How do you politely ask people not to use their phones at an event?

[Bluewhale01]

Hi
Long time lurker amd occasional poster!

I wanted to ask how we can prevent people from using their mobile phones at a big life event our parents.

We would like to put something on the invite that we would rather they were present in the moment, and would rather no phones were there. Dh is taking some photos along with a friend of ours (a professional photographer) There is a relative who will spend all their time texting family or phoning them at any event they attend,so they are our intended recipient of the message really.

What would you put on the invite? I want it to be quite clear and to the point without being rude ifyswim?

Hopefully someone will know how to phrase it.

How about putting a cute naff little poem on the invitaion @Scoutingforducks #CheeseAlert

Something like.....

We look forward to seeing you for my parents celebration, to give them some laughs and a good day. We have a photographer who will share all the snaps, that he'll be taking along the way.

We look forward to seeing you, and hope you can come, and have a really good time, but I wanted to add a little request, if it's OK, and you don't mind...

I know it's the 2020s, and everyone's glued to their phone, but my family and I for our parents celebration, would like you and you alone.

To help us celebrate with no interruptions, or beeps or buzzes, or bongs, it is a special celebration after all, and you won't be without your phone for too long.

If you'd please switch your phone off just for a few hours, so we can all celebrate and have fun together, it's only a wee while, so we can dance and have fun, it's not gonna be forever! :)

Look forward to seeing you there!!!

I think you were the one to jump in and make it all about your idol, weren't you?

She made a snarky post to me

I replied in kind

You jumped in with a weird arse-kissy write up on this poster that has absolutely no relevance to anything.

But I think that's enough about it now.

Fantastic!! That would be perfect amd might raise a smile or to in the family

Or a poem?

No phones! No devices! We ask you in earnest!
Any phones that we see will be chucked in the furnace.
And if this doth pain you, I'm sorry to be blunt,
But Cousin Sally-Anne is a Facetiming cunt.

It's a diamond wedding anniversary

Thank you! Hope it does the trick. 😘

It wouldn’t have started if you hadn’t felt the need to police @Rizzz’s comments or reactions. Maybe stay out of it next time?

@AnnieLummox 😬

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They undoubtedly have things going on in their lives, but whilst they are in the training session, they are at work and they are being paid. And the PowerPoint presentation isn’t riveting, no. But the training is mandatory, it covers an important topic and unless you are happy to be treated by NHS staff who aren’t keeping up to date with their training, then they should be paying attention and keeping their phones in their pockets.

I went to a wedding that was billed as "unplugged".
The invitations had a line at the bottom saying: "please note this is an unplugged/offline event. We would be so grateful if you would switch phones off or leave them on silent during our celebrations"
There were a few signs discreetly positioned around the venue asking people not to use mobile phones. Almost everyone agreed/complied.
I think the couple wanted everyone in the moment and didn't want the whole thing filmed and uploaded etc.

Grown adults that can't possibly be detached from their phone for an hour or so are like toddlers that tantrum for their dummy.

The reason any wording will sound rude is because you are essentially making two points:

a) don’t be rude.
b) you can only have the photos my husband and his friend take.

Point A will always come across as rude in an invitation. You can word it however you like but will always come across as “we think you need to be told not to be rude with your phone”.

Point B will always come across as a bit unreasonable. Fair enough during any vows or speeches not to have phones waving around. But a lot of people would feel “why can’t I ask someone to take a nice picture of me and my partner all dressed up?”

I agree with this. Mobile phones have defintely destroyed (some) peoples manners! Mobile phones are a useful tool, but some people are glued to it, and I do get quite irritated by a few people I know...

One of my adult DC has theirs with them all the time, and when they visit us, they can't go a full minute without 'checking' it, and having a little scroll though to see if they've got any new WhatsApp messages, or text messages, or emails etc. 2 hours they're with us, the first time they've visited in a month, and they have their eyes on their phone for some two thirds of the time they're here. I know it's an addiction, so I try to not get too annoyed, but it is a bit irksome. They still do manage to chat to us and listen to us and so on, but they have one eye on their phone, around 65% of the time they're here. Weirdly, they don't look at it much when we visit them, or if I meet them for a coffee... Just when they're at ours. Still a bit annoying though!

I also see a friend (ex colleague) for a coffee every 4-6 weeks, and she does pretty much the same. (She is in her 50s, unlike DC who are late 20s,) which surprises me, as most people who are Gen X are not addicted to their phone. She has her eye(s) on her phone about 50% of the hour and a half I am with her. Also answers calls, and texts, and WhatsApp messages while I'm with her.

Most of the time there is no need to respond straight away. It's her husband phoning to ask 'what time is tea?' or her daughter asking if she can get a lift to Shannon's house on Saturday (3 days later,) or her mum asking her to bring a load of bread round as she's nearly run out. They actually phone!

I find it really rude. She spends an hour and a half with me, maybe 8-9 times a year, and can't put her phone on silent/DND for that very short time. Also, I don't know about her mum, but her daughter, and her husband know she is with me, but still ring her. I don't know who is more rude, them for ringing when they know she is with me, or her for bloody answering!

I would not count on a photographer taking pictures that included me or my immediate family. I also like being able to delete ones that make me look horrendous!

I think the best thing to do would be for OP to have a word with the offender before the event.

Nobody will miss out on having their photos taken, and I doubt that OP's DH will be charging for photos.

@Iggi999 , you can't delete photos that someone else has taken of you. If someone's taking photos of you or streaming it, your bad photo will be seen by others before you see it.

Me too! I had a few fecking awful photos of me/with me on them, taken at a close relative's wedding a couple of years ago! There was a photographer who spent the day there, and she took about 600 photos from the pre wedding goings-on, to the night do. So she was there from 11.30am to around 8pm.

There were some nice/OK photos of me, but on about 7 photos I looked like a bog monster. 😬

Luckily, NONE of the offending photos - where I looked shite - surfaced anywhere, and only around 150-200 ended up being printed by people.

Most of the main guests at the wedding, got a link to all 600 photos, and they were allowed to pick what they wanted, and get them printed themselves. We picked around 50.

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@SabreIsMyFave , at a sibling's wedding, the photographer took one photo of me other than in a group shot. It wasn't kept. I can only hope I don't look that strange IRL.

😆

Ditto! I bloody well hope I don't look like the few pics where I looked like a bog monster!!

I was on around 65 of the photos, and I looked sorta like the woman in pic 1 on most of them, (like,OK/fine,) but I looked more like pic 2 on the 7 'bog monster ones!' 😬

Slight exaggeration, but hopefully you catch my drift!

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Yes of course, but then I'm left with no photos I'd be happy to display that include me. If I've taken some with my own camera that doesn't happen.

@SabreIsMyFave , the 1st photo looks nice. The second is how I think I look.

The sibling's wedding one was me with my hair too light and too short and my skin looking very pale, and I'd sort of hunched in it. I was young so it looked like I was cringing and it was the one occasion when I've been fat.

I wasn't overweight BMI-wise but at the top end, and for me that is far too heavy.

@Iggi999 , do you get your 'friends' telling you that the hideous photo of you is a really good photo? 😦I do.

Thank you in advance for being present in the moment and leaving your phone switched off or silent during the event.

So a party?

I don't get the big deal to be honest. We would need a babysitter so I would want to have my phone on for emergencies. I'd also like some snaps of me and DH, not the posed awful ones that a prof would take. I probably wouldn't bother coming as you sound a bit precious.

@Nickyknackered , not even if it was your DGP's 60th wedding anniversary?

I wouldn’t actively sit on fb at a party be it wedding, birthday, anniversary or Christening, however I’d be a bit hmm and annoyed at the fragile grandiosity of someone who expected me to be completely not contactable to be ‘more present’ and centre on celebrating them.