What would be your life tip?

[dazedandblue]

I am slowly approaching 40, which obviously means I’m having a bit of a pre mid-life crisis. With that, I’m taking stock of things and seeing what small changes I can implement for the next 40 years.

So give me your best tips and tricks and life advice.

For younger me, I would have said just do the thing (whatever it is in the situation), put yourself out there. You’ll love it.

For me now, I’m working through and putting together my financial plans. They’re ok, but need optimising.

But I don’t plan to stop there - the last maybe 5-10 years I’ve lost myself a little so now I’m ready for my revival.

So I’m ready to hear all your wise words!

Try to find one with low charges

Take time to really prioritise yourself; as women we are seen as default care givers and expected to put ourselves last.

I say this as someone who's boundaries were eroded for years by controlling parents, it's really hard to get out of that mindset.

It was only during the menopause that my eyes were really opened to how I was being treated by family ( and some friends). I'm putting myself first now. It's very liberating. I just wish I'd done it sooner.

Do not sunbathe.

Don’t take your bad mood out on other people, especially your loved ones. Love them enough to treat them properly.

Oh god and PENSION. As early as you can. Future you will be so very very grateful.

An obvious one, but: 'Comparison is the thief of joy.'

Staying in my lane and not being concerned about where others are in the 'race' has always stood me well.

Periodically or after significant life events, bereavement, divorce etc review your friends and decide whether you want to take them forward with you into the next phase. Friends are not automatically for life, they have to earn their place.

Be in control of your finances, stop buying unnecessary things to stifle emotions.

Fresh air and exercise will help almost all situations.

About £2.20 per day will get you there.

Learn to mind your own business. Don't give unsolicited opinions regarding adult children's marriage. Pay more into pension.

From what age?

make your own health a priority - doing Pilates, yoga, swimming, walking - anything you enjoy. It’s so easy for domestic or work or family priorities to take up all your time.

Always remember that "actions speak louder than words".
For a long time I made the mistake of trusting what certain people said to me, when their actions didn't match that. In a similar vein "when someone shows you who they are, believe them". It's so true.

Look after your mental health. So find time to do hobbies or activities you enjoy. Try and get enough sleep. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't let people drain you. It's nice to offer support where you can but keep strong boundaries for your own well being. I was a people pleaser for years and when the time came that I needed support, they all scattered like cockroaches when a light goes on! Now I'm much more reserved on what help/support I will offer someone.

Be on your own side. This means don't put yourself down, be that your looks, intelligence, personality, etc. In a world of "be kind" remember to be kind to yourself.

For 50 years - compounding annually at 6%.

Live life the way you want to not how you think others want you to. Spend the money you have if it makes you happy. Saving for a rainy day may never happen so enjoy yourself while you can.

Periodically or after significant life events, bereavement, divorce etc review your friends and decide whether you want to take them forward with you into the next phase. Friends are not automatically for life, they have to earn their place.

I can't agree with this.
Friendships can change as you both meander through life. Just because someone wasn't able to support you at one period of their life doesn't mean that you won't be close in the future.
There isn't a finite number of friends you are allowed, so some have to be culled every few years.
I meet up with friends I went to University with (most of us now retired) and the people I might see or be in touch with more often, or relate to or am closer to now aren't necessarily the ones I was close to over 40 years ago. Same with friends from other walks of life - there have been periods where A or B was closer and C and D less so, and periods where I might really be close to D or even E. I've never 'reviewed' friends and never, ever consider anyone needs to do something to 'earn' my friendship.

Life tip?
Well, I'm 46, happily married for two decades and never had to work.
ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF FIRST, AS SOON AS YOU START TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS WORLD IS ABOUT.
NEVER HAVE CHILDREN.
MARRY ONLY IF IT SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVES YOUR LIFE.
Speaking for myself.
This is not meant as screaming, these should be banners.
💐

Never have children? Think we'll all be screwed if that happens!

Confidence is key to everything. So find ways to improve your self confidence. Learn to stop putting yourself down. Have the confidence to try new things, put yourself out there. Don't wait for the lad/man you fancy to ask you out - ask him out - you've literally nothing to lose. Apply for jobs that seem above your level of qualifications, experience, abilities - you never know - if they don't get many applicants who "tick all the boxes", they may consider someone who is close but needs extra training etc and may be impressed you had the confidence to apply!

As you get older (I'm 61!), you realise that you're just as good, if not better, than lots of other people who you perceive to have been more successful whether career wise, in love, in finances, etc., and you realise what you "could have" achieved if you'd had the confidence to go beyond your comfort zone.

Many successful people are successful because of their self confidence, self belief, etc., not that they're better than you.

Don’t get married , don’t have kids. Do the job you want and get a pension.

Do you include your partner? Lifelong very close friends? Your children? In trusting trusting anyone ever?

Never mistake apparent confidence for competence, or humility for weakness. Especially at work.

Remember that no one likes a smart arse.

Look after your health.

Apparently mid life is really less than age 40 and that's if we all get to live to 80!

Pick a life partner who makes you happy.
Don't stress about the little things.
Don't have children.
Wear sunscreen.
Spend time in nature.