Page 12 | Can’t stop thinking about pics partner sent to “ex”

EvieBB · 07/03/2026 08:16

IdaGlossop · 06/03/2026 23:32

Sooo much wrong here. Here's a little quiz to help sort the wheat from the chaff.

Your partner opens his trousers, takes out his cock, takes a photo of it, and sends it to his ex. Responsibility for the dick pick lies with a) th ex b. your partner c. you
Your partner 'allows' you to move into his house and supports you financially while you look after his child at the weekend and provide dinner nd sex on tap. The person who benefits most from this situation is a) the child b) your partner c) you
Your partner won't let you be friends with his ex, the mother of the child you look after some weekends. This is because a) he doesn't want you to be infected by her lunacy b) he doesn't want the two of you exposing him for the lying, weak-willed low-life he really is c) his mother has told him current girl friends should never meet the ex.
The optimal conditions to embark on a permanent relationship are a) when you're worrying that your partner's ex has bigger boobs than you b) you feel secure in yourself and totally trust your partner's fidelity to your relationship c) your partner has a messy back story, a small child whose mother he despises and with whom he has a relationship so poor her mother has to act as go-between, and a lack of paternal feeling that drives him to shove childcare responsibilities onto you

How did you do? Mostly As - how is it in Cloud Cuckoo Land? Mostly Bs - congratulations! Your grounded approach to life will take you far. Step one: dump him NOW!! Mostly Cs - There's none so blind asthose who will not see.

Brilliant 😂👏🏻👏🏻

Roosch · 07/03/2026 08:18

CherryGirlAimz · 06/03/2026 21:47

My fiancé and I are very happy together, engaged last year, live together, been on plenty of holidays together, and I help look after his daughter on weekends he has her.

however, about a year and a half ago, the mother of his child (not exactly an ex as he said she was just a sex thing to him and she developed feelings for him but he never wanted to be with her) messaged me and sent me screen shots of what’s app sexual messages and images (penis pics) my partner sent to her. It broke me at the time but partner swiftly apologised and said it was a one off moment of madness when he was working away. We had a long walk on the beach and he swore he would never do it again. I know for sure he hasn’t as after this moment he stopped communicating directly with mother of his child, she has mental health issues as it is and even tried to commit suicide after he refused to communicate with her again.

fast forward to now and we are happy and engaged, our relationship looks perfect from the outset, however I cannot get this incident from my head - I still feel insecure and jealous that he did that, and it plagues my mind often. She is very attractive and intelligent and I can’t stop feeling I’m inferior to her. He says the mother of his child is a drama queen and just wants to cause him and us misery hence why he never speaks to her anymore. I’m glad he doesn’t as I’d be worried of a repeat if she messaged him again.

my question is - when will this one incident stop plaguing my mind in my otherwise very happy relationship? I’ve not told any friends or family about it, his family don’t know of it either, I’d be too scared to disclose it to anyone I know really in case they judge partner badly for it.

For the love of god, get out of this relationship. You will always be stuck with this “crazy ex”, “penis photo partner” and a girl who is not your own.

Doyouknowdanieltiger · 07/03/2026 08:19

Op this woman is his ex and the mother of his child. Stop trying to minimise that.

He should be respectful towards her and the fact he's not speaks volumes.

It's not normal at all for grown men to send 'dick pics', not decent ones anyway.

He's a fucking loser and I'd get rid.

Although something tells me you won't listen and will end up baby mum no.2.

You'll probably break up eventually and you'll be the 'crazy single mum ex'

And I bet you'll get a dick pic too 🤣

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 07/03/2026 08:20

EvieBB · 07/03/2026 08:16

Brilliant 😂👏🏻👏🏻

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Do the quiz and ditch the bellend @CherryGirlAimz !!

Holidaymodeon · 07/03/2026 08:20

Who’s house do you live in @CherryGirlAimz ?
who pays the bills? Did he move in with you or vice versa?
my friend is with a guy ike yours. He has led her a merry dance between her and his ex, also an evil temptress who is apparently responsible every time he goes ff the rails.
my friend feels sorry for him because ’his ex triggers him’
all me and our friends can see is he is using our friend, typical cock lodger, doesn’t work because of his ill health also partly the fault of his evil beautiful ex girlfriend who he can’t quite keep away from even though she is evil and makes him do things he doesn’t want to do, and he’s supposed to love my friend.
theres also his kids involved and my friend also wants to make sure they have a happy settled home life when they stay with their waster cheating lying dad

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 07/03/2026 08:20

I doubt OP will be back because we’re not all running to tell her what she wants to hear and that it was just a lapse in judgment, he’s a good guy, really, and she’ll forget in time.

