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Original poster

To ask your perspective - sister unable to get home because she didn’t have bank cards with her and phone ran out of charge

216 replies

JennyWren5 · 14/02/2026 19:00

I could do with some perspective here please.

I met up with my sister today, and as we were both about to travel back to our respective homes (in the same city), she mentioned she didn’t have her bank cards with her and her phone was out of charge (her travel card was on her phone). She also had no phone charger.

This meant she couldn’t get home by Uber/other taxi service or by public transport (as it is cashless).

For context, she is often in this exact position - with me, with friends, with colleagues.

We are both adults with jobs and earning very similar salaries. And as far as I know, she is neurotypical (because I think people might ask this).

I’ve previously reminded her to take her bank cards with her and not just her phone, but she never does. I’ve now stopped reminding her because I can’t be bothered to. I’m angry that she seems to expect me to bail her out.

When I said I couldn’t help her today, she called me a selfish bitch and poured her takeaway coffee on the ground in front of me, spilling some on my shoes.

Was I harsh for not giving her a bank card so she could travel home? I didn’t have a phone charger on me.

OP posts:
Mlddleoftheroad · 14/02/2026 22:22

She could have called a taxi and asked the driver to wait while she entered her house and picked up a card. She couldn't have left them the uncharged phone while she did this.

I don't understand the issue.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 14/02/2026 22:30

Gymconundrum · 14/02/2026 19:41

This thread has shown the perils of a cashless society and always take a charger with you.

This...

Or at the very least an emergency £10/20 note kept in your phone case.

Bunionbabe · 14/02/2026 22:33

If she was a cab or bus ride from home and carried no money, cards or a bag how did she get into town in the first place?

ForAmusedHazelQuoter · 14/02/2026 22:37

Bunionbabe · 14/02/2026 22:33

If she was a cab or bus ride from home and carried no money, cards or a bag how did she get into town in the first place?

Probably used her phone before it ran out of charge.

samarrange · 14/02/2026 22:38

When your car's petrol light comes on, you don't drive another 50 miles, you go to the next filling station. So running out of juice on your phone is pretty incompetent on its own. Yes, it can happen, but if you have even a minimum of discipline, when you get below 20% you stop watching TikTok and put it in flight mode. I might a expect 9yo kids to run out, not an adult who knows that getting home depends on it.

And yes, I know that phones get old and after a while they don't hold a charge very well. But then you get a new phone, or a power bank. If you can afford takeaway coffee, you can afford to put away £1 a week, which will buy you a brand new Samsung A-series phone outright after 3 years.

FourSevenTwo · 14/02/2026 22:42

What did she expected you to do? You said she has a form for that, what was the past help she received?

I walk around with just me phone and keys (and small headphones and half empty pack of paper tissues) a lot - I don't like purses and bags as a concept and don't see a need to carry them around when popping out.

I am very mindful about my phone battery though.

I sometimes recharge at parents/IL's house while visiting them, which neither I nor them see as CF/bailing out.
Once I needed 2€ cash help, when I've forgotten to bring it to chip in a group fee, so I asked around amd immediately transferred to someone who had the cash, I paid the fee for others a few times over the time, as it's nit uncommon.
Twice I wasn't able to buy something non-essential (broken terminal), but I realised the issue before ordering so no harm done to anyone.

BootleggedMaterial · 14/02/2026 22:44

samarrange · 14/02/2026 22:38

When your car's petrol light comes on, you don't drive another 50 miles, you go to the next filling station. So running out of juice on your phone is pretty incompetent on its own. Yes, it can happen, but if you have even a minimum of discipline, when you get below 20% you stop watching TikTok and put it in flight mode. I might a expect 9yo kids to run out, not an adult who knows that getting home depends on it.

And yes, I know that phones get old and after a while they don't hold a charge very well. But then you get a new phone, or a power bank. If you can afford takeaway coffee, you can afford to put away £1 a week, which will buy you a brand new Samsung A-series phone outright after 3 years.

Edited

My phone gets to 15% then right to 1%. Which is why I never ever rely on it for payment or travel tickets!

saraclara · 14/02/2026 22:54

spideysmumma · 14/02/2026 20:07

Your sister sounds like a loon but could you not have booked her an Uber using your phone?

OP has already said that she couldn't afford to.

Cherryicecreamx · 14/02/2026 23:00

Could you have got her an Uber or prepaid a taxi? Could you ask her to transfer you the fayre when she got home? Maybe bought her a charger?
I would only do this because I would feel uncomfortable leaving someone in difficulty. But having said that, it's not your responsibility and with repeat form I understand your frustration.
She sounds very immature overall.

CustardySergeant · 14/02/2026 23:07

Has a very high opinion of herself and has low self-esteem? That makes no sense at all. They are opposites.

Viviennemary · 14/02/2026 23:12

She's a silly spoilt brat. Don't bother with her until she grows up. Which might be never.

IdentityCris · 14/02/2026 23:41

If she wants to meet up again, remind her that you won't be bailing her out if she doesn't.have her cards and/or fully charged phone with her. She now knows you absolutely mean it and might just be able to get her act together.

likelysuspect · 14/02/2026 23:45

CustardySergeant · 14/02/2026 23:07

Has a very high opinion of herself and has low self-esteem? That makes no sense at all. They are opposites.

Nope, people with low self esteem often centre themselves inappropriately with a sense of entitlement, main character syndome.

VividPinkTraybake · 15/02/2026 00:10

Allisnotlost1 · 14/02/2026 19:05

Her behaviour is quite odd, NT or ND, and even so I’d still make sure my sister got home safely. I’d buy her a charger and charge her phone while we were together too. I’d also talk to her about why she does this - have you actually tried that?

Genuinely the best response. Other people may take pride in being petty or trying to teach a lesson but that is horrible. Better to get her home then talk to her later/not meet her again

VividPinkTraybake · 15/02/2026 00:12

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 14/02/2026 19:05

‘She’s often in this exact position’.

Ergo, she’s a piss taker, and expects those around her to fund her lifestyle.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice. Shame on me.

Or you know talk to her instead of trying to be the personification of a grim fairy tale

likelysuspect · 15/02/2026 00:15

VividPinkTraybake · 15/02/2026 00:12

Or you know talk to her instead of trying to be the personification of a grim fairy tale

Show quote history

What makes you think OP hasnt done that. Or the myriad of other people in her life?

Theres something wrong, some people just wont learn, cant prepare, dont care, cant think, cant process

Its fine if like the poster up thread described they're gracious about it and insightful, its quite another if you just get told to fuck off and it happens all over again. Some people are unable to be helped.

VividPinkTraybake · 15/02/2026 00:16

likelysuspect · 15/02/2026 00:15

What makes you think OP hasnt done that. Or the myriad of other people in her life?

Theres something wrong, some people just wont learn, cant prepare, dont care, cant think, cant process

Its fine if like the poster up thread described they're gracious about it and insightful, its quite another if you just get told to fuck off and it happens all over again. Some people are unable to be helped.

Show quote history

Well I don't know and neither does the poster. People here try and role play as hard asses instead of thinking of ocums razer.

likelysuspect · 15/02/2026 00:20

VividPinkTraybake · 15/02/2026 00:16

Well I don't know and neither does the poster. People here try and role play as hard asses instead of thinking of ocums razer.

Show quote history

But you do know and so does the other poster, OP says she has talked to her many many times and gets told to fuck off

Not much more to be done.

Shame for the sister but then thats her choice.

Trundlingblind · 15/02/2026 00:28

likelysuspect · 15/02/2026 00:20

But you do know and so does the other poster, OP says she has talked to her many many times and gets told to fuck off

Not much more to be done.

Shame for the sister but then thats her choice.

Show quote history

It mightn’t be completely her choice if she has something like adhd. If undiagnosed she may not have developed any supportive strategies to help her get organised. She may be completely frustrated with herself and sick of people telling her she’s doing things wrong…again.

shuggles · 15/02/2026 00:37

@JennyWren5 We are both adults with jobs and earning very similar salaries.

Just in case someone thought that a child had found their way onto the website.

Friendlygingercat · 15/02/2026 00:44

Many years ago I worked in a small call center in the city. We finished outrshift at 11 pm. I was able to walk home in about 20 minutes along a well lit route so I rarely bothered to take money with me, One colleague had a repution for "borrowing" (but not paying back) money for a taxi as she lived further out and the buses were infrequent. One shift she tried to borrow from me and was horrified when I told her I only had about £1 worth of change on me. She told me she was stranded because she had no money with her. I said "sorry I cant help. Get a cab and ask him to wait while you go in for some cash." and I left her to it. I didnt know what happened because I never saw her again. There were no mobiles or smart phones back then.

QuinceTamarillo · 15/02/2026 01:03

If I wanted to help my sister in situations like this, knowing that they'd always happen and that she would not do anything to help herself, I guess I'd carry a small power bank compatible with her phone and offer it to her to charge half an hour before we were going to go our separate ways. But it sounds like she handled things fine herself when you didn't help; this likely often happens to her when she's out alone too and you're much more concerned over it than she is.

Tangential I know, but it's horrible that no kind of transit in your city accepts cash. Are there no self-employed taxi drivers? What happens to homeless people, Luddite visitors (or foreigners who get dinged a currency conversion fee on their cards for each single local bus ticket), homeless people, minors?

CharlieMM1 · 15/02/2026 01:12

Has she always been a bit scatty? Even as a kid?

crackofdoom · 15/02/2026 01:13

CustardySergeant · 14/02/2026 23:07

Has a very high opinion of herself and has low self-esteem? That makes no sense at all. They are opposites.

Wow, have you never met somebody like that?

I have. More common in men, in my experience. The boasting, the fragile self esteem....the expectation that you'll constantly big them up...it's exhausting.

It's sometimes associated with ADHD.

Original poster
JennyWren5 · 15/02/2026 02:37

FancyLimePoet · 14/02/2026 21:07

she sounds unhinged. Like she enjoys this risky behaviour. Personally I couldn’t be dealing with that time after time.

This is so interesting. I’ve never thought about it this way, but now think you could be onto something.

I think she might enjoy - or at least be very used to - the risk of just having her phone alone as a payment method and running it down below 10% so it’s touch and go as to whether she’ll be able to get home using it.

OP posts: