What would be your life tip?

[dazedandblue]

I am slowly approaching 40, which obviously means I’m having a bit of a pre mid-life crisis. With that, I’m taking stock of things and seeing what small changes I can implement for the next 40 years.

So give me your best tips and tricks and life advice.

For younger me, I would have said just do the thing (whatever it is in the situation), put yourself out there. You’ll love it.

For me now, I’m working through and putting together my financial plans. They’re ok, but need optimising.

But I don’t plan to stop there - the last maybe 5-10 years I’ve lost myself a little so now I’m ready for my revival.

So I’m ready to hear all your wise words!

Learn how to cook

You'll be healthy and save a fortune

Don't wait for things to come to you - actively seek what you want.
Make a choice to present a cheerful front - definitely a 'fake it helps you make it' one.
Don't hand over responsibility for your life to anyone.
Find contentment in what you have as constantly wanting more is a waste of life.

Care less about what other people may think. Don’t let them (or it) live rent-free in your head.

A few really:

Give up alcohol
Get out of debt
Write a will

Write a will.
Look into HRT now and decide if you’re having it or not.
Stop alcohol.
Find an exercise you like and stick at it from now until you can’t exercise any more.
Take good care of your teeth.

Do what makes you happy, irrespective of what others think (as long as it isn't illegal of course).

Don't covert what others have - on that path lies feelings of insufficiency and jealousy. Be happy with what you have and surround yourself with things that have meaning for you.

Invest in your future, not material things. It's easy to blow 500 on "experiences" which could do much more for your future if invested. There's so many low cost ways to have a good time.

Have close friends not lots of acquaintances. I know my friends will be there for me in a heartbeat whereas people with lots of acquaintances are let down when it really counts.

Start a pension as early as possible. No matter how small, even if it’s £1 a week at first, get the pension going. At the average return of 6% per year, over 50 years, that would be worth 250k.

How much do you need to invest to get 250k @BoredZelda?

Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

I am sixty.

Quit alcohol. Your skin, waistline and internal organs will thank you.

Read the Stoics. Most of the things we waste time worrying about never happen.

Head over heart. Thankfully menopause makes this so much easier.

Boundaries. Learn to say no.

Sunscreen.

Move your body every day.

Be optimistic.

Treat advice with caution. Not everyone has your best interests at heart and some people offer advice tinged with jealousy or an ulterior motive. Others may genuinely think they’re being helpful but what they’re actually doing is offloading their own regrets and disappointments.

It took me years to realise this!

Learn to say no if you don't want to but say yes to new things.
Go out dancing as much as you can.
Try new things and go to new places. Don't stick to the same old. Life is short variety makes it longer.
Keep meeting people, making new friends and keeping up with old ones. Loneliness can creep in otherwise.
Keep strong (garden, weights, carrying stuff even if someone else can)
Keep fit (join a new sport, I took up football and tennis in my forties and climbing in my 50s).
Become more open minded, not less. My older acquaintances who did this are far far happier than the ones who watch/ doom news (gb news, DM, facebook etc). They are much more positive and less bitter.
Avoid getting overweight, you can get away with it for a bit but it has a big impact on having a decent quality of life as you age.

I second that.
I put a well thought out post up which got a lot of like/loved. But a couple of very negative responses
I almost asked Mumsnet ti remove it.
But I thought , well not much I can do if they can’t see the wood for the trees, let them stay in their self made rage bubble.

None of it matters. Not really, not in the grand scheme. No one is thinking about you, your work, your life and within 2 generations you're unlikely to be remembered by anyone at all.

I find this very freeing. It reminds me that my life is my own to enjoy or squander or struggle through. However shit (or great) something feels today, tomorrow is likely to be different. No regrets, no apologies and no pride - move forwards and wear it all lightly.

You can’t please all people all of the time. And trust your gut. In 50 years mine has never been wrong.

If it’s not an immediate yes then it’s a definite no

Don't poke a sleeping bear with a pointed stick.

My top tip would be marrying a man as good as my husband. He makes my life immeasurably better and I hope I do the same for him. Not tied at the hip, we have a lot of separate friends and interests but going through life with your best friend is good.

Other than that, remember that most things are not as important as they seem at the time. Whenever you have a stressful moment, a problem, a delay, ask yourself how important this will be in five years time.

Eat real food mainly
Be active. It doesn’t have to be strenuous if you’re not that type of person. Walking, cycling, short home workouts are fine.
Get out in nature as often as you can. There are so many benefits.
keep learning.
Go places near and far
save any money if you can afford to regularly

Stop wishing your life away concentrate on the here and now . Be grateful for what you do have and not what you want . Spend time with your parents as they won’t always be here.

Sort out any issues that you think you need therapy for. I'm 45 and wish I'd done that sooner but did after 40.

Get your colours done professionally if you don't know what suits you. Failing that, just commit to wear more red, it is a great colour to wear splashes of.

Rebel Finance School to get on top of savings and investments.

Also, bit curve ball, but start thinking about what legacy you want to leave behind.

• Don't waste time and energy worrying about things you can't change;
• Carpe diem. In other words, don't put things off that you really want to do;
• Have self-respect and don't put up with other people treating you badly, whether that's your boss, family, friend or partner;
• Find exercise that you enjoy and do it, but it really helps if that exercise can be easily fitted into your life;
• Invest in your mental health. Make time for yourself, your interests and your friends, get out in nature, if you can;
• Have your own career, savings and pension;
• Make time for the people you love - you won't have them forever and you never know how long you've got.

Pay into a pension.

Open a Stocks and Shares ISA, set up a direct debit of whatever you can afford a month, even if it's £10 and then leave it alone.

Learn the art of contentment and appreciating the little things. Don't always be chasing the better house, the more expensive car etc. Learn how to be happy with simple pleasures.

Trying to add something not already said - know where the money is kept. Do not give other people full control over aspects of your life that can negatively impact you.