The reality, as we all know, is she’ll be back in a few years asking for advice now that she and her kids need to leave, but she’s been a SAH mum, unmarried and everything is in his name.

Oldmamabear · 07/03/2026 08:27

If you love him and are dependent upon him in terms of somewhere to live then nothing anyone says will make any difference. You will tell yourself none us know him like you do. After all all you wanted was a magic wand statement to wave away the bad memory. You didn't want a reality check. The mind is a complicated thing. You will forget 10 x more things than you remember. Memories stay in ours minds for a reason and with bad memories I think its a subconscious defense mechanism. You remember stuff that hurt you emotionally or physically so that you learn not to put yourself in that position again. You are trying to override your own internal warning system. It won't work as you are discovering. You can reach out to strangers looking for answers but that won't work. You can reach out to friends and family but you know what they will say so you won't do that. That means you have to live with it but you are finding that hard or you take a very brave step and walk away. Personally I think you are in love with the man you think he is. The one he presents himself as but you have evidence he ain't that man. You issue is not getting rid of the memory its dealing with what you should really do about it.

Imbusytodaysorry · 07/03/2026 08:27

@CherryGirlAimz jeeze op it’s easy to see looking in he is a pig.
He calls his ex a drama queen . Messed with her head that she is suicidal .
you and he both use the words “sex thing “
this is a human being we are talking about.
He is a lying horrible pig.She won’t be the first and she won’t be the last .

You will never be able to trust him .
How does he see his fighter if he can’t speak to her mother ?

You better off leaving this one .

read your updates . You are VERY naive .
His ex sounds lovely . Of course he was angry at her as she told on him . He doesn’t want you both to be friends and it’s not because she is a bad person it’s because the truth about him and his behaviour will
come out .

Wedontdeservedogs · 07/03/2026 08:31

Screamingabdabz · 06/03/2026 21:50

Be very wary of a man who thinks his penis is a gift of photographic art and calls the beautiful intelligent mother of his child a crazy drama queen. That’s misogyny 101 and he’s just telling you what you want to hear to get you off his case. Red flags all over the shop, sorry.

Edited

100% this, every time

I think the fact that you don't want anyone to know speaks volumes
It's not your job to protect him from his bad choices
What would you advise a sister or friend who confided something similar to you?

thepariscrimefiles · 07/03/2026 08:33

CherryGirlAimz · 06/03/2026 22:39

I haven’t met her and it doesn’t look like I ever will, especially as partner has not even seen her since what happened - he was very angry at her and upset for me. When I asked to meet her when she found out about our relationship (long before what happened) - I actually suggested to partner we should be friends - he said no, she’s not that type of person who’d be friends and it’s not a good idea. Then after what happened I obviously don’t have any interest in meeting her. In the summer she did message me on Facebook saying i deserve better and thanks for being an “amazing step mum” to her daughter - I have no idea if she was being sarcastic or not but I blocked her after this as it just hit me too much knowing what happened between her and my partner.

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Your partner is the bad guy here, not his ex. He sent explicit pics to her. She sounds sincere when she thanked you for being a kind step-mum to her daughter.

Your partner was angry at her because she revealed his awful behaviour. He betrayed you, not her.

I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

Wedontdeservedogs · 07/03/2026 08:33

Oldmamabear · 07/03/2026 08:27

If you love him and are dependent upon him in terms of somewhere to live then nothing anyone says will make any difference. You will tell yourself none us know him like you do. After all all you wanted was a magic wand statement to wave away the bad memory. You didn't want a reality check. The mind is a complicated thing. You will forget 10 x more things than you remember. Memories stay in ours minds for a reason and with bad memories I think its a subconscious defense mechanism. You remember stuff that hurt you emotionally or physically so that you learn not to put yourself in that position again. You are trying to override your own internal warning system. It won't work as you are discovering. You can reach out to strangers looking for answers but that won't work. You can reach out to friends and family but you know what they will say so you won't do that. That means you have to live with it but you are finding that hard or you take a very brave step and walk away. Personally I think you are in love with the man you think he is. The one he presents himself as but you have evidence he ain't that man. You issue is not getting rid of the memory its dealing with what you should really do about it.

