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Original poster

To ask your perspective - sister unable to get home because she didn’t have bank cards with her and phone ran out of charge

216 replies

JennyWren5 · 14/02/2026 19:00

I could do with some perspective here please.

I met up with my sister today, and as we were both about to travel back to our respective homes (in the same city), she mentioned she didn’t have her bank cards with her and her phone was out of charge (her travel card was on her phone). She also had no phone charger.

This meant she couldn’t get home by Uber/other taxi service or by public transport (as it is cashless).

For context, she is often in this exact position - with me, with friends, with colleagues.

We are both adults with jobs and earning very similar salaries. And as far as I know, she is neurotypical (because I think people might ask this).

I’ve previously reminded her to take her bank cards with her and not just her phone, but she never does. I’ve now stopped reminding her because I can’t be bothered to. I’m angry that she seems to expect me to bail her out.

When I said I couldn’t help her today, she called me a selfish bitch and poured her takeaway coffee on the ground in front of me, spilling some on my shoes.

Was I harsh for not giving her a bank card so she could travel home? I didn’t have a phone charger on me.

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 14/02/2026 20:59

Well since she does this on a regular basis its time she learned a lesson.
She can walk home 😉

FindingMeno · 14/02/2026 21:01

I am also confused as to how this has happened before if its the first time.
I would never leave another woman, let alone my sister, struggling to get home if I was able to help.
I'd tackle the rest later.

Brefugee · 14/02/2026 21:05

NormasArse · 14/02/2026 19:03

You couldn’t help, or didn’t want to?

It must be bloody irritating, but you’d leave her stranded?

Not a bank card in case she lost it, but could you have got her a tenner out with your card?

Edited

I'd have left her stranded.
But then, i would have also left her stranded on past occasions too.

FancyLimePoet · 14/02/2026 21:07

she sounds unhinged. Like she enjoys this risky behaviour. Personally I couldn’t be dealing with that time after time.

godmum56 · 14/02/2026 21:07

Time to drop the rope OP

dudsville · 14/02/2026 21:13

I understand that you're angry that her repetitious behaviour is so irritating and she doesn't learn. Could you just meet up with her at her home in future? Or very near her home?

cantankerousoldcrone · 14/02/2026 21:15

I can't imagine not paying for my sister's uber, but I think it all depends on the nature of your relationship

Brefugee · 14/02/2026 21:22

Whyherewego · 14/02/2026 19:37

I had this happen ie my phone broke and I couldn't get home and nor could I phone anyone as I don't know anyone's phone number off my heart. I normally just carry a phone and no wallet as I feel it's less risky to have lots of different things that can be stolen. It was really upsetting ans luckily a kind TfL guy let me through the barriers so I could get home.
Surely she'd have paid you back if youd lent her a card.

bit daft, eh?

BootleggedMaterial · 14/02/2026 21:25

My feeling is that if she was that bothered about having to come up with a way to get home with no cards or phone, she would make at least the very, very, barest minimum effort to avoid it. Carry one card or charger.

The fact she'd prefer to risk today's situation than stick to any strategy to avoid it suggests it's not that much bother.

Obviously if it was the first time I'd feel differently, but she seems to choose this quite frequently.

Galatine · 14/02/2026 21:30

Gymconundrum · 14/02/2026 19:41

This thread has shown the perils of a cashless society and always take a charger with you.

Wrong. It shows that some people fail to take sensible precautions, to be responsible for their own lives and wellbeing.

Horses7 · 14/02/2026 21:33

Good for you - she’s a CF !

likelysuspect · 14/02/2026 21:43

JennyWren5 · 14/02/2026 19:00

I could do with some perspective here please.

I met up with my sister today, and as we were both about to travel back to our respective homes (in the same city), she mentioned she didn’t have her bank cards with her and her phone was out of charge (her travel card was on her phone). She also had no phone charger.

This meant she couldn’t get home by Uber/other taxi service or by public transport (as it is cashless).

For context, she is often in this exact position - with me, with friends, with colleagues.

We are both adults with jobs and earning very similar salaries. And as far as I know, she is neurotypical (because I think people might ask this).

I’ve previously reminded her to take her bank cards with her and not just her phone, but she never does. I’ve now stopped reminding her because I can’t be bothered to. I’m angry that she seems to expect me to bail her out.

When I said I couldn’t help her today, she called me a selfish bitch and poured her takeaway coffee on the ground in front of me, spilling some on my shoes.

Was I harsh for not giving her a bank card so she could travel home? I didn’t have a phone charger on me.

You say she is NT but she doesnt sound it. I havent read your other posts.

Moveoverdarlin · 14/02/2026 21:50

When she poured the coffee in the floor I would have laughed in her face and said ‘Well that helps. Now you’ve got no phone, no money, no coffee and a sister that thinks you're a spoilt fucking twat’. And then I would have walked away. She sounds like an entitled, 5 year old.

Mcdhotchoc · 14/02/2026 22:00

I don't blame you at all
My youngest daughter is 17. She puts a bank card inside her phone case, between the phone and the case, just in case!

BoundaryGirl3939 · 14/02/2026 22:03

In the previous in incedentts you bailed her out, did she pay you back?

SugarPuffSandwiches · 14/02/2026 22:08

WonderingAndOverthinking · 14/02/2026 19:09

I wouldn’t be helping anyone who tipped their coffee on the floor in front of me like a toddler having a tantrum.

This
WTF

Whatwouldnanado · 14/02/2026 22:08

She doesn’t sound very nice. You have done your best to help her be more organised and she swears in response. It’s not compulsory to meet with siblings so I wouldn’t bother with her for a while.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 14/02/2026 22:10

NormasArse · 14/02/2026 19:03

You couldn’t help, or didn’t want to?

It must be bloody irritating, but you’d leave her stranded?

Not a bank card in case she lost it, but could you have got her a tenner out with your card?

Edited

Depends on how many times OP and others have bailed her out - and whether she pays them back. Sometimes the hard way is the only way to learn. And tipping her coffee like that is just a pathetic tantrum - she sounds entitled and obnoxious.

likelysuspect · 14/02/2026 22:11

DotAndCarryOne2 · 14/02/2026 22:10

Depends on how many times OP and others have bailed her out - and whether she pays them back. Sometimes the hard way is the only way to learn. And tipping her coffee like that is just a pathetic tantrum - she sounds entitled and obnoxious.

Edited
Show quote history

Doesnt sound like she is capable of learning which is why I questioned whether she was ND

Either way, its not on OP to manage that

OP says they both live in the same city, its not unfeasible she was less than 6 miles from home say, thats only a 2 hour walk. Unpleasant yes, not impossible though.

placemats · 14/02/2026 22:11

JennyWren5 · 14/02/2026 19:12

She never packs a charger or power bank (of which she has several) or bank cards or a purse. She didn’t even have a bag with her today.

I have asked her many, many times why she does this - but never get an answer, just a swear word in reply (usually, ‘fuck off’). I have previously bought her purses and power banks to help with this.

Show quote history

Why do you meet up with her?

Sesma · 14/02/2026 22:14

well, she will have to walk home, tough really

marcyhermit · 14/02/2026 22:14

You're doing the right thing by just saying oh dear, what a pickle and leaving her to it.

Sskso · 14/02/2026 22:19

i would help someone once as this is a repeat pattern for her no, especially when she’s pouring coffee and swearing. She clearly has a problem but that’s hers to solve and find a method for so she doesn’t keep getting stranded

WDWY · 14/02/2026 22:19

This really made me chuckle, as my sister is similarly ditzy (but never, ever rude and she wouldn't have done the coffee thing). She will often be running on 3% battery and have to scurry around borrowing chargers in cafes to get around. I can't understand it, but I love her, and she's very kind. In your case, I would draw some boundaries to avoid the situation where she expects you to bail her out. I suspect you're the older sister!

swingingbytheseat · 14/02/2026 22:20

ADHD person here. This has happened to me and I’ve borrowed chargers from strangers, baristas and bar staff, even on a train once so I could tap through the train gates. Admittedly I’ve helped other people in similar fixes, e.g a bloke at the airport who put too many toiletries in his hand luggage, someone who’d forgotten their laptop charger in a co-work space. . I think neurodivergent people can spot each other. Something about your sister though doesn’t sound very resourceful which must be winding you up more than her forgetfulness. There’s a codependency or something maybe you’re tired of ?