally different to any given heterosexual man. Bisexuality is invisible and has no impact on sex or your day to day life. If simply knowing that they can be attracted to the same sex is unpleasant or unlikeable to you, then that means you find bisexuality in of itself unlikeable. That’s homophobia.

So no, it’s not comparable to not wanting to sleep with or date an 80yr old.

The assumptions and prejudice are clear on this thread - they will cheat with a man, they cannot be satisfied with a woman for the rest of their lives, they will give you an STI, they are effeminate … the list goes on.

No, it’s simply stating what it is. No one’s making you do anything.

Your definition of homophobia is overly simplistic and narrow. Homophobia exists in many wide ranging forms rather than just ‘I wouldn’t have a gay person in my life’.

What are the reasons for blanket dismissing every bisexual man on the planet? We can start there.