Very well said

diddl · 07/03/2026 08:34

yet I still think of what he did. I just want it to go away. I hate myself for it

You should hate him for it, get some self respect & leave.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 07/03/2026 08:35

It's unanimous @CherryGirlAimz. I really hope you now feel empowered to run for the hills. Fast.

Incidentally, might the reason the mother of his child wouldn't let the grandparents hold her be because they've somehow managed to raise a misogynistic, deceitful, manipulative and cruel fuckwit? I'm pretty certain I wouldn't want them getting their hands on my baby either.

thepariscrimefiles · 07/03/2026 08:39

CherryGirlAimz · 06/03/2026 22:52

I’m not excusing what he did but I do believe he is a changed man, and I do love him despite how much it hurt me, and I don’t seem to be able to stop loving him - he’s done so much good to me since and i feel myself loving him more each day

even though I’ve not met mother of his child I do know how miserable she made him before the incident - I see how stressed he got when he messaged her. And she has never spoken to his family for a long time, his mother has said she never let her hold her own granddaughter, which I do think seems extreme and unfair.

You sound like you are in a cult. You have really drunk the kool aid.

I bet his ex is delighted that she is no longer obliged to have a relationship with your boyfriend's mum. Your partner is the one that should be managing and facilitating the relationship between his child and his mum, not his ex.

Summerhut2025 · 07/03/2026 08:40

You need to check the rest of his phone, there will be more on there OP

Wedontdeservedogs · 07/03/2026 08:40

LyndaSnellsSniff · 07/03/2026 08:35

It's unanimous @CherryGirlAimz. I really hope you now feel empowered to run for the hills. Fast.

Incidentally, might the reason the mother of his child wouldn't let the grandparents hold her be because they've somehow managed to raise a misogynistic, deceitful, manipulative and cruel fuckwit? I'm pretty certain I wouldn't want them getting their hands on my baby either.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 07/03/2026 08:40

LyndaSnellsSniff · 07/03/2026 08:35

It's unanimous @CherryGirlAimz. I really hope you now feel empowered to run for the hills. Fast.

Incidentally, might the reason the mother of his child wouldn't let the grandparents hold her be because they've somehow managed to raise a misogynistic, deceitful, manipulative and cruel fuckwit? I'm pretty certain I wouldn't want them getting their hands on my baby either.

Chance would be a fine thing. She's not running anywhere. She doesn't want advice on whether she should leave this man.She wants advice on how to stop this deranged woman who is in love with her fiance from living rent free in her head. Absolutely deluded.

Mummylove2026 · 07/03/2026 08:41

am not judging mother but I do think it’s nice like my partner said that his child has 2 people that can be there for her at the same time, I know I had mother and father raise me together as did he and I do feel sorry for children who are raised by single parents.

I was raised by a single parent and I don’t need you feeling sorry for me. I would have the confidence to leave my partner if he cheated, I wouldn’t be manipulated into believing his ex was the problem either….. I feel sorry for you if I’m honest, you’ve been brought up imagining that life is perfect and you’ve ended up looking like a mug unfortunately.

lessglittermoremud · 07/03/2026 08:43

Sorry but any man who thought his penis was so beautiful he had to send a picture of it would be out the door, the fact he sent it to his Ex, and she was a proper Ex rather then how he’s described her as ‘someone that he had sex with’ makes it 100 times worse.
You can’t forget it because you know that it was a total betrayal of your trust, I would be questioning what else he feels able to do when he’s away and alone….
Thankfully I’ve never been sent a ‘dick pic’ on my 40 something years on the planet… I really hope I never do!

thepariscrimefiles · 07/03/2026 08:43

CherryGirlAimz · 06/03/2026 23:03

I am not judging mother but I do think it’s nice like my partner said that his child has 2 people that can be there for her at the same time, I know I had mother and father raise me together as did he and I do feel sorry for children who are raised by single parents.

also part of me feels the mother is the one who made him - and I feel so angry at her for it - but then I also know he had a choice and surely he shouldn’t do it himself if he loved me like he says. and then I’m also blaming myself too - is it because my body isn’t good enough like hers? She is thinner than me and has big boobs and I feel like if I’d been enough for him he wouldn’t have done it. So I’m beating myself up too

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Of course you are judging her, completely unfairly. If she had moved another man into her home, I'm pretty sure that you and your awful partner would be slagging her off for that.

