Would you date a bisexual man?

[Seymorbutts]

Just that really. A man who you believed to be genuinely bisexual, not a gay man on his way out of the closet. Someone who’d had long-term relationships with both men and women and who you’ve never known to sleep around with either men or women. If not, why would it bother you?

You might have a point if anyone is trying to push anyone into fancying or sleeping with someone they don’t want to but literally nobody is doing that. Pointing out that certain preferences may have evolved from prejudice is not the same as saying you must go and immediately date a bisexual person and I can’t believe some people find that so difficult to grasp.

It’s so interesting on these threads that it always comes down to “we must be completely accepting of everyone’s sexual identity, unless their sexual identity is a heterosexual who only wants to date/partner a heterosexual”.

Really unpleasant and creepy. Stop trying to tell people their sexual preferences are shameful.

I’m sure many of us have had sex with men that have had sexual encounters with men that dose not mean they are bisexual it could have been a drunken/drugged up experience nothing more than that

I have had sex with a women, I’m not bisexual I have never felt sexually attracted to a woman or infatuated with a women it was an experience, a fun one but nothing more than that and nor one I was bothered about doing again

that is very different from being bisexual

I find the thought of a partner having sex with another woman a turn on, I do not find the thought of a partner with another man a turn on

this isn’t to do with prejudice it’s to do with what I want in a relationship and being with a man that is bisexual isn’t one of them

You’re taking a concept meant to describe discrimination in rights and applying it to attraction. That’s how you end up trying to morally regulate who people are allowed to say no to.
If ‘no’ needs an approved reason, you don’t actually believe in consent.

Spot on

If ‘no’ needs an approved reason, you don’t actually believe in consent

Perfectly put! I shall be using that Buffet

Yuck.

"I know multiple men who have had sex with other men but consider themselves 100 percent straight. It just so happened there weren't any available female "holes" when they wanted relief. It was entirely circumstantial and/or practical."

"No" doesn't need an approved reason.

That doesn't mean dating preferences like this don't arise from social and cultural bias.

We live in a culture where homosexuality is still mocked, still seen by many as a sin or shameful. That bisexual men are promiscuous, unfaithful, or unclean, or not manly, or really they're actually gay but lying about it. We've seen some of those prejudicial attitudes stated outright on this thread.

Those messages pervade and form unconscious, subliminal bias.

Even if you, personally, don't think bisexual men are promiscuous etc, you're still being affected by that biased messaging and that's what's putting you off.

It doesn't mean you're a bad person, or a bigot, or hateful.

We can acknowledge that biases in dating are based in harmful stereotypes AS WELL AS understanding that dating is not an equal opportunity.

Here we have it again.

So my sexuality, heterosexual and only attracted to heterosexual men, is based on stereotypes and dislike of homosexuality? Your sexuality is positive and to be celebrated. Mine is shameful and negative.

Actually, it isn’t. And I don’t need your approval. But it’s sad that you are so judgmental about others’ sexual identities.

This is all that needs to be said.

No. I think men are already more predisposed to cheat than women are (I think most women only will if they arent happy in the relationship, whereas many men will even if they are happy in the relationship).
So being interested in men and women increases the chance of that, partly because it widens the pool of people to cheat with, and partly because there are sexual interests that cant be met by a woman.

We live in a culture where homosexuality is still mocked, still seen by many as a sin or shameful. That bisexual men are promiscuous, unfaithful, or unclean, or not manly, or really they're actually gay but lying about it. We've seen some of those prejudicial attitudes stated outright on this thread.

Even if you, personally, don't think bisexual men are promiscuous etc, you're still being affected by that biased messaging and that's what's putting you off.

What bollocks. Yet another example of someone throwing everything they can to try to make heterosexual people look like bigots if they have the nerve to only be attracted to other heterosexuals.

It doesn't work.

It's about time that certain people realised that being bisexual or homosexual is very much the minority amongst humans. The vast majority are heterosexual and not interested in bisexual or homosexual people for their sexual relations.

It isn't societal pressure that stops most women wanting a sexual relationship with a bisexual man, it's simply because the most usual object of a woman's desire is a man who only finds women sexually attractive, that's down to biology.

No. I wouldn't because I dont want to.

And you cant make me.

If I were single - no.

I'm mildly bisexual myself (I've had relationships with women but prefer men), and have casually dated bisexual men when I was young - and reaped the rewards of such - but I'm not interested in having a long-term relationship with a bisexual man at this point in my life.

I feel as though a man who is strongly bisexual and has dated other men will always prefer the understanding of 'maleness' and the more compatible sex drive that a man has to offer. Choosing to be with a woman makes me wonder if it's motivated more by her ability to provide him with children and do the 'mothering/life admin'.

It does also make me concerned that should there be sexual dry patches thanks to having children or other issues, it's much easier for a bisexual man to arrange hook-ups with other men - and possibly justify it to themselves - than it is for them to sleep with another woman.

So no. I'd rather take an ordinary hetero man.

Yes there is a difference between a male anus and a female anus, one is attached to a male and the other to a female.

Now as much as I'm sure you'd love us all to be having sex with men against our will to prove our lack of homophobia right now, it's nearly bed time so I'll have to give the non consensual sex with a bi man a miss tonight. Cheers for the offer though.

I’m not disgusted by them but I wouldn’t date one just as a matter of personal preference.

I think because they generally have more compatibility/points of resonance with another man, which makes sense.

Yeah, it's very common for lesbians to avoid dating bisexual women, as so often they end up being left for a man, perhaps as being with a man is just 'easier' in terms of social acceptance and having kids.

Both the men I've dated who I suspect were bisexual, and the one who was into BDSM, were nasty pieces of work. Likely a coincidence, but no, I wouldn't date another man who appears attracted to men or who is into kinky sexual practices.

No I would never date or choose to date a man who likes kinky sex or is into role play/bdsm

but mustn’t kink shame 🙄

Is it prejudiced not to date someone who thinks the earth is flat? Who has gone to strip clubs or used prostitutes in the past? Who has red hair, but dyes it brown? Who dated a porn star in the past? Who has previously been heavily involved in BDSM practices?

There are many 'invisible' reasons that someone might be put off dating a person that aren't really relevant in day-to-day life, but which do still have an impact on one's attraction, and decision to date them.

Personally, I don't like the idea that the man I'm with long-term would also be attracted to male bodies as they're the direct opposite to mine, and I don't like the thought that there would probably be sexual activities that he might miss and long for that I couldn't provide him with. So I prefer a non-homophobic straight man, like my DH.

"Trying to guilt and shame heterosexual women into feeling bad for not shagging men they don't want to is absolutely disgusting"

Trying, and failing. Some of the arguments in this thread are bordering on manic.