What would be your life tip?

[dazedandblue]

I am slowly approaching 40, which obviously means I’m having a bit of a pre mid-life crisis. With that, I’m taking stock of things and seeing what small changes I can implement for the next 40 years.

So give me your best tips and tricks and life advice.

For younger me, I would have said just do the thing (whatever it is in the situation), put yourself out there. You’ll love it.

For me now, I’m working through and putting together my financial plans. They’re ok, but need optimising.

But I don’t plan to stop there - the last maybe 5-10 years I’ve lost myself a little so now I’m ready for my revival.

So I’m ready to hear all your wise words!

I’ve got to 40 and learnt to stop being a people pleaser!

Tbh I’ve changed and grown in wisdom so much since my 20s. I honestly believe we should live life backwards - be born old and get younger. It would make things so much easier as by the time we were young we would’ve learnt so much and could appreciate and live our youth to the fullest!

Push through imposter syndrome
The best way to save money is to earn more
Marry someone supportive
Appreciate friends
(With kids) Slow down the rush and do things at their pace - when possible!!

Make mistakes. Lots of them. Big ones.

Life's a joke, not a test.

Learn to say "No", and to stand up for yourself. Your choices and opinions are as valid as anyone else's. Do not be a people-pleaser, as it only makes you miserable!

Don't give in to family/peer pressure. If it doesn't make you happy, then it's not for you! It's your life that you're living, not theirs. Your life is your responsibility, so fill it with as much happiness and joy as you can find!

Try not to worry about what other people think, as it will hold you back.

Take some time to get to know yourself as a person. You're more than what other people think that you should be.

Be independent. You are the most important person in your world, so look after yourself physically, mentally and financially. Learn to cook, clean, handle your finances, and be able to look after yourself before you take on the responsibility of looking after someone else.

If someone has more red flags than the Soviets, run. Don't get tied down with them, or they'll drag you down, too.

A woman can do everything that a man can, apart from producing a sperm sample. Don't let your sex hold you back, and don't let other people put you down for what you do or don't have in your underwear.

Treat yourself and others with kindness and respect.

Trust your instincts.

Keep learning about everything that interests you. That way, life will be interesting forever!

Be bold and brave. You're fabulous!

Do what you want to do, not what you feel you should do, not what others expect of you and not the thing that appeases others.

I’m 54 and it’s taken me many years to decide this is ok. I feel so much better for it and don’t feel I have to do things I don’t want to do anymore.

In the work place. I'd say understand that a lot of people you may think are scarily self confident when you are young and scared are actually doing a good job of covering it up. Copy them!
It's the origin of the 'fake it till you make it' advice.
Also 'do nothing' is a valid option sometimes.

This one has really thrown me. I feel very differently!!

I would say ‘body over anything’ as often times your body knows something but your head/heart hasn’t caught up and can’t make sense of it. Your body tells you things, so tune into it.

Also be around nature when at all possible. Especially big trees.

Same. I stopped drinking at 35. Got my shit together

Don't waste time on men 🤣 sounds funny but I ended up sacrificing so much of myself unintentionally trying to incorporate a relationship into my life. Relationships require time and effort and I feel I can use my time more wisely.

^ This is really important. A lot of people don't see the bigger picture and surround themselves with material shit or worry about the trivial and inconsequential.

As you turn 50, you start to see the end of the road: If you are not enjoying every day of your life, haven't discovered a sense of contentment, can't find joy in the smallest of things then you are seriously doing something wrong. Make the most of the last thirty years or so, open your heart, let go of hate, have fun, enjoy discovering new things and new people. There are so many great things in life. Have a ball. Take nothing or no-one for granted.

"The youth is wasted on the young" as they say.

This !! Such a good perspective and I'm going to try and implement it

Im turning 40 next year so watching this with interest. I am definitely trying to teach myself to not be a people pleaser to what is often my own detriment. Find joy for myself now my children are growing. Stop giving in to members of my family who often put pressure on me to do something I dont want to do. Enjoy my children growing, even when they're testing. And fwiw I dont want a dog. Ever.

Me too - worse than kids, at least kids grow and gain independence!

If I had the wisdom I do now, I would absolutely not get a dog.

She’s gorgeous. But she ruined my life.

That’s what my friend says, she hardly ever goes on holidays or does long days out. She works weekends so her DH can look after the dog.

Prosecco can get you to most places.

Don’t start smoking.
Buy property however and whenever you get the opportunity.
Don’t get married.
Travel to a different place every year.
Don’t have more money than you need.
Always show gratitude and kindness.
Make a conscious decision to do better tomorrow.

Love this😍
Some great tips on here, surprised so many say give up alcohol - I did this myself recently for 6 months and finally now (age 54) have learned the art of moderation. Life changing.

I’ll add one I haven’t seen yet:

Travel as much as you can, see new countries, experience different cultures and step outside of your comfort zone. On a budget, a day trip, a quick overnighter, solo or with a friend or family. There’s more out there than all inclusive & big hotels ✈️😎

The most important thing? Is your own happiness.

Assume other people mean well. Don’t assume they want to hurt you. Everyone has had their heart broken. It makes it easier to love them if you remember that.

If you ever fall ill, and you think it could be serious...do not let a doctor dismiss your concerns. Get a second opinion as it may save your life.

Keep up to date with smear tests and mammograms. Get your flu jab. Get therapy. Learn to meditate - it’s life-changing.
Support others but look after yourself too.
We all make mistakes. Learn from them and move on. Never think your life is ruined. There is always hope.

And "Be prepared" Honestly, advance planning and preparation avoids so much stress.

If it doesn't make sense (for you), don't do it.

Obviously you need to be reasonable, but there are a lot of things people seem to do out of convention which don't suit them at all. For instance, when it came to planning our wedding DH and I did away with/adjusted some of traditional bits that just didn't seem to work for us (people starving on canapes from lunchtime till about 4pm, for instance) and got really good feedback. But there was nothing radical in what we did.