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 07/03/2026 08:44

CherryGirlAimz · 06/03/2026 23:22

I do know she wasn’t happy about him bringing me into his daughters life at first and she did seem really jealous about it as people do think I am her daughters mother. I am
trying my best for his daughter and I do go above and beyond as she is a lovely little girl.

i do agree I have problems and I have low self esteem. I compare myself to her and blame myself for it at times. I know deep down he shouldn’t have sent those pics and I blame her for it too. My head feels like a complete mess. I love him even though he did this to me. I love spending time with him and his daughter and we are happy together and laugh, sleep together every night yet I still think of what he did. I just want it to go away. I hate myself for it

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She was 100% correct to be protective of her 6 month old little baby meeting a woman she's never met, that's not jealousy, that's being a responsible parent! Advice on most forums is to vet a potential partner for a year before introducing them to your children and it sounds like your saint of a fiance did it immediately after rebounded to you straight after splitting with his the mother of his child.

Your only feedback about her is through his filter, but all her interactions with you have been either in your best interest or to be kind to you. It was a massive red flag that he dissuaded you from forming a relationship with her before the sexting incident too and that he's painted her as the "crazy ex"

I think your fiance is a bloody walking red flag quite frankly.

ThatCyanCat · 07/03/2026 08:44

CherryGirlAimz · 06/03/2026 22:39

I haven’t met her and it doesn’t look like I ever will, especially as partner has not even seen her since what happened - he was very angry at her and upset for me. When I asked to meet her when she found out about our relationship (long before what happened) - I actually suggested to partner we should be friends - he said no, she’s not that type of person who’d be friends and it’s not a good idea. Then after what happened I obviously don’t have any interest in meeting her. In the summer she did message me on Facebook saying i deserve better and thanks for being an “amazing step mum” to her daughter - I have no idea if she was being sarcastic or not but I blocked her after this as it just hit me too much knowing what happened between her and my partner.

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he was very angry at her and upset for me.

How fucking dare he?

Wake up!!

Fridaysgirl17 · 07/03/2026 08:46

TwoTuesday · 06/03/2026 22:30

His ex sounds like a good mother for not having any new partners involved in her parenting. You are out of order criticising her for that.
He's really convinced you he's a prize. Of course he's let you move in, he has childcare on tap then, plus sex and housework too? Are you saving your wages so you have the ability to house yourself in the future?
You can't forget the dick pics because you know it's a really bad sign. She did you a favour showing them to you.

Thank you for saying that as this is my situation,I've stayed single for 5 years while raising my kids after my ex left,he did this trying to get back with me,& of course it was all me according to his gf (affair partner) I was jealous,crazy, keeping the kids from him & he fanned the flames,making up stuff etc It was always my issue never his,this sounds very familiar to me but from the other side

Thereissnowinmywellies · 07/03/2026 08:49

Build5bear · 06/03/2026 22:21

How old are you? Are you like 16 or something?

How can a fully grown woman be happy and accepting of a man who calls the mother of his child “just a sex thing”?!! How bloody misogynistic and vile.

And you think this man is marriage material?! He will bin you off and say similar things about you in future.

And if you marry him, when you already know all this, you almost deserve it.

From everything you have written here, the dick pics to his ex are the least of your worries. He is awful. As my mother used to say … “How much more bloody evidence do you need??” (That he’s an arsehole).

Do not marry this man.

Summed it up for me, for goodness sake actually read and try to understand what peeps are saying to you about this man. He's a pile of shit on so many levels in his attitude to women, women who don't know him are telling you this because we aren't wearing the love rose tinted specs.
Please don't come back a year or two after getting married with a kid in tow crying and saying he's having an affair but still sleeps with me because I luvre him. He's the shittest dad but the sex is great, please just don't go there.

Revavalley · 07/03/2026 08:50

I was brought up solely by my mother from a young age. My mother was strong enough to kick my father out and go it alone. In turn she's raised me to be fully independent and unreliant or a man. Unlike your parents. Stick your sympathy up your arse OP. You are the fool playing happy families with a wee girl who isn't yours, who has a strong independent mother.

I'd bet my teeth if you met her you wouldnt be faced with a suicidal psycho but a well mannered and measured woman who in your position, should be admired.

He sent his cock photos, she told you. He's angry he was caught out. You stay in his house and let him pay for everything, see when it all goes tits up and it will, you will be left with what you came with, nothing.

Your naive at best, stupid at worst so my sympathies you're a fool.