What would be your life tip?

[dazedandblue]

I am slowly approaching 40, which obviously means I’m having a bit of a pre mid-life crisis. With that, I’m taking stock of things and seeing what small changes I can implement for the next 40 years.

So give me your best tips and tricks and life advice.

For younger me, I would have said just do the thing (whatever it is in the situation), put yourself out there. You’ll love it.

For me now, I’m working through and putting together my financial plans. They’re ok, but need optimising.

But I don’t plan to stop there - the last maybe 5-10 years I’ve lost myself a little so now I’m ready for my revival.

So I’m ready to hear all your wise words!

Get a dog.

Live for today, but plan for tomorrow.

Get a dog.

Life is so fucking short, never lose sight of how short it really is.

Be interested in other people. This one thing WILL change your life. If you walk around ignoring others, they will ignore you. You'll quickly become invisible and irrelevant.

Your health is worth more than money. Don't risk it just to get a paycheck.

Get a dog.

What other people think of you is none of your business, dont concern yourself with their opinions.

If you have an opportunity to help someone, do it. Sooner or later, it will come back to you.

Get a dog.

Get a dog.

Or don't! I would HATE to have a bloody dog. Needy and a huge tie.

I feel sorry for you . . .

Oh please don't! Not everyone likes dogs, you know. I have a beautiful cat that I adore, but I would never advise other people to 'get a cat', because maybe they don't want one or don't like cats.

Pay as much as you can into a pension, from as early as possible.
Don't stay in a bad marriage (and have high standards when deciding what a good marriage looks like).
Never be financially dependent on anyone.
Travel a lot when you are young.

If you're worrying about something, ask yourself whether it will still matter in a week, a month, a year's time.

Some things will still matter in those timeframes, of course, but it helps you keep things in perspective.

If all else fails it can be paradoxically comforting to remember that in (e.g.) 50 years you will be dead and absolutely nothing will matter to you anymore.

What a really nasty comment on an otherwise positive and interesting Thread. Evangelical dog people are some of the most annoying and boring People around. A bit like people who expect you to find their children as captivating and adorable as they do.

I like dogs. I have no intention of getting one because I love the freedom and spontaneity of my like now my kids have left home.

Keep in contact with the friends from your 20s, they share so much of your memories, your humour etc and it's so difficult to make those types of friends later.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Free yourself from worrying about things that don't matter, but I wish I knew how.
Wear sunscreen and moisturiser.
Be curious about the small things and enjoy nature.
Don't wish for bigger and better things, but if you can spend less and thus retire earlier, it's great.

Mine is to set things as you mean to go on very early on if you meet someone - it becomes far more difficult down the line to change things without it looking like a complaint/moaning/ be that housework, money or childcare expectations

Make sure you are financially secure whether in a relationship or not. If everything went belly up, could you manage fine by yourself?

Live within your means. Neither a borrower or a lender be. Do not rely on others too much, be independent and able to look after yourself, by yourself.

Eat well and stay active. That doesn't necessarily mean going to gym at 5am, just a daily brisk walk at least.

Friends can be very overrated, do not rely on them but keep up social interraction.

Remove negative people from your life. Only catch the headline news, do not dwell on endless reports, horrible descriptions of war, Trump, and all that. You have no control over it. None.

I'll stop there for now. FWIW I am 68 now, live alone and feel happy and secure. I had my tough days too though!

Don't lend money to anybody unless you can afford to not get it back 🙁

See a podiatrist now. Looking after your feet now is important. Don't wait until you have problems. So many joint/hip/knee/back problems in later life are due to poor gait - if you sort that early on you will save yourself so much trouble and pain later on.

Use this next ten years to sort out any issues you have. What holds you back? What makes you anxious? Do you have any stored up trauma/insecurity? Get these things out and deal with them now and you will free yourself for the next stage of your life. If you don't deal with them they will limit you forever.

Live Now. Make every day special - don't waste them looking for some magical time in the future when all will be perfect.

Know that you will never be younger or more beautiful than you are today.

When you stand or walk, push your heart to the sky. Your whole posture will change and you will walk tall for the rest of your days. It is a simple but significant thing.

Fully inhabit yourself.

Getting older can feel like this. If you do it right.

The Orange

At lunchtime I bought a huge orange—
The size of it made us all laugh.
I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave—
They got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy,
As ordinary things often do
Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park.
This is peace and contentment. It’s new.

The rest of the day was quite easy.
I did all the jobs on my list
And enjoyed them and had some time over.
I love you. I’m glad I exist.

Wendy Cope

Look after your health.

If you smoke, vape or take recreational drugs, quit. Alcohol is fine in moderation but try to nave more booze-free days than drinking days.

If you’re overweight, sort it out now. Being fat in middle age is asking for life-limiting health problems. Losing weight in itself isn’t difficult. You don’t need drugs. Just eat less & move more. It’s deciding to actually do it that’s the hard bit.

Take regular exercise. Find something you actually enjoy doing then you will keep doing it.

Get a dog.

Hard disagree. And I say that as an ex-dog owner who had 3 dogs for many years. When our last old boy passed away, we said ‘no more’ and we have stuck to it with no regrets.

Dogs are a massive commitment in terms of time, effort & money. The cost of responsible dog ownership, and particularly that of veterinary treatment, has gone through the roof in recent years. It absolutely isn’t for everyone and should not be entered into lightly.

Disappoint others before you disappoint yourself. Surround yourself with good people who care about you and don’t make room for the people who don’t. Don’t wait to do the things you really want to, go the places you really want to and see the things you really want to see. Be kind to yourself.

Keep yourself healthy
Plan for old age
Travel when/where you can, even if it's exploring the UK
Don't put up with fuckwits, and definitely don't marry them or have their children

• Be very careful who you allow into your life (it’s difficult to get rid of them).
• The horrible people always win, and they never seem to die either, so just accept it and stay away from them.
• Read the classics. Even if they sometimes bore or frustrate you, they repay the effort. Read Dickens and Jane Austen and George Eliot and Flaubert and Virginia Woolf and the Brontes and they will change you. Also, read out loud. Whenever you are alone, read the most joyful and life-affirming writers out loud (especially P G Wodehouse, Dickens, Patrick Fermor, Bill Bryson, etc). It is the best form of therapy.
• You generally get back what you put out there, so be kind and polite. YOU create the world you live in.
• Trust your gut instinct about people.
• Cut down on alcohol. It’s a disgusting, expensive and dangerous drug. It’s also a depressant. AND it causes cancer!
• Money can’t buy you happiness, but poverty CAN buy you misery. Money matters. Without money, you end up living somewhere noisy and depressing.
• Addiction is hell.
• The quickest way to ruin your life is to have children with the wrong person.
• Relationships should be one option among many, not the norm. Living with someone is very, very, very hard, so be sure. Never get in a relationship because you want to be ‘normal’. Wanting to be ‘normal’ ruins lives.
• Take up yoga.
• Meditate every day.
• Practice deep breathing.
• Don’t watch the news.
• Limit screen time.
• Avoid social media.
• Take care of your body from an early age.

Have a drink. Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think!!!!

Live within your means. Great for your finances and even better for your short and long term mental health. Never get into debt unless it’s for a mortgage or some life or death scenario.

Follow the advice of Baden-Powell, to 'Try to leave the World a little better than you found it'.

This, or not at all

@Dappy777 your point about money not buying happiness reminds me of my favourite Groucho Marx quotes:

“money can’t buy you happiness, but if you’ve got enough, you can rent it!”

I think that can be done now without the expense of a financial adviser.

Perimenopause is around the corner if not already knocking at your door. Get ahead of the game with your health. Start strength training 2- 3 times a week, clean up your diet, get plenty of sleep and reduce alcohol.

Also I have rekindled a love of learning and am finding a passion for things that interest me and listen to lots of podcasts etc.