To ask your perspective - sister unable to get home because she didn’t have bank cards with her and phone ran out of charge

[JennyWren5]

I could do with some perspective here please.

I met up with my sister today, and as we were both about to travel back to our respective homes (in the same city), she mentioned she didn’t have her bank cards with her and her phone was out of charge (her travel card was on her phone). She also had no phone charger.

This meant she couldn’t get home by Uber/other taxi service or by public transport (as it is cashless).

For context, she is often in this exact position - with me, with friends, with colleagues.

We are both adults with jobs and earning very similar salaries. And as far as I know, she is neurotypical (because I think people might ask this).

I’ve previously reminded her to take her bank cards with her and not just her phone, but she never does. I’ve now stopped reminding her because I can’t be bothered to. I’m angry that she seems to expect me to bail her out.

When I said I couldn’t help her today, she called me a selfish bitch and poured her takeaway coffee on the ground in front of me, spilling some on my shoes.

Was I harsh for not giving her a bank card so she could travel home? I didn’t have a phone charger on me.

You are not actually supposed to let anyone else your bank card.

You couldn’t help, or didn’t want to?

It must be bloody irritating, but you’d leave her stranded?

Not a bank card in case she lost it, but could you have got her a tenner out with your card?

YANBU

Sometimes the only time people learn is when other people stop picking up the pieces for them. You've gotta be cruel to be kind and all that.

Sometimes its the only way people learn...

I didn’t.

She sounds a right charmer.

If she isn't in any danger then I'd just leave her to it and she might just learn her lesson.

Her behaviour is quite odd, NT or ND, and even so I’d still make sure my sister got home safely. I’d buy her a charger and charge her phone while we were together too. I’d also talk to her about why she does this - have you actually tried that?

You are not responsible for her. Sadly it seems neither is she!

she could have:
carried cash
Carried a bank card
carried a portable charger
turned her phone off when it got a bit low
or charged her phone fully before she came out.

Relying on you to bail her out should never have been an option in her mind!!

‘She’s often in this exact position’.

Ergo, she’s a piss taker, and expects those around her to fund her lifestyle.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice. Shame on me.

On the previous occasions where you’ve had to bail her out, does she pay you back? If not, I probably wouldn’t go out with her again!

I wouldn’t be giving anyone my
bank card.

I know

Did she get home ok?

I’d have googled a pub that has phone charging and taken her to it and paid for her to use the charger for 30 mins. Then I’d have told her you won’t do it next time and that she needs to bring her own bank card for emergencies.

Next time, I’d do as you have here.

Buy her a power bank

Both.

I couldn’t afford to help my sister, as I don’t earn much money and have quite a strict budget.

I was also very fed up that she was in this situation again, after many reminders from me and others and after her swearing at me and pouring coffee on me today when I said I wouldn’t help her. As I wrote in my OP, I’m angry that she seems to expect me to bail her out. It seems very entitled.

Giving her money wouldn’t have helped because all the transport systems in our city (public transport and taxi) are cashless.

How did she pay for the coffee? I would have just walked away

She’s got three!!

I wouldn’t be helping anyone who tipped their coffee on the floor in front of me like a toddler having a tantrum.

Yes, she did. I’ve heard from family that they’ve heard from her and she texted me about an hour after I left where we were.

On her birthday buy her a phone case with pockets so that she can slot her bank card in it.

She never packs a charger or power bank (of which she has several) or bank cards or a purse. She didn’t even have a bag with her today.

I have asked her many, many times why she does this - but never get an answer, just a swear word in reply (usually, ‘fuck off’). I have previously bought her purses and power banks to help with this.

Me neither.

sod that
I’d be telling her to grow up and fuck off.
she’s an adult ffs

How far would the walk have been?

How did she